𝘿𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙒𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙨

➄︎Chapter Five➄︎

'Wow.'

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Saiki lay on his bed, covering his face and catching his breath. As soon as he left the cafe, he teleported home. He didn't know what that feeling was, it seemed like he was dying, but he wasn't.

It was midnight now, plenty of hours after hanging out with Toritsuka. Saiki sat up and rubbed the side of his head. Maybe he just needed to drink water, it has been a long time since he last drank it.

Saiki stood up and went downstairs to the dark kitchen, grabbing a cup and filling it with tap water. He took a big gulp and put the cup down. He felt dizzy and his stomach churned. 'I think I'm sick...' But Saiki didn't feel how he felt when he was sick, this was different.

Saiki skipped through all the things that could be going on with him, and then he found something.

Love. He heard from his parents that whenever they're with each other, that they feel tingly and feel like passing out, and they call that love. Saiki thought they were just too excited, and that it wasn't love, but now he was questioning it.

Saiki needed to do some research.

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After Saiki had spent hours looking through articles about love, he realized he had all the symptoms for it. Saiki was confused, he never felt love before, why suddenly now? And why whenever he was around Toritsuka?

Then it hit him, was Saiki in love with Toritsuka? No, he couldn't be in love with him. That pervert is one of the people he hates the most, but recently he has been acting different. Saiki shook his head. Even if he was in love with Toritsuka, why now? Why couldn't he feel love to anyone else before?

Saiki then remembered something he once saw that had something to do with the Aromantic spectrum. Demi-romantic. Only being able to develop romantic feelings for someone once you have an emotional bond with them. Was that it? Did Saiki and Toritsuka have an emotional bond? No it can't be...but Toritsuka has been caring about Saiki's mental health lately and it's been making him feel strange.

"Oh my god." Saiki just realized he was actually in love with Toritsuka. He was Demi-romantic, and in love with Toritsuka.

'Motherfucker.' Saiki fell down onto his bed and closed his eyes. He felt...angry at himself that he was in love with Toritsuka.

'...Wasn't there another Demi thing? Demi-sexual? I think that's just Demi-romantic, but with sex.' Saiki thought. Okay, there was no way he felt sexual feelings for Toritsuka...but he decided to do a test.

Saiki imagined him and Toritsuka. They were in his room, sitting in silence. He sat on the edge of his bed and Toritsuka sat in his desk chair. Toritsuka stared at Saiki, and smirked. Without saying anything, he stood up and passionately kissed the pink haired boy...and he kissed back. Toritsuka suddenly started kissing Saiki with tongue, and pinned him down to his bed. They separated lips and Toritsuka whispered into Saiki's ear, "Let's have some fun.", and bit it right after.

Saiki shot his eyes open and quickly sat up. He felt something...something down below. He looked down...and he had a boner. Saiki widened his eyes. 'Shit. I'm Demi-sexual too.'

Saiki couldn't believe it. He liked Toritsuka. He loved Toritsuka. He didn't want to, but he did. Saiki sighed, "No, no, I'm not in love. I am NOT in love." He repeated that to himself over and over.

Suddenly, tears started falling out of his eyes. Saiki didn't want to be in love, especially with Toritsuka. Toritsuka was straight anyways, Saiki just loved a straight man, who would never love him back. It was pointless, why did he fall in love? He didn't know. He wish he did.

Saiki quietly cried. "Good grief. This is horrible."

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Saiki hurt himself again. Not as bad as the last time, but he did it again. He was confused about his feelings, he didn't want to be confused. So he hurt himself to take his mind off his feelings, it didn't work.

Saiki had a sad smile across his face as he sat on the bathroom floor, a puddle of blood and tears surrounding him. 'Life is so cruel.' He laughed in his mind.

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Hours went by, it was now 10:00 AM. Saiki was watching TV in his room, thinking. 'I guess I'm Demi-romantic and Demi-sexual. And I'll just say I'm Pansexual too because if I wasn't in love with Toritsuka I wouldn't mind whatever gender I was in love with.' Saiki took a sip of a cup of coffee in his hands. 'Why couldn't everything stay the same?' He questioned.

Saiki couldn't face Toritsuka now after this. He had to avoid him, and prayed that it would be easy to.

Hi there! Terribly sorry that this chapter is short, I had writer's block for a bit, but the next chapter should be longer!