Always Starting Over

I Hate to Go

Idina's POV

I role over onto a cold spot on the bed. I feel around for James and find nothing. So I heave myself out of bed, seeing that I'm 22 weeks along, I sort of waddle to the living room. I see James standing up, on his phone with a saddened look on his face.
"Ok thank you for telling me mom. I will talk to Idina about all of it. Tell dad I love him and I love you too. Uh huh ok goodbye mom!" He hangs up and looks over to me with tears in his eyes.

I cross my arms over my belly and walk over to him. He starts to cry.
"Baby, what's wrongs!?" I ask seriously, putting my hands on his shoulder and leading him to the couch. He sits down and looks up at me.
"My- my dads cancer is progressing and he isn't getting better. It's-it's-it's at the final stage. My mom said he might only have a 2 months to live.... And I-I don't know what I'm gonna do!!" He finally finishes through sobbing as he hangs his head in his hands.
"James... I know exactly what you are going to do!" I rub his back.
"You are going to pack your bag while I get you a plane ticket straight to California!" I rest his head on my chest as he wraps his arms around my belly.
"But I can't leave you and the babies! I can't and I won't!" He refuses.
"No ifs ands or buts mister! Now go get your clothes on so we can find out what gender these little things are while I get on that ticket!"
"Idina..... I can't leave you not when you are like this!" He still refuses.
"James! You are going whether You don't want to leave me or not! Me and the babies will be fine! I have my parents and LaChanze and
Mrs. Jenkins next door! Everything will be a-okay!" I kiss him fiercely on the lips to reassure him.
"Ok... But I'm not going to like it," he says walking to the bedroom.

I don't like that he has to leave either, but if it were me in his position I know that I'd want to see my dad too. So all I can do is support him through all of this and just be there for him.

I grab my laptop and start searching the most recent flights. There is one that leaves tomorrow at noon. I buy the ticket and print it off. Afterwards I also get dressed; Black blouse, black and white floral leggings and flat sandals. I through my hair in a bun and slapped some makeup on my face. Walker is with my mom for a while and most likely will be till James comes back home.

We arrived to the private clinic and Mariah was waiting for us. We went through all of the steps with the gel and the waiting until she finally spoke.
"Would you like to know the genders of your babies?" She smiled. Me and James both nodded.
"Well," she pointed to the screen "baby one is a girl! And baby two is a boy!"
"Wow! A boy and a girl...." I whispered to James. He just held my hand tighter.

I cleaned off my belly and we payed for the video of the sonogram and the pictures.

The rest of the day me and James really didn't speak to each other. We cuddled a lot and just sort of relaxed. Frequently napping throughout the day. At around 11 o'clock we just give up and go to bed.

The next morning we get up at around 9 and we get ready. I drive James to the airport myself. And I wait with him till it's about time for his flight to arrive.

"I love you baby!" I say wrapping my arms around his neck and kiss him on the lips.
"I love you more..." He says sadly as he kisses me back, this time with more passion. He kneels In front of me.
"And I love you two too! Promise to be good for mommy and to stay healthy!" He says to my belly then kisses it.
"Please give your parents my love and keep me updated with your dad!" I kiss him again.
"I will FaceTime you every night if I can and text you frequently throughout the day!! Trust me..... I'm gonna miss you so much!!!" He says starting to tear up, which causes me to tear up.
"Stop you're gonna make me cry and I'm already an emotional wreck!" I hug him tightly. He kisses me one last time before turning around to bored his plane.

James's POV

As I bored the plane I look back one last time and see Idina wiping a tear off her cheek and then she walks away. I push back my own tears as i quickly find my seat. A window seat.. Thank goodness. An old woman sits next to me and within the next 20 minutes the plane takes off.

About an hour in the old woman looks over to me. I'm staring at my phone which shows a picture of Idina, Walker, and Ollie.
"Is that your family?" She asks in a brittle old woman's voice.
"Yes it is," I smile at her.
"Your wife is very pretty!" She says smiling back.
"Thank you, we aren't married yet though!! But I miss her already!" I admit.
"What is her name? And your childrens? If I may ask?" She questions.
"Well, my wife's name is Idina." I point to Walker "that is my stepson Walker." I point to Oliver "and that is my son Oliver!" And then lastly I point to Idina's not so obvious baby bump. "And Idina is pregnant with twins... Violet and Brady!" I say as I tear up a little.
"You have a very beautiful family! Oh pardon me, I'm Sharon!" She sticks out her pail, fragile hand for me to shake.
"I'm James! Nice to meet you!" I give her a warm smile. We continue talking the entire way to California. I tell her about my life and she tells me about hers. And how she was coming back to California after being in New York to see her grandchildren.

When we get off the plane I bid her goodbye with a warm hug and we part ways.

I grab my luggage and call a taxi. About 30 minutes later and we pull up to my parents large estate home. The flowers and shrubbery still the same. I grab my things from the car and walk up to the large wooden door. I ring the bell. Within seconds my mother opens it and greats me with a large smile. She pulls me into a hug which I melt into.
"I've missed you so much mom!" I sigh still hugging her in the doorway.
"I've missed you too honey..." She says through a silent sob. We stand like that for a good solid 4 minutes until she pulls away.
"Well come on! Let's get you inside!"
She says pulling me into the large foyer.
"You can stay in your old room which is now a guest bedroom! So take your things and meet me in the family room if you would please!" She smiles at me with the same motherly smile I received as a child.

I drag my things up the large staircase and make my way down the hallway. I open up my old door and see the walls have been changed to a light grey. There are no longer Star Wars posters on the walls or action figures spread across every shelf. There are paintings of flowers and inspirational quotes and cute decorations on the shelving instead.

I set my bags near the closet and walk back downstairs. I make it to the family room and see my mother sitting in her burgundy colored chair. I remember sitting on her lap as a kid and listening to stories. I sat down on the love seat.
"James," she says causing tension in the air.
"Your father is in the hospital and will most likely be for a while.... The doctors don't think he will make it much longer...." She hides her face, but I can tell she is crying. I get up and wrap my arms around her and hold her tight.

"It's alright mom! Everything is going to be alright," I whisper to her knowing well enough things obviously are not going to be alright...

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OK I LIED!!! NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE WORSE!! OR MAYBE IT WILL JUST PISS YOU OFF EITHER WAY IM SORRY!!!

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Love- Destiny❤️❤️❤️