Clouds As Witnesses (RUBY DA CHERRY/$UICIDEBOY$)

Chapter 54

Confident that Shay was in stable condition, especially with Ari there to keep an eye on her, the nurse graciously opted to give them some privacy before the doctor came in. Shay hoped it would be the OB doctor who had done her procedure and not the emotionless ER doctor from before; she hadn't caught either of their names. But she would worry about that later, since Ari was reclining her bed so she could sit up and eat without moving too much. The late dinner choice was a grilled cheese sandwich, tater tots, and a Pepsi, courtesy of the hospital staff and Ari's thoughtful decision-making.

"Come sit with me." She pleaded, trying to ignore the discomfort in her lower half when she scooted over in the bed. She wanted him closer, needed to feel the shelter of his protective warmth.

Ari was hesitant about her request, but a poked out bottom lip appeared to do the trick. Soon enough, his dirt-covered shoes from the pumpkin patch were beside the guest chair and he was situated behind her while she ate her sandwich and sipped on her drink. Though she wasn't very hungry, she made an effort just for him.

She also tried to share, but Ari refused to take anything until she was one hundred percent done. Only then did he finish the last few bites that she sincerely couldn't stomach. Poor guy was probably starving. All they had eaten today were the donuts. The initial plan had been to stop for food with Scott and Jas after the pumpkin patch. Too bad Shay's stupid body had to ruin everything.

Feeling defeated, she moved her food tray back to the side table and curled into Ari's body heat. His arms came around her waist in a heartfelt embrace and they sat in a reposeful silence, his head resting on top of hers and his legs virtually hugging her body between them. Although it didn't take the pain away completely, it was exactly what she needed in that moment.

Still, the faint smell of pumpkin lingered on Ari's hands and she hated the melancholy feeling its scent brought along with it. What was once so joyous and memorable had quickly become a bitter sting, a vitriolic reminder of what was no longer theirs. The two pumpkins were all that would remain of their child, and even those would decay and cease to exist with time. She wasn't ready for that.

Slowly, she shifted until she was lying next to Aristos, coaxing him to do the same until they were lying face-to-face. How could he still look at her like she were the most beautiful woman in the world in her disheveled state? Even in his grief, he admired her. But his brooding brown eyes, while shining with love and adoration, were also stricken with the remnants of his despair.

Shay would choose not to think of the sorrow in his face when she left the room; when he was left alone with his thoughts, left with only the fact that his child was gone and his girlfriend was bleeding and distressed. The fatherhood that he was just starting to adjust to had been ripped away so unexpectedly, and then he had to face the reality of it alone.

In the time that she had been under, he seemed to have pulled it together, but it had clearly taken a toll on him. The aftermath could be seen in his bloodshot eyes, the raw skin around his nose, the sleep-deprived dark circles deepened in color from emotional exhaustion. Ari already seemed so much older, so much more mature, so worn down and sad.

The baby's existence had forced them to grow up quickly, but its loss was going to do some major damage. It wasn't fucking fair.

"Why, Ari?" She croaked out, scrupulously studying the pretty features of his face. "Why did this have to happen to us? I don't get it."

He soothingly rubbed her back in small circles, his voice thick with emotion. "I don't have an answer, baby girl. It fucking sucks. I talked to the doctor, though, if you want to know what happened. Or what they think it was, at least."

That didn't really make any sense. Usually miscarriages "just happened." That's all she'd ever heard in the fertility lab. Something to do with chromosomes, just bad luck or bad timing.