"I'm tired." He said gruffly. Lucian took some food and piled it onto his plate. If anyone else had acted this rude to me, I might have stood up for myself. But I can't with Lucian. I can only wonder what it is I've done wrong.

I didn't say anything as I stood up and went to the bathroom. I locked the door before staring at myself in the mirror. What did I do?

I lifted my shirt slightly to show the tiny bit of stomach fat I had. I knew it wasn't much, but Lucian might prefer none at all. I could probably work it off. I squeezed the extra fat on my thighs. After Dorian I couldn't get rid of it. Even though I was still young, I seemed to not be able to work it off.

I sighed before exiting the bathroom. Whatever it is, I hope that Lucian can tell me. If he... wants a divorce. Than I'll respect that.

When I entered the dining room, it was empty. Lucian was gone. His plate was in the dishwasher along with his cup. He must have gone to bed. Maybe he was tired.

I cleaned up the food and put everything away. I lost
my appetite. Maybe it's for the best.

I headed upstairs only to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. Sleep has not come easy these last few days. Unlike most night, Lucian has not been getting up with me when Dorian cries. Usually he stayed up with me while I feed him. I am grateful for that, however he hasn't been. I was grateful that Vanessa was willing to take him for the night.

Finally I got up. This was useless. I had to find out why he was basically ignoring me.

I realized I was still in jeans from earlier. I quickly changed into some shorts and one of Lucian's shirt. After I was changed I headed to the guest bedroom. Lucian wasn't even sleeping. He was laying on top of the sheets staring at me as I walked in.

"What?" He said. His voice was low, but not harsh.

"I- I just... I just w- wanted to k- know... why- why you've be- been avoiding me." I said with as much confidence as I could muster. I was terrible at this.

"What do you mean?" Lucian asked. He sounded angry. Certainly not at me?

"I- I know I don't- don't look l- like I did- did be- before Dorian, but I c- can work it- it off." I said. This was going worse than I thought. Lucian just stared at me. He had sat up now, but yet to say anything. "Or- or May- maybe you'd p- prefer an o- older wo- woman." I said quietly. I think I disliked that idea more than my flab.

"Don't fucking say that." Lucian growled. "I'm not avoiding you because of your body or scars from bearing our son. And I don't want another woman." He stood up and stepped in front of me. His hand lifted my chin up so I could see directly in his eyes. "I don't want you to ever think I don't want you for your body. I fucking worship you." Lucian whispered in my ear. A shiver went down my spine with that.

"T- than why?" I asked. If not for my body, than why avoid me?

"I hate myself everyday for letting you see me at my worst. I come into our home and taint it with my sins." Lucian growled and backed away. "You deserve a man who doesn't kill people for fun." He sat down on the bed with his head in his hands. He really thinks this matters to me? "I can't stand tainting your pure soul with my blackened one." Lucian said.

I took a step towards him. He doesn't dislike me, he dislikes himself.

"Lucian, I don't care about w- who you've killed." I removed his head and placed my hands on his cheeks. "As long as y- you come home to- to me and Dorian e-each night safe, I- I am ok." I said. It was the truth. I only wanted him. I didn't care about the blood that soaked his hands.

"This shouldn't be a normal." Lucian sighed. I was surprised when a single tear dropped down his cheek. He was crying.

"I married you. I stayed f- for you." I stated. I brought my lips down onto his. I tasted the saltiness of the few tears Lucian managed to cry.

"Fuck. Please stop stuttering." He demanded. My stutter made him feel like I was afraid of him.

"You have to agree to talk to me when you feel sad." I said all without stuttering.

"I promise, darling." Lucian picked me up and carried me back to our room.

His lips found mine as he laid me down gently. My shirt and shorts were off quickly. His lips found my breasts next. One hand payed attention to the one breast while his other hand drew circled against my thigh.

"I love these." Lucian squeezed a breast. "They fit perfectly in my hand." Next he squeezed my thighs, effectively causing the sensation down there to increase. "I fucking adore these. They fit my waist perfectly." Lucian left gentle kisses to my stomach. My biggest insecurity. "And this, has carried our son, and will carry more."

After successfully boosting my ego, Lucian latched on to my core. He acted as if it were his last meal on death row.

Soft moans came from me. I was used to keeping quiet for Dorian. Lucian didn't like that. He slapped my thigh signaling to let go.

"L- Lucian!" I moaned loudly as I rode my high.

Lucian tore off his boxers and readied himself. He lifted mg legs as he thrust in in one swift motion. The familiar feeling of being full opened a new gate of sounds.

"Fuck." Lucian groaned as he began moving. My nails scratched at his back as he pounded into me. His lips sucked and licked at my neck bringing my higher. "Emily." He sighed in my ear. My name sounded odd coming from him, but it excites me more.

I came than Lucian did a few moments later. He stayed still, letting me ride mine out a bit longer. After I calmed a bit, he rolled over with me on top. His hands rested on my butt.

"I love you more than my own fucking life." Lucian growled. He gave me a deep kiss before leaving one on my temple.

"I love you too." I sighed.

"Do you understand that I will never want anything but you?" He asked. His tone serious.

"Yes." I answered. Lucian huffed softly, leaving another kiss on my temple,

"Let's get you cleaned up now. And fed." I looked at him sharply, how did he know. "I know, darling." He chuckled. "I know."
———

I know some of you don't like the stutter, buts that's how I see this character.

Hope you enjoyed!

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 01, 2022 ⏰

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