45 Days With You ✓ (Stand-alone)

Chapter 17

45 Days With You

#May isang linggo nalang siya

"Why are you doing this? Do you think this way can make your problem solve? Do you think that if you're doing this you can live your life? Do you think you couldn't hurt us? Me? Your family?" Taymer asked me.

I didn't move and unable to restrict my way to escape my heart fall. He seemed so hurt and I knew the reason why he's doing this to me.

"Y-You're good at this, Laspiranza. You hurt me? Then proceed. Pero itong ginagawa mo? Hindi ito mapwede sa akin," he added.

How could I avoid this feeling if I know that he's here for me?

Mahal niya ako.

He love me more than I do.

"I. . . l-love y-you for no reason, Laspiranza. Pero nasasaktan na ako sa mga pinaggagawa mo sa sarili mo. I did my best to encouraged you more. . . I did my very best to felt you that you're not alone in this battle but, you couldn't find my effort for that. . . 'cause you only feel that there's nothing else to be with you either yourself. Pero hindi mo ba iniisip na nandito naman ako? I'm here in your lowest point, I'm willing to wait for your recovery and find the better you, but, you're ready to accept it. I'm being honest to you, Laspiranza Mabinay hindi ganito ang pagpapakilala ko sa iyo," mahabang sabi niya ngunit ramdam ko iyong hinanakit sa tinig niya.

No!

Pinapagod ko na siya. Instead of confronting him because he's dealing with some difficulties, ganito pa iyong pinaggagawa ko.

I felt sorry for that, pero iyong kagustuhan ko ay hindi tugma sa gusto niyang mangyari sa akin.

Sinubukan ko naman pero hindi kaya ng kondisyon ko, nakakasakit na ako ng tao.

Kung ganito lang rin naman sana ay hindi ko nalang siya nakilala. Ngayon nagsisisi na ako kung bakit ko pa siya nakilala kung gayon sasaktan ko rin naman ang mga taong nandito para sa akin. Na iiwanan ko rin sila sa huli.

This is the better way to finish my life, hindi sa pagkakamatay kundi ang pagkakaroon ng pagkakataon para patunayan na, I'll be better, I'll be good and I'll be able to live my life carefree.

Pero hindi naaayon ang tadhana sa gusto kung mangyari. Hindi rin naaayon ang katawan ko na ulit-ulitin ang isang pagkakataon na ayaw nang subukin ng panahon.

I felt that he loosen the hold in my wrist. And that time I know that he's going to give up, he's getting his way to lose hope. He's going to tie the rope binded in me.

I look at him with my all force. Pero sa pagtama palang ng tingin namin, naramdaman ko na. . . hindi tama ang pinaggagawa ko.

He didn't deserve me and I do both.

A tear escape from my eyes, and form into sobbing. Palihim akong umiiyak nang walang tinig habang tumitingin sa mga mata niya na wala nang kabuhay-buhay.

"G-Go!" I said yearning my life for this time. I don't want to hurt him like I did right now. Masyado lang komplikado kung sa ganitong sitwasyon ko pa siya sasaktan.

"Y-You d-don't e-even deserve to know me!" mahina kung sabi pero buo sa puso ko.

Ramdam na raman ko iyong pagkawala ng tinig ko. Rinig na rinig ko iyong pagkabog ng puso ko na kahit anong pilit kung pahintuin ay hindi ako sinisuyo ng tadhana para magtugma.

"H-Hindi mo alam ang rason k-ko, you didn't even know me well. H-Hindi mo pa ako kilala, Taymer you're just like a hurricane to me, dumaan ka lang naman. . ." Saad ko.