A Straight Guy's Guide to Being Gay

Chapter 11

Theo scoffed, "Don't talk to me like you're from the 1800s or some shit—"

"That's not what that was."

"—and it is horrible because they won't leave me alone. Everywhere I go, there they are. It's just—" he broke off, rubbing his face with hot hands.

He looked at Finn whose face was pulled in confusion. "I thought that if you were my fake boyfriend, girls would leave me alone, and you could get that Riley kid off your ass."

"This is a terrible idea, Theo."

Theo rubbed his neck. "Then say no. But this could also boost votes for you as Class President," he said, dangling the words in the air like food to a starved child.

Finn's expression hardly changed, but Theo could see the consideration in his eyes.

"You know I'm right," Theo said nonchalantly. He examined his fingernails and felt every bit of a mafia boss.

Finn frowned. "How do I know that?"

Theo stared at him through lowered lashes. "I am the most popular guy in Eastlake High School. Everyone knows me and loves me." Theo didn't care if he sounded arrogant. "If you were to be seen with me, better yet, my boyfriend? Do you know how much more people would like you?"

"People don't like me?" He might've sounded hurt, but it was only amusement on Finn's symmetrical face.

Theo snorted. "Finnie, a lot of people don't like you. No one would vote for you if you ran for Class President."

Theo knew he got Finn's attention. All Finn wanted to do was get into the college of his dreams, Harvard, which meant that he had to have a flawless application. If he was Class President in addition to his perfect grades, that would definitely secure his admission letter.

Finn grimaced. "Don't call me Finnie. And if I agree to this, there will be rules. I want a contract, too, to ensure that you won't 'break up' with me before I run for president."

Theo was thoroughly bothered by how formal Finn spoke. It made him sound like a dumbass. "Dude, I plan on 'dating' you for a while. It's the only thing that will keep girls away."

"I'll come by this weekend, and we'll come up with a plan," Finn said reluctantly.

"So, you'll do it?" Theo asked hopefully, already knowing the answer but needing the confirmation.

Finn scrunched up his nose. "I never would have thought that one day I'd be stooping to someone at your level, but yes."

Theo rolled his eyes. "Don't sound too excited about it," he said numbly.

Finn glared at him, and they just sat there giving each other dirty looks until the bell rang. Theo couldn't wait to be free from this torture. It sounded like a fairytale that no creepy girls would obsess over him and leave him notes in his locker with their numbers scrawled on it in red ink. It felt like a dream that he could walk through the halls of the school and no girls would poke their heads out from behind a pillar or a wall. Or through a fucking bookcase with their camera flash on.

Theo walked out of the room, pumped for his "new life," but angry and a little terrified that it would be spent with Finn, the one person he despised the most.

—

There was nothing more comforting than the sound of The Office theme song, the lights dimmed, and a bowl of popcorn in his lap on a Friday night. He watched, his eyes glazed over, as Michael Scott walked in on crutches whining about a serious injury. The comedy, of course, being that he just burned his foot on a George Foreman Grill when he stepped out of bed that morning. Theo laughed and Becky giggled from the smaller couch to his left. His mom was curled up on the opposite side of the couch, wrapped in a fleece blanket.