Hurting and Deserting (Completed)

Chapter 9

It was a few hours later. Alice woke to the sound of banging. She sat up and looked towards the door. She waited....but the sound wasn't coming from the door, it was coming from Alex. She walked over to the shelf and tapped gently on the side of the box "Alex are you alright?"

Alexander woke with a start "yes I'm fine."

"You were kicking the box. Did you have a bad dream."

Alexander had bad dreams every time he closed his eyes. He couldn't even remember this one. He only remembered the shout of Hans' name again. It still echoed in his head.

"No," he lied "I was thinking about my parents. I'm sure they think I'm a coward for running away."

"No they don't, I don't think you are. You were scared of being hurt by another bomb. That's sensible Alex, not cowardly. You were brave to run, you could have been arrested but you did it anyway."

"Does that make me brave or stupid?"

"Brave. You've always been brave. It was brave of you to ask me for help, and it was brave of you to tell me about your injury. How did it happen anyway?"

"I told you. It was a bomb explosion."

"But bombs don't just explode randomly. The Germans must have thrown it at you, or placed it near you, so which was it?"

"It was a bomb they'd placed near our trench" Alexander lied.

"So they were trying to kill one of you on purpose? That's horrible."

Alexander knew that it was horrible. But he had killed someone on purpose. He had pulled the trigger on Hans by choice. He had consciously chosen to pull the trigger and end his life.

"Yes," he said "that's what everyone's doing on the battlefield, trying to kill each other on purpose."

"I wonder what it feels like to know you've killed someone," Alice said. Alexander tensed. "I don't think I could live with myself if I killed someone. It's murder isn't it?" She continued.

"Well, yes I suppose it is" Alexander said "why exactly did you go into service anyway?"

"Why are you changing the subject?"

"It brings back horrid memories of the explosion thinking about the war."

"Alright. Well I suppose I went into service to help my parents. I wanted to help them as my father needed to see a doctor. He'd had a terrible fever for a while. I wanted to help him get better and once I'd raised the money to help him I couldn't face leaving Mrs Evans."

"Why not?"

"Well she had a son when she was younger but he died when he was only 9 years old."

"That's so sad. What happened to him?"

"He died from scarlet fever. She lost her husband in a mine explosion soon after. She never remarried but she almost became a mother to me, since I lost my parents she pretty much adopted me."

"What about the other people who worked in the house? What were they like?"

"Well there was George. He was the footman. He was actually in love with me."

"Did you like him in that way?"

"Oh heavens no. He was much too outgoing for me, He liked to...how can I put this?...have a good time when he went out on his days off."

Alexander laughed "oh, I see."

"He wasn't my type."

"Am I your type?"