we're not on the map but we're on our way

1/3

The lights have been off for a while, when Brendon, who knows none of them are asleep yet, asks, "Have you guys ever been in love?"

"Yeah," Spencer says without hesitation, a smile in his voice.

"Yeah," Jon answers and a familiar guilt pounds in his chest.

"Yeah," Ryan replies with a sadness everyone can hear.

Brendon whispers, "I've never been," and they fall into silence.

* * *

Brendon gets to drive the next day. He struggles with the changing of the gears at first, but once they are back on the endless roads between distant cities, he is just as good of a driver as Jon or Ryan, which isn't hard because it's just straight road ahead of them.

Ryan and Spencer share the backseat, playing cards. Jon keeps his elbow out of the window, letting the breeze mess up his hair. A song comes on the radio, one that makes Ryan's face light up.

"Turn it up, turn it up!" he advises Jon, who reluctantly obeys.

"I know this song!" Brendon says and begins to sing. It's Lynyrd Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama and they're not in Alabama, but they don't mind. Ryan begins to sing along too, drumming the beat against his skinny thighs. Spencer joins in on the second chorus, and Jon shakes his head slightly and begins to sing too. They are out of tune, their four voices hardly harmonise, but they sing along and it feels good.

The song ends, but they keep smiling.

Brendon doesn't realise to keep an eye on gas, but luckily Jon asks. A gas station comes along just before they completely run out. They all go inside to pay and to get something to drink because they're out of water and juice. They're running a little low on cash, so Spencer kindly offers to use his credit card.

"Sorry but ya'll have to pay cash," the man behind the counter says. "Machine's broke."

Defeated, they disregard the food and empty their pockets to see how much gas they can get with the money they have left. They realise they are worth a total $32.15.

"Goddammit," Jon sighs. "Where's the next gas station?"

"A hundred miles or so," the man drawls.

"Can I talk to the owner?" Ryan asks.

"Ya already are," the man smiles proudly.

Jon buys some water and cigarettes before he leads Spencer and Brendon outside. They wait in the car, and Ryan comes back out ten minutes later.

Ryan slides in the backseat, and his lips are swollen and red. The smile from earlier has been wiped out.

"Hit it," Jon tells Brendon.

Brendon nods nervously and he stumbles with the gears worse than before, but manages to get the car back on the road. Jon passes Ryan a bottle of water and Ryan takes a slug. He washes his mouth with it, rolls down the window and spits outside.

They have a tank full of gas.

* * *

"Where are you from?" Brendon asks Ryan.

"Nowhere," Ryan replies. Spencer is sleeping on the passenger seat and Jon is driving.

"Everyone's from somewhere," Brendon argues.

"I'm not," Ryan says firmly.

"Arkansas," Jon interrupts their conversation. Ryan and Brendon look outside, just in time catching a "Welcome to Arkansas!" sign as they leave Oklahoma behind.