Silent Survivor

10. Filled With Panic

Me and Jaden are currently walking back to his house. In silence. It's awkward, like really awkward. My phone keeps vibrating, the thing is I know exactly who it is. Hazel. I sigh, and unlock my phone to see all of her messages.

Hazel: look no offense but u have a shitty mom
Hazel: Omg what about nathan?
Hazel: but where r u going to stay? Your fucking homeless now
Hazel: Helllooo?
Hazel: holy shit did u get kidnapped?!
Hazel: Answer me rn Valerie Miller.

Me: Hey yeah i'm fine. i'm going to stay with Jaden

Hazel: WTF HOW MUCH COULD HAPPEN IN 15 MINS.

Me: I'll explain later, i'm with him rn we're walking to his house

Hazel: AHHHH U BETTER TELL ME WHAT HAPPNES, U BETTER GET TOGETHER

Me: Ew stfu i'll text u later

Hazel: Okayy

I turn off my phone, and slide it back into my hoodie pocket.

All of a sudden I feel tears rush to my eyes. I look up to try to push them back into my eyes but it's no use.

I start shaking.

And I collapse.

I'm sitting on the floor, crying and shaking. I cant breath. This jackets to tight. My sweatpants are to baggy. My backpacks are to heavy.

"Woah, woah." Jaden says, holding me as I fall, "Hey hey, your okay. Everything is okay." he calms me, it's not working. I'm sobbing. I somehow manage to get out a, "H-Hazel." Jaden's holding me, "Hazel? You want to talk to Hazel?" he pulls out his phone and calls her.

"Hello?" I hear her say, "Hey, so uhm Valerie's-- something's happening and she told me to call you." he explains, "Shit. Okay give her the phone." Jaden gives me the phone. I've had panic attacks before. They come and go, but I don't have a diagnosis, I can't afford to go to the hospital to find out news I already know.

"Valerie. Hey, remember when we went to the boutique and found this ugly ass dress?" she knows exactly how to deal with my anxiety. Distract me, get me to think about other things, like memories. "Or when we had a drawing competition and I drew the ugliest looking dog?" Jaden is looking at me worry filling his eyes. A hand on my back, rubbing up and down. I still cant properly breath, I'm still shaking.

"Or... remember when Nathan thought a condom was a balloon? And blew it up?" I chuckle. I take a deep breath. I'm still heavily breathing. Not shaking much.

"Good, good. Are you okay?" Hazel asks me, "I-I think.." I say, putting my head into my hands, "What happened to trigger this one?" she asks, "I'm not sure." I'm rubbing away the tears with my hands. "That's fine. If you need anything at all, call me, okay?" she orders, "Mhm, yeah, thank you." I'm trying to collect myself from what just happened, "Okay, I love you." "I love you too, bye." I tell her, and hang up. I lean against the metal fence, and sigh, looking up at the sky. Jaden sits next to me, "So, you uhm had a panic attack?" he asks, "Yep. It's nothing new."

~~~~~
We eventually get to Jaden's house. Not to
mention that it's huge. Like scary huge.

He opens the front the door, and I see a big Husky running for the door, "Skai! Sit!" Jaden yells at the dog, "You don't mind dogs, right?" he asks, "It's fine, I love dogs." I say bending down to Skai's height and petting her, her tails wagging and she's trying to lick me. I stand back up, facing Jaden.

"Follow me." he says guiding me upstairs, I follow him and we get to a door. He opens it and it reveals what I'm assuming is his room.

His king size bed is in the middle of the room, two ash wood bedside tables, the dresser across from the bed holds a flat screen above and a desk on one of the other walls. And an electric guitar next to the dress. There's also clothes everywhere. "So, uh this is my room. You can use my bathroom to take a shower or whatever." he says, "Oh okay, uhm thanks." I tell him and walk into the bathroom with my bigger backpack that holds practically everything I own.

I go into the huge bathroom. The double sink, is made of marble. So is the shower. Damn, his family is rich.

I turn on the shower and put it on the hottest level. I take off my clothes and get in the shower. All I see is just men's shampoo, and body wash. At least the man doesn't have 2 in 1. He has everything in separate bottles.

I stand in the shower for a little. I take my time to wash my hair and body.

20 minutes later, I step out of the bathroom dressed in one of my oversized maroon hoodies, dark grey sweatpants, and black socks. (We ain't letting the grippers be free)

I see Jaden, on his bed and on his phone. He notices me and stands up. "Here, let me show you to the guest room." he says, "Okay."

He leads me into the room next to his, "This one also has its own bathroom. You can go down to the kitchen anytime you want. My moms pretty chill, so she won't mind." he tells me. I place all my shit on the ground, "Yeah, uhm thank you for letting me stay here. It means a lot." I thank him. "Yeah, it's no problem." he says, he's leaning against the door frame of the room. "So, yeah, good night. Let me know if you need anything." Jaden starts leaving the room but I stop him. "Wait." I walk up to him and hug him. This is a hug I've been needing forever. And luckily he hugs me back just as tight as I'm hugging him.

I let got of him and look up at his eyes, "Good night." we hold eye contact for a little bit before he gives me a tiny smile, walking out and closes the door behind him.

I turn around and take a look around the room. There's a queen sized bed with a dresser across,  and tv hung up above the dresser, and dark wood bedside tables and each side. I first, turn off the main light and go to one of the bedside tables and turn on the lamp. I then crawl into bed turn off the lamp, and and fall asleep.

~~~~~
⚠️My new tiktok account is booksbylayy my main account got banned, which made me log out of all my other accounts including Booker.tok and i can't log back in cuz it's suspended :(⚠️

Dudeee i feel like this chapter is super freaking rushed, and it's short 😭
Anywaysss there will be a chapter tmr! And i'm sorry for the slow posting!
Ily and vote for more long chapters!! 💋