PROLOGUE ., A reason to live;

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"but i chose this..." she said with her eyes wide with a look of hatred towards her husband, which contradicted with her gentle demeanour. She leaned back and push her palm towards her chest, as to assure herself of this hatred.

"my brother told me to make this marriage passionless, but i couldn't do it."

Clenching his sword, Izek questioned, "what are you talking about?"

"I was the one who killed your sister," admitted Rudbeckia with a smirk, pressing her blood stained fingers over Izek's chest.

.
.
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"At least let me spend my last moment as your wife" she pleaded, with tears in her eyes.

"I was ready to do anything for you" an unexpected sorrowful expression washed over his face.

"i'm sorry, i guess i've spent my whole life trying to test you, to see if you were truly on my side... this is the final wish of someone who is broken beyond repair, so stop hesitating"
"I love you"

Those were the last words she muttered as Izek unwillingly pushed his sharp blade through her dainty neck, tears falling from both of their eyes. Rudbeckia closed her eyes peacefully as a bright light embraced her, almost welcoming her to the afterlife.

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.
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Slowly, her eyes opened and she saw a familiar ceiling. She was laying on a familiar bed, covered by a familiar blanket, in a familiar room. Confused, she lifted herself up with her thin arm and gazed into the mirror beside her. She touched her frail face, recalling the past events. The lady was certain she had passed the night before, and yet she was here, lying on her bed the day of her 17th birthday. Confusion, anxiety, guilt. Those were the feelings she was experiencing right now. Mostly guilt. She was feeling guilty, having left her husband alone to burn in the fiery depths of Romagna, that she had caused.

She gradually pulled herself together, thinking of what Izek had done after taking her neck, what he had done after learning all the truths she had kept from him.
Before causing the fire, Rudbeckia had dreamt of a peaceful life with her husband, somewhere away from war, away from their noble responsibilities, but most importantly, away from her brother. Cardinal Cesare De Borgia. A hateful man, who was indescribably disgusting. And also, the cause of her unhappiness and tragic end.
Peering at her younger self in the mirror, Rudbeckia glanced towards the door of her room, waiting for her maid to come attend to her - she had adapted to the current situation quite fast and was pondering on what to do with her current life. Just as she had anticipated, two gentle knocks came from the door.
"Lady, the Pope is summoning you for luncheon in the greenhouse."
"Luncheon..?" She asked puzzled, "What is the time right now?"
Although her mind had adapted to this unexpected reincarnation, she was still very much so unaware of her surroundings.
"It is noon right now my lady, it seems you have strained yourself yesterday evening as you have awoken later than usual"
Upon hearing her maids words, Rudbeckia's upper back started to sting. No, it was more than a sting. It had started to ache, as she fell to her knees in excruciating pain.
Hurriedly, she shouted out, "what is the date?"
"It is the 23rd day of the 7th month, year 1491 my lady." replied the maid.
Rudbeckia touched the gnashes on her back and recalled that day. She was no longer questioning why her back was in pain. She remembered very well. That day. The day where the Cardinal whipped her more and harder than usual. She had no idea why he was angry to that extent. Not that he ever had a plausible reason to beat her. Although it happened quite often, that day was quite memorable for her, as usually he'd stop after a subsequent amount of pleading, that time he did not. Thinking to the date the maid had announced, she deduced that the most recent beating took place the day before, which was why her back was hit by a sudden wave of pain - the cardinal had not stopped whipping her until she passed out.
After thinking about it for some time, she looked back at the door and allowed the maid in.
"We are quite behind on schedule my lady, please allow me to dress you in a more simple attire"
She agreed as the maid, 'karin' took care of her wounds and threw a dress over her pale body.
Karin led her through the hallways and into the greenhouse, where she saw the pope, sitting there with his wife. He 'warmly' gestured her over, in which she obeyed, walking past the well groomed bushes and trees surrounding the table. Suddenly, her eyes widened with pure disgust as she saw the person next to the couple. It was Cesare. Recalling all the last events of last night, Rudbeckia could hardly stop herself from vomiting on the spot, however, she restrained herself as to avoid another beating. Naturally, she put on her mask. Her gentle, angel like mask that shields her from her family's hatred. A wide smile appeared on her face as she greeted her 'family'.
"Good afternoon, father, mother, and brothers!" she said, holding back her hatred. Cesare stared at her with a sinister look in his eyes and greeted her back. She looked around for her seat as her eyes met her apologetic brother's. Enzo. She could not fathom why he had this look, until she counted the chairs. Four chairs. None for her. Cesare then slightly leaned back in his with a horrifying smile as he opened his arms. Rudbeckia was disgusted at his suggestion, but then again she was used to this sort of treatment. Unwillingly, she approached him and sat. They had their lunch, discussing the current topic of her marriage with the duke of the Rembrandt kingdom. She knew he would be made into a laughingstock later on in life for his erectile dysfunction, however, she did not warn her family. She was happy she could cause harm to their reputation, even if it was a little.
Lost in the fake laughters of this nauseating place, she felt a hand on her head. It was the cardinal's. She was instantly overwhelmed by a feeling of fear as flashbacks of him raising the same hand at her flooded her mind. Cold sweat ran down her wounded back as he pressed his lips against her forehead. She sheepishly smiled as she determined her reason. Her reason to live. She sought revenge.

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 02, 2023 ⏰

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