Imperfect

Three - Alyssa

I woke up the next morning to a light tapping sound against my bedroom door. The storm outside had cleared and through the crack in my curtains, I could see the sun was shining. The light reflected off the waterdrops on the window, creating a dazzling kaleidoscope of light across my ceiling.

Again, a knock sounded and I groaned. "One minute," I called.

I rolled onto my back and stretched, feeling my spine decompress after another night of being curled up in a tight little ball beneath the covers. It was the only way I could get any sleep. The alarm clock on the bedside table beside me read eight in the morning and I knew that soon, breakfast would be served downstairs.

Once I'd completely stretched out, I tossed the covers off me and reached for the slip dress draped over the chair pulled up to my dressing table. I could no longer sleep unless I was naked, the feeling of clothes against my skin feeling like I was being smothered. It was too claustrophobic. When I was covered, I turned to the door. "Come in," I called.

Hailey entered a moment later, a sleepy smile on her face. "Morning," she said softly, shuffling towards my bed and flopping down on it. She used to stay in my room when she'd sleep over but the last time she did, I felt like I couldn't breathe and my whole body had been submerged in panic, shaking and sweating just at the proximity.

"Sorry you had to sleep in the spare bedroom," I told her, dropping onto the bed beside her and switching on my tv.

Her smile was warm and understanding. "No worries, that bed's just as comfy as yours, I was asleep in minutes."

"Good." I smiled and we settled to watch tv for a little while before her phone lit up with a message. "What time do you have to leave?" I asked her.

She responded to the text before turning to me. "An hour," she muttered. "Mind if I have some breakfast first?"

"Of course," I told her. She knew she was always welcome and we always had plenty of space and food for whenever she stayed. "Camilla is probably preparing it now. E would have told her you're here."

She smiled before standing to rummage through her bags. She started pulling out her outfit for the day while I moved to my closet to do the same. It was huge, the same size of my ensuite bathroom, if not bigger. And it needed to be for the number of dresses and shoes and accessories I had. I grabbed a dress, one my mother had bought me not too long ago, and paired it with a pair of my favourite heels.

I laid the clothes on the bed and moved towards the bathroom first, cringing when I switched the light on to reveal the mess. The counters were hidden beneath a mass of bottles of nail polish, makeup, skin-care and facemasks. It was our tradition to get together whenever we could and sneak bottles of champagne past my brother, watch cheesy romance movies and spend the night pampering ourselves and ordering thousands of dollars' worth of clothes.

I walked past the mess and entered the huge walk-in shower. It sat on the far side of the bathroom and was made entirely of glass, with the back wall overlooking the entire skyline of Manhattan. The glass was tinted so nobody could see in but I had a perfect view of my favourite city.

I scrubbed at my skin until it felt raw with all my favourite products and then washed them all away with scorching hot water. Another new habit I'd picked up over the last month. I could no longer shower unless it hurt, no longer felt clean unless my skin was sore from being scrubbed away and exposed to boiling water.

When I stepped out, I wrapped myself in my huge fluffy towel and dried off, dabbing at my wet hair a little before sliding into an even softer, fluffier robe. I left the bathroom to see Hailey fully dressed, her hair neatly pinned back, her dress a soft blue colour and her white heels identical to a pair of my own.