My heart follows you

Chapter 1 / crowded space

(3rd person POV)

Justin and Ryan have been dating for 7 months, but they weren't exactly acting like it for the last 3 months. Ryan has been distant from Justin, he doesn't know the reason but just brushed it off because Ryan meant a lot to him.

Sat morning 10:23am

"I found a nice place we could go next week end for a date, since we haven't gone on one for a while." Justin said showing Ryan pictures of a cute cat café. Ryan looked at him with a sad expression and sighed. "Justin, I think we need to talk." Ryan said pushing Justin's phone away. Justin looked at him and sat up. "What do you mean?" He asked looking at Ryan confused but anxious. "Justin, I love you I really do, but..." Ryan said hesitantly. Justin's face turned to a panic. "I think we need to have a break or just end things." Ryan said holding Justin's shoulder. "What! Why?" Justin said in panic. "I just don't have feelings like I did when we first started dating." Ryan explained feeling horrible. Justin's face dropped and he started tearing up. "Whatever I did I can fix it, we don't need to break up. I'll be better." Justin pleaded. "Listen Justin, I'm sorry. Maybe it's for the best." Ryan said getting off the bed. "Ok. If it makes you happy, we will break up." Justin said with tears falling down his cheeks. Ryan walked over and hugged Justin tight, then walked out the room. Justin stood there silent but collapsed and started crying. "What did I do?" Justin said uncontrollably sobbing.

(Ryan's POV)

'I feel horrible but I can't be with him if I lost feelings.' I thought feeling hesitant about my decision. I walked into me and Darren's room acting like nothing happened but inside I felt hurt and like I made a bad decision.

(Justin's POV)

'Did I hurt him? Am I doing something wrong? Does he like someone else?' My mind was wondering. I felt like my chest was ripped open. I was having a panic attack. I got up falling onto the bed, cuddling into a pillow making it wet from my drowned eyes. "Fuck man!" I yelled throwing the pillow across the room. "I just want him back!" I cried hitting the mattress. I heard the door open and seeing Olly standing in front of the door, I assumed he heard me yelling. "Justin what the hell?!" He said worried. "What happened?!" He asked running to me. He pulled me into a hug, with me making his shirt wet. "What's wrong?" He asked rubbing the back of my head. "Me and Ryan broke up!" I sobbed. Ollys face dropped and he sighed. "I'm so sorry Justin." He said with a sympathetic tone. He cuddled me the whole night, letting me cry into his arms.

2 hours later

"Please don't tell the stars about our break up yet?" I asked trying to stop crying. "Of course, but can I tell the boys so they don't ask about you guys?" Olly asked wiping my tears. "Yeah that's fine." I said sniffing.

The next morning

(3rd persons POV)

"Ok I called you guys here without Justin and Ryan cause I have something important to tell you." Olly said clapping his hands together. Everyone looked confused and intrigued. "Well, Justin and Ryan broke up, so please don't mention anything about them or talk about their relationship." Olly explained. Everyone's faces were shocked and worried. "Why?" Kane asked concerned. "I can't say anything further, you guys may leave." Olly said keeping Justin and Ryan's privacy safe. All the members went to do their own thing, when Ryan walked down stairs. He didn't looked fazed at all. He was his normal self and didn't seem sad at all. "Hey Ryan." Darren said putting his arm around him. "Hey." He said sitting by the counter of the kitchen. "How are you?" Darren asked walking next to Regie. "I'm good." He said going on his phone. Everyone looked at each other subtly.

2 months later

"Has anyone seen Justin lately?" Kane asked looking around. Everyone looked at each other and shrugged. Oliver's face became concerned and got off the couch. Olly glanced at Ryan who expression was off. He went upstairs knocking at Justin's door. "Justin it's me, can I come in?" He asked slightly opening the door. He didn't get a response so he just walked in. He saw Justin laying on the bed. "Justin..?" He said sitting on the bed. He turned over looking at Oliver, his eyes were red and puffy and his face looked lifeless. "Have you eaten today?" Olly asked him going closer to him. Justin closed then opened his eyes and sighed. "I had lunch earlier." He replied turning back over. Olly sighed but knew Justin was feeling off so he didn't say anything further. "If you need anything call me." Olly said walking to the door. "Thanks." Justin responded closing his eyes. Olly walked out closing the door behind him.

(Justin's POV)

I can't even get out of bed, my stomach is growling but I don't have energy to get up and get food. Obviously I lied to Olly because I don't want others around me to be concerned. I just feel numb. "I miss him so much." I said feeling tears run down my cheeks. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it. I felt like breaking everything and I wasn't angry at Ryan I was angry at myself. I got out of bed to change clothes so I felt a bit better. I walked to the closet and looked for a hoodie and a pair of sweats, when searching in my messed up closet I saw a hoodie I recognised. I took it out and starting crying again. It was Ryan's. "Fuck man." I said drained. I put the hoodie on but felt angry. I started throwing all the clothes out my closet and punched the wall. It put a hole through the wall leaving my hand red. "What did I do wrong." I said falling against the wall sobbing.

Wow that was a ride to write 🧍 (1034 words)