✓Morals | BSD Fanfiction | Dazai X Oc

Chapter 8

【Chapter 8 : Goals】

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Nyx was swift and stealthy, hands still gently holding her ribs which were in agony but it wasn't something that hindered her too much. She hurried down the long hall, peeking through doors and crouching down when a corner presented itself to her, the IV had interfered with her sense to think clearly, and she couldn't use her ability, attempting to heal herself may have the opposite effect as she'd never tried healing herself before. It was never complete. She didn't like her ability. Knowing this, had Nyx eventually come into contact with an enemy, or a Guild member in her attempt to find Atsushi, she wouldn't stand a chance. She had to use stealth.

She halted. Back against the wall as she peeked out behind the wall. She held her breath, tearing up at the pressure in her lungs, and pulled her head back. Her eyes, beyond the hazy darkness and the few glimmers of light reflecting in the metal pipes, had spotted a red-headed lady, short, a long flowy dress. She closed her eyes tightly as her right leg shook, a physical reaction that had randomly started to happen in tense situations. She listened, silently, tuning into the mumbling between her and an unknown figure who was held behind bars.

"Please you have to let me out!" Atsushi's desperate voice cried, his hands clinging to the jail cell bars on the door. Just from his voice alone, Nyx could only imagine the look on his face. His eyes scrunching, the glints of hope and defeat existing in his eyes simultaneously, his lips slightly parted while his teeth gritted out of frustration. He was begging. While Nyx was knocked out something bad must've happened.

The redhead had a smug look that painted her face, a smirk with her head slightly tilted back in a surge of useless confidence, "I hate self-entitled people like you,"

"Huh?"

"Don't act clueless!" she screeched, a flare of anger lighting up from within her. She talked about washing dishes until her fingers bled, being tortured by a hot iron poker. She spoke about how Atsushi hadn't a clue about the pain and horror she'd been through. That he wouldn't know anything about what the lady had been through to get her scars, she had built up a lot of frustration out of people saying they understood the pain she'd been through, but anyone could say they understood. They never meant it. Nyx frowned, she hadn't suffered the same way the young lady had, there was no orphanage, and there was no torture. But there was starvation, there was dehydration, there was infection and disease, viruses, there was hypothermia, there was the cult that wiped out the lives of all her friends and both her parents. There was the isolation and the loneliness, there were the beatings she took when she was caught stealing food.

The different forms of trauma still resulted in their own pain. The feeling of being misunderstood, being cast aside as useless or unimportant, being used. The feeling that you were in a constant, never-ending battle; you versus the entire world. Nyx's hands clenched into fists, her broken and cracked nails digging misshapen crescent moons into the palms of her hands. She swallowed her unease and moved closer to the edge of the wall as she watched, intrigued by their conversation.

"But I do know... The first day is the worst," Atsushi went on to say. Just as the lady had ranted about her pain, Atsushi spoke about his. Nyx could see movement from behind his cell door, the white shirt he wore lifting up, presumably to reveal scars, "The isolation is a curse, but it can't haunt us forever, not unless we allow it. We can break free, but we have to be willing to put the effort in rather than wallowing in self-pity,"

'Self Pity...' Nyx thought to herself, or so she thought. It was loud enough to gain the attention of Atsushi and the red-haired lady. The unknown third voice caught Atsushi's attention and made the lady gasp in surprise, Nyx shook her head and edged herself just around the corner, only by a few steps. She spoke knowingly, "In moderate amounts, it's valid, too much and it becomes selfish,"