OFF-LIMITS

21.

Damien's face falls and his jaw tightens, but he doesn't utter another word, instead, he leans to his girlfriend and plants a kiss on her cheek, she pushes him slightly, and for a moment I think she feels uncomfortable but then she smiles at us and leaves, his eyes stay on her until she disappears out of our sight, and I think maybe, maybe this girl isn't so different from me after all.

✿ ✿ ✿

"So? Can you explain everything to me now?" I ask raising a brow as I take a sip from my coffee, it's early, very early actually, for some reason my body decided that it'd be a good idea to wake up at four in the morning, but surprisingly, Adrian was awake, he narrows his eyes, "are you even awake?" He cocks his head and I groan.

"I'm! I'm very concentrated too!" I say, raising my brows and he smiles, looking amused, "this isn't funny, I'm being serious." I say and he tries to bite back his smile but fails, I rub a hand over my face and look up at him again, "please just tell me I need to know—I -I feel like I'm the only one who's lost here, they all understood what you were discussing, except me." I say, letting out a breath, and his brows furrow.

"I'd never think about it in that way." He says, his eyes hard as they clash with mine, "I do, I think—everyone thought about it like that, didn't you see what Damien said?" I mutter under my breath and I feel warmth forming in my eyes, god, I wipe away my tears, I feel it as he walks towards me, and brushes his thumb across my cheek, "why are you crying?" He whispers, his voice softening.

"I'm crying because I'm mad!" I yell, more tears forming in my eyes, I've always hated this about me, crying because I'm mad, no one gets it unless you actually have the same problem, they just think that you're hurt or in pain, he pulls me closer and caresses my back, "I know that it isn't a big of a deal to you, but it's to me." I mumble into his hard chest, sniffing as more tears fall.

"It's okay, I—didn't know." He whispers and pulls away, both his hands holding my face, his eyes on mine, fire caught up in them, "I just—I don't like feeling like I don't belong, or that—I'm left out, and I've always felt that way, but I know that people don't realize it because maybe they don't mean it, but it hurts, so much." I whisper softly, not knowing where the hell all those words came from.

I never confessed those feelings out loud, and it kinda feels good to do so, he pulls me In his arms again and kisses my temple, his warmth drowning me, "I'll tell you sweetheart, but—promise me something." He says and I pull back, my brows furrowing, "what?" I ask, "don't. Leave." He whispers, the two words coming out desperate.

I nod because I know that I won't, I don't think I can, I don't understand whatever the hell is between us, but I know that I wouldn't leave him, "so—it all started with my dear father." He says pulling my attention to him, it's the first time he ever mentions him, and it catches me off guard, "he married my mother without telling her anything about his origins, or his true life." He says and I nod, not interrupting him.

"He was in the Russian mafia." He says calmly making the room's temperature drop ten degrees, I knew that it was involved but I just didn't know how close Adrian is to it, he clears his throat a little then goes on, "he was their pakhan, their boss." He says and rubs his jaw, the muscles in his face locking, "so after he died, they knew that he had heirs." He continues.

"They've been searching for us, since a year ago—it's getting harder not to be noticed by them, especially since they plant people—or whether spies, every-fucking-where." He says shaking his head, my hands shake a little but I fist them, Adrian keeps staring at the ground with his brows furrowed as if he's remembering something, "the Italians are their rivals, you know—blood for blood and shit." He says and my muscles lock together, shivers running down my spine.

"So they've been after us, they're not as good as the Russians at this but the problem was that we didn't see them coming." He says and runs a hand across his hair messing it up, the thick strands hanging on his face, "they want to kill us, so they'd kill the bratva's future Pakhan." He says, "whoever it's, me or Damien, they don't really care." He says and I nod, swallowing down the knot in my throat.

Tears form in my eyes, threatening to fall, he leans closer, looking up at me, his gaze softening, and my heart pounds painfully in my chest, the more I stare at him, he brushes away my tears and I lean closer in his touch, "are you scared—of me?" He asks, swallowing hard, as he pulls his hand away, his expression makes him seem as if he's in pain.

I quickly shake my head, "no." I say and he visibly relaxes, "good, because you shouldn't be, I'd never hurt you." He whispers and I smile tightly because I know, I know that he's wrong, Adrian was going to hurt me, just not in the way he expected, I knew it would happen eventually,
We were two people from two different worlds.
We were a mistake that was never meant to happen, well, Even if we were meant to happen, we would never get our happy ending, this was it.
Just that.
And I slept that night with tears in my eyes because I knew
I just knew that I was falling for a man who I could never be with.

A vote is really appreciated 🫶🫶