Ten Years Without Love

First Therapy Session

Normally I would wear socks that go up to the knees, but Michael isn't here anymore.... so I don't even try to dress nice anymore....

I put on a pair of shoes with shoelaces. I do not know how to tie them, so I just leave them untied... I haven't worn these shoes ever since I made this body....

I don't bother with brushing my hair. What's the point???...

I then go downstairs and to the front door where Billy was waiting for me.

God....... I don't fucking want to do this.....
I just want Michael back....

Billy looks at me. "Let's go. We're going to be late all because you took fucking forever to get your ass up" He grabs some type of things that make noises, I think keys??... I do not know the name.... but they are used for vehicles to make them work.

I don't say anything. I don't really talk anymore...
I only talk when my kids are around.... I don't really talk to Billy or Steve, because I feel like they are starting to hate me again.....
maybe not so much Steve, but I can tell that Billy is annoyed with me crying over how the voices won't stop.... but I know he understands how much I cry over Michael and miss him like crazy....

Billy goes outside and I follow behind him. He goes inside of his blue vehicle.
What am I supposed to do??...
Go inside of it????

"DACRE!!! GET IN HERE!!!!!"

I flinch. Jesus.... why does he have to yell....
I get into the vehicle and I sit beside him.

"Buckle up"

What???....
What does that mean??
I look at him with confusion on my face.

"Oh my fucking god" Billy huffs and growls as he roughly grabs this weird thing and puts it around my body and hooks it into something. "Your. fucking. seat. belt."
Seatbelt??... Thats what this is????

".....Sorry, I have never been in a vehicle thing before...."

"Clearly not" Billy grumbles and puts the keys into something inside the vehicle that turns the vehicle on.

I look outside of the window without saying anything.
I hate this.... I just want Michael back... I don't want to go to this fucking therapy place...

I then hear a noise and it makes me jump.
I hear voices.... but it isn't voices in my head this time. It is other voices and sounds. "H-huh!!"

I look around frantically and then at Billy. He doesn't look phased by anything....
"What is that sound...."

Billy gave me a 'are you really this stupid' look. "That's the radio, dumbass" He says while starting to make the vehicle thing move.

Radio??? What is a radio????? I don't know what a radio is....
"What is radio??.."

"Oh my fucking god. It's music, Dacre. I'm playing music"

Music??....
I have heard of the word before, but I never really knew it.... this is music??..
"I did not know that...."