I hate to see y'all frown but I'd rather see her smiling; I know I fucked up, I lied, I cheated, I manipulated you, but I'm ready now. Take me back. A players anthem.
Yes the chapters are named after songs
A good kid, raised in a world so tragic with the charm of his momma and the heart of his daddy.
*chapter warning, sexual and physical abuse present*
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Amiri stared down at his phone as multiple pictures of 10 pregnancy test illuminated the screen of his iPhone 14 pro. A part of him was completely at awe while another part of him was excited. Amari always wondered what type of father he would be, what his child would look, who would the mother of his child be, everything.
Amiri grew up in a single parent household with a serious lack of a father figure or male figure around to show him how to be a man. Everything Amiri knew about being a man came from the strong influence of his mother and late grandmother. Amiri wanted to be a way better version of a man than his father ever was and he wanted to give his loving mother the world on a silver platter for all the hardships she had to endure during he upbringing. It would also be his way of apologizing for all the heartache he caused her.
Amiri sometimes as a teen found himself questioning his faith and beliefs because of how much pain he had experienced at such a young age. If there was really a God then why did God put him in so many bad situations. By the age 12 Amiri had buried 4 friends within one summer, including his best friend, all children. He spent his first years of adolescence in a broken household where his father slapped around on his mother and himself while his late younger sister got another end of the stick.
Amiri needed a quick and easy way to remove his family from their dangerous situation. Amiri attempted to do things the correct way and did what they taught in school, dial 911 if you find yourself in danger. Most school systems taught kids that police are supposed to protect you but Amiri learned the hard way that for a black man in America that was not always the case. When he needed an officer to do their job the most is when they failed him the hardest.
With a racist and broken system Amiri felt alone in a heartless, tragic world and sometimes unfortunate circumstances bring unfortunate results. Amiri turned to one of the local gangs for assistance on a situation oblivious to the fact that all debts must be paid; it might not be immediately, but everybody's clock gone run out at some point. Amiri's time as an innocent child quickly came to a halt when it was time to return on that favor that he needed months back.
10 years ago
"Amiri," his mother screamed from her bedroom of their small 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom section 8 housing unit.
Amiri bolted down the small hallway, always ready for whatever task his mother asked of him. Standing in her doorway the young Amiri's mocha brown eyes connected with his mothers as he waited on her to acknowledge his presence.
"Hi pumpkin, can you go to the corner store for me and get the stuff on the list please. I'm tired. The food stamp card is on the dresser."
"Yes ma'am, do you need anything else before I go," Amiri asked genuinely while looking at his mom use castor oil to remove the heavy makeup on her face that masked the black eye and busted lip that her husband had given her the night prior.
