Basically Cable

Basically Cable Part 1

"You like movies?"

                                       "I know I sure do."

   "You ever see the one with the guy wearing some other guys face? OH! and he had a chainsaw."

                       "I wonder how they did the gore effects when he slashed into that girl"

"Wait a minute, this isn't what these guys are here for. They want a new story. They don't want to hear us ramble on about some blockbuster horror film from decades ago. Let's start it right here. This is how I got my piece of mind back. A piece I had been looking to get back for a long time."

The smell of slightly over-microwaved popcorn filled the air. The soft chatter of people poured out of the television speakers. A buzzing microwave followed by an urgent beep. A signal all too familiar for us tv buffs. I opened the door to the microwave, pulling out the steamy hot bag of freshly cooked popcorn. My nostrils are filled with buttery goodness as I take a big whiff.

            "Ahh, now that's the good stuff."

As I walk back towards the living room of my studio apartment, I shake the bag violently, preparing the popcorn for consumption.

            "Time for my favorite part of the day!"

I plomp down in my living room throne (A dad-worthy recliner) and kick up the footrest. I lean back and...

"Oh, uh I guess I should tell you who I am? Getting ahead of myself already. My name is Box. Three simple letters. Like a cardboard box. Yep that's me... Look, I know you cant see me. All you've got for reference right now is that lil cover art doodle. The guy with the TV face? Yea that's me. Hm? What's that? You want a description? You can see me you doofus. It's fine to use a little imagination. You don't need to see what I look like under that helmet. Yea, it's a helmet. I..."

Pausing mid sentence I look over to my clock which read "5:03."

"Wait a minute, hold that thought, buddy. Thanks for staying tuned this long."

I reach into the cushion of the recliner, searching for the remote. I yank it out quick, changing the channel up, and down to confirm it was correct.

"Where's my show? It's supposed to be on at 5pm. Look, you readers don't understand. This show is very important to me. Give me a second. I need to make a call."

I hastily yank my phone from my sweatpants pocket. Unlocking and dialing my friend Guillermo with breakneck speed. As it starts to ring I stare blankly at the tv. An unnerving feeling. A feeling of disarray and uncertainty. Finally I hear a "hello" through the phone speaker, breaking my concentration. 

"GUILLERMO!!! Where the FUCK is my show?!"

                                                          "B-box!? Jesus, man. Warn a guy before you scream into the phone."

"Your ears are fine. I need to know something. Where are my reruns?"

                                                          "Oh, riiight. Box I thought you'd have known. We're not going to be running the first 3 seasons of the show anymore. They just aren't getting the network views like they want. All the kids want to see the new episodes. They've got a lot more..."

"WHAT!? I WILL BE THERE SOON! WHO DO THESE GUYS THINK THEY ARE?"

                                                          "No worries man, I'll meet you at the..."

*Beep*

                                                          "Front door. And he hung up on me."

My feet burned through the carpet as I so grrrrrracefully stepped into my bedroom. GRrrrrrr ugh man.

"Look, I watch these reruns on the daily. They're very important to me. You see, my mom was a very famous actor. And they replaced her when she died. I know that's a lot to take in suddenly, but trust me. I need to go have a chat with my friend over at the basically cable network. No way! I'm not letting them do her legacy dirty like this."

I step in front of my dresser. A dusty sheet covered a squarish object. I pull the veil away. Sha-laa... It's the tv helmet I was talking about before. I mean look at this thing. It's so cool. It tracks my eye and mouth movements and digitizes a face for me.

"So why would I need something like this? To cover my face you bozos. Mama didn't raise an angel."

I smirk before picking up the helmet and sliding it onto my head. After fastening the tv helmet correctly and securely I open my wardrobe doors. There hung a single elegant pinstripe tux. The one she was supposed to wear on her season finale. 

"Im not not sure she even got to wear it. I'll do you proud mom."

I urgently slipped on the outfit, pants first, then the jacket, dress shoes, neckerchief, and finally i reach inside the inner coat pocket to pull out a pair of white gentleman's gloves. I gussy up, and tighten the neckerchief before darting towards the front door. I pause before slamming it shut just to say.

"Come along, you're not gonna want to miss this. Join us in part two won't ya?"

 *BAM* 

The door slammed shut, and Box started his journey.