Chapter 1: Contradictions

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Do you know what it feels like to be in love but not to believe in love? I do, I call it l'affection contradictoire, or contradictory affection.

Contradictory affection is sitting there and listening to her talking about him, heart shattering with each word passing her pale lips while simultaneously doubting that love exists.

It is the feeling you get when he winks at you and brings a blush to your cheeks but you don't think he actually likes you.

Contradictory affection is the sheer relief you feel when they grab your hand and press a kiss onto your cheek and the dread you feel as you think about the idea that love no matter how strong is never eternal.

It is the feeling of unimaginable sorrow and grief that you feel every time you see people holding hands, looking so deeply into each others eyes that you think they'll drown and you begin to wonder when one of them will fall out of love.

So to answer two questions: yes, I am infatuated my girlfriend more than anything but no I do not believe in this fickle thing we call love.

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A/N Class is about to start... fuck my life.

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