In which an idiot meets another idiot
Or
In which Mista fights alongside his future wife
Mista x Fem!Reader
THIS IS DEFINITELY PART CRACKFIC
Disclaimer: I do not own the plot or the characters. I only own Y/n and certain plot points
Started: 03/12/2...
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We had arrived to our destination, which was Sardinia
"We're finally here" I said
"And none of us are dead" Mista said. We both high fived happily
"Yeah, we're all actually still alive" Narancia said
"It's thanks to Giorno" Fugo said
"Actually technically, all of you are still alive thanks to Trish" Bucciarati said causing the girl to become flustered
"How cool" I said. Narancia sent our Aerosmith to survey the area. We were all on the beach. Trish got into the turtle, and the rest of us except for Bucciarati, Abbacchio, and Narancia followed
"So, anyone wanna play UNO?" I asked
"I'm up for it" Mista said
"I'll play as well" Giorno said
"Which means Fugo and Trish will also play. Great" I said
"I didn't even say ye-" Fugo was cut off
"You don't have to. I know" I said
"So, how's life?" Mista asked everyone
"Oh, just great. My sperm donor wants to murder me" Trish said sarcastically
"I got my arms back" Giorno said
"I have no wounds" Mista said
"I think I'm regretting my decision" Fugo said
"My life is great. I'm not dead yet so that's a plus" I said
"Good job" Mista said
"Thank you, thank you very much" I said
"Hey, do you guys remember that time Narancia was able to do 12 x 3?" Fugo asked
"No?" I asked
"That's because it never fucking happened" Fugo said
"Damn" Mista said
"That's a K.O. right there" I said. Mista nodded in agreement
"Poor Narancia" Trish said
"You pick on him too much" Giorno said
"That's because I have to teach him atleast 20 times before he gets even remotely close" Fugo said
"Okay, well I just want everyone to know.. I'm the favorite" I said
"You are definitely not the favorite because I am!" Mista yelled
"No, the favorite is definitely Y/n" Fugo said
"Why are you backing her up?! What about bro code? Bros before hoes?! Remember?! Huh?!" Mista asked
"Did he just call you a hoe?" Trish asked as Giorno covered his mouth in shock. I looked at Mista
"Did you just call me a hoe?" I asked
"Mista is not a feminist, clearly" Fugo said crossing his arms
"I'm a feminist! I love women! I am pro women!" Mista yelled
"Then why did you call me a hoe?" I asked as I raised my eyebrow. He began to sweatdrop
"I wasn't calling you a hoe.. it was a figure of speech. I would never call a woman a hoe because they are all so amazing" Mista said with an awkward smile
"I say we beat his ass" Trish said
"No, we can't" I said
"Why not?" Trish asked
"He's into that kind of shit" I said
"Wait how did you- I mean, no I'm not!" Mista yelled embarrassed
"Abba told me everything" I said
"That purple haired fuck! I'm gonna melt all of his lipstick!" Mista cried
"What did the lipstick ever do to you?" Trish asked
"It was owned by Abbacchio" Mista said as a tear rolled down his face
"So, um, nice weather we're having" Giorno said
"I hate small talk" Fugo said. Then there was silence
"Great chat.. guys" Giorno said as he sucked his lips in. I don't actually know how to describe it but think of when two white people wave at each other with the awkward no lip smile. That's what I'm talking about
"So, everyone's opinion on the color blue.. how do we feel about that color?" I asked
"It's a pretty color. Baby blue especially" Trish said
"I'm more of a pink kind of guy" Giorno said
"That's obviously" Trish muttered
"Blue is the way to go, baby" Mista said with a smirk
"Not with your ugly ass clothes" Fugo said causing Mista to choke on air
"Bitch, have you taken a look in the mirror? First of all, your patterns clash, second of all you look like the American flag with that color palette and third you smell like shit.. so" Fugo said
"Damn.. who hurt him.." I muttered. Mista pulled out his gun
"Alright.. I know you did not just compare my outfit to the American flag. I can't let this one slide" Mista said as he began to load his gun. The Sex Pistols appeared
"You're gonna have to die for this one" Mista said
"Bring it on you dirty fuck" Fugo said
"Damn" I said as I watched the two fight like bears.. but then, it got even weirder. See suddenly, Freddy Fazbear appeared and began singing
"Freddy Fazbear? What are you doing here?" I asked
"I'm here to sing. Or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or or" Freddy sang
"Good song" I said
"Hey! Hey! Wake up!" Someone yelled
"Bitch do I look like I'm sleeping?!" I yelled
"Y/n! We're in Sardinia! Wake your ass up!" A voice yelled. Suddenly my eyes opened and I saw Narancia
"Oh hi Narancia" I said
"God, I thought you were never gonna wake up" Narancia said
(849 words) 11/09/22
It's a short chapter, sorry butI have an important question to ask
Would you rather Abbacchio or Fugo live. The next chapter will kill one of the two off so I'm feeling generous and letting you pick who you want to live
