Lose Your Mind-A Dallas Winston Fanfiction

Broken Hallelujah

Grief is not always as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you.-Veronica Roth, Insurgent.

I woke up in the hospital chair, my neck so stiff I could barely move. Two-Bit was snoring in the mint chair beside me and everyone else had disappeared. I debated whether I should leave the room or not, but after I heard Soda's heart rate monitor beating steadily I slipped out.

The halls were quiet, not yet disturbed by the emergencies of the morning. A young boy in a wheelchair was rolling down the tile floor, giggling alongside a boy who I could only guess to be his brother, twin even. They both had light auburn hair that fell over their smiling faces in loose curls. I watched as the one boy in the wheelchair slowed down, shaking his arms, a sign of tiredness I assumed. He looked new to the device, bumping into a bed in the hall. I wondered what had happened to him, if it was an accident or something else. I felt like I was invading into the brothers personal moment. The one was encouraging his brother to continue on, cheering him on. The tired boy gave smile and then continued pushing with his thin, but determined arms. It was the bond between a brother that kept him going.

That was when it hit me. Brothers have fierce bonds, not ones often broken. They look out for each other, no matter what. That's how I figured out who shot Curly. It wasn't some random hood with a gun that night. It was Mark's brother. It was Bryon.

I walked over to the nurses station, "Hi, I was just wondering if you've seen a boy about my age. He's got dark hair and brown eyes."

She raised a heavy brow at me, "Was he wearing a leather jacket?"

"That's him."

I swear she almost rolled her emerald eyes at me. Dallas had quite the reputation at the hospital. He was always showing up there, needing to get something stitched up and he would mouth off to the nurses the whole time. And then on top of it all, he would slip out without ever signing out. It drove the nurses mad, I was sure. He had no reason to be so rude, he just was.

"He went towards the entrance about half an hour or so ago. Went with a bunch of other boys."

"Thank you." I turned to leave but paused, "Sorry about him."

She simply pursed her lips at me, and I took that as my cue to go. I rushed towards the door, having the unfortunate time of nearly flipping myself when I caught my leg on a chair. I huffed a sorry to the startled patients and continued on my way. I spotted Darry and Pony sitting on the curb alone.

"Have ya'll seen Dally?"

"Took off a lil' while ago. Wouldn't say where he was going."

He must of figured it out too. Our minds are so similar it didn't surprise me. I was about to start walking to Bryon's when Darry called out, "Hey, look Ice. I know I ain't your dad or nothing, but are you sure you want to go running after him? I don't need you in trouble too. You know, with Soda in the hospital and all."

It hit me then that he considered me to be a younger sister. He saw me the same way he saw Pony and Soda. I don't know why, but the thought startled me, scared me even. I never meant to be a burden on his shoulders.

"Don't worry, Dar. I'll be careful." I wanted to give him a hug, but I figured he would only shove me away.

I made my way over to Bryon's, getting lost along the way but gettting there somehow. A few Kaiser Manhattans revved their engines at me, but other than that I was left alone.

I knocked at Bryon's door, noting the chipping red paint.

"I was wondering when you would figure it out." Dallas grinned when he opened the door.

He pulled me in and locked the door behind him, the deadbolt clicking. I figured Bryon woud have some enemies from now on. He was sitting in his recliner, smoking a cancer stick. He was looking awfully sick, his skin all pale and yellow.

"It's a riot that both you and Dal here figured it out." He slurred his speech, obviously an affect of the bottle he had beside him.

Neither Dallas or I seemed to find it funny.

"You sure got yourself in a load of trouble here, Bryon. Now may not be the best time for jokes." Dallas lit his own cigarette.

"I ain't worried about it." Bryon gave a wave of his hand, blowing away the smoke that was gathering in front of his eyes.

He didn't seem all there, sitting there. I felt like I should have said something to him. I wondered if I should have considered him family since Mark once did.

"You're thinking about him, ain't you?" His attention turned from Dallas and to me. 

I looked away. It still hurt where Mark was. The wound was starting to heal, but as soon as someone mentioned him it was like it got ripped right open again.

"You know, I think I hate him when I think about him. I mean, really. I didn't see it 'til just now." He let out an empty laugh, "He wasn't a good kid. He nearly killed me, and hell what about you? You know he was just using you as a drug dealer."

I took a step away from Bryon. I was there to help him out of trouble, but at that moment I didn't give a toss about what happened to him. I loved Mark more than anything, and if I would have believed he didn't love me back it would have drove me mad.

"Don't talk about Mark like that." I snapped at him.

"What the hell do you even know about it?" He stood up, nearly falling over, "You barely knew him! You just showed up one day and decided that he was your brother? That ain't make him your brother." He pointed an accusatory finger at me, "I was there when you weren't. When his parents got killed, I was the one who took care of him and I didn't get anything in return for it!"

"He was my brother." There were tears in my eyes at his cruel words.

"You were nothing but a drug mule to him and if you can't see that, you're even stupider than I thought."

I turned to leave, "We came here to help you!"

Bryon gave a broken laugh, "I ain't need your help."

I shook my head at him, anger overwhelming me, "Tim is going to get you."

He threw the empty bottle sitting beside his chair right at my head, and I ducked just in time. The glass shattered and fell around me.

"What's the worst they can do? Kill me?" He shouted at us.

Dallas stood and walked beside me. His calmness surprised me. Normally an outburst like that would have sent him into a blind rage.

He gave me a light kiss on the forehead then turned back to Bryon, "I hope so. Or I will."