Warnings: Smoking, Death, Drug Usage, Overdosing
Notes: This is a songfic based on Am Tag, als Conny Kramer starb by Juliane Werding. The translations will be put in the comments.
Wir lagen träumend im Gras
Die Köpfe voll verrückter Ideen
Da sagte er nur zum Spaß
Komm lass uns auf die Reise gehen.
The sun was shining, casting long beams across Colorado's face as he and I sat in the brushy yard of the Statehouse. He looked calm and totally at peace- not unusual for him, but this time there was something in his eyes. A mischievous glint, almost prideful.
"What is it? You've got a look in your eyes, like you've done something you're proud of." He looks at me, quirks his lip slightly, and pulls out a cigarette.
Doch der Rauch schmeckte bitter
Aber Conny sagte mir was er sah
Ein Meer von Licht und Farben
Wir ahnten nicht, was bald darauf geschah.
He took a long draw from it, not really smiling now. He looked slightly morose.
"Why?" I practically shriek at him. With the strip and all, I'm pretty used to the taint of drugs, but it never gets easier to see.
"It's a funny feeling. It makes me feel calm." I watch him earnestly as he takes another breath, and shake my head.
Am Tag, als Conny Kramer starb und alle Glocken klangen
Am Tag, als Conny Kramer starb und alle Freunde weinten um ihn
Das war ein schwerer Tag, weil in mir eine Welt zerbrach.
That day was six months ago, and now the other states and I are gathered together, all of the usual cheer gone. Bells toll in the steeple above us, their mourning peals ringing out across the city. A casket, crafted of pale marble and glimmering in dozens of different colors as light filters through the stained glass windows, sits on the dais in front of us. There is no preacher, no staff- only us.
Er versprach oft, ich lass es sein
Das gab mir wieder neuen Mut
Und ich redete mir ein
Mit Liebe wird alles gut
Doch aus den Joints da wurden Trips
Es gab keinen Halt auf der schiefen Bahn
Die Leute fingen an zu reden
Aber keiner bot Conny Hilfe an.
He told me he would quit- he never did. It was like he couldn't hear me. For a while it seemed like things got better- he'd lay off the cigs for a few days, trying, but in the end, they always came back. It was difficult to watch.
After a few weeks of this, I broke down. Cali found me sobbing one morning in the living room. After a while I told them about what was happening. Word somehow got around, but nobody apart from Cali, Gov, and I ever tried to help. They just talked and stared.
Am Tag, als Conny Kramer starb und alle Glocken klangen
Am Tag, als Conny Kramer starb und alle Freunde weinten um ihn
Das war ein schwerer Tag, weil in mir eine Welt zerbrach
I stood up from the cold wooden pew and made my way towards the casket. As I went, several states mumbled their condolences, thinking it would help. It didn't. I got to the front, trying to think of something to say. As I thought back through my memories with Coco, I decided to focus on the days before he began to spiral. As I began my retelling, I glanced down into the casket. His face was emotionless, arranged into an artificial expression of peace. His real face looked nothing like the Coco I remembered, high or not, and my eyes began to fill with tears. For each one, a memory fell into my head, happy and bittersweet feelings swirling together in a strange dance. I stuttered into silence, too distracted to go on.
Beim letzten Mal sagte er
Nun kann ich den Himmel sehen
Ich schrie ihn an, oh komm zurück
Er konnte es nicht mehr verstehen
Ich hatte nicht einmal mehr Tränen
Ich hatte alles verloren, was ich hab
Das Leben geht einfach weiter
Mir bleiben nur noch die Blumen auf seinem Grab.
He was there one day, gone the next. Gov was the one who found him, passed out on the back porch, a still smoldering cigarette in his ash covered hand. Gov immediately rushed him to the hospital. Eight hours later, we got the news.
After the funeral, we planned to bury him out back. I had already bought two rosebushes to plant by it.
Am Tag, als Conny Kramer starb und alle Glocken klangen
Am Tag, als Conny Kramer starb und alle Freunde weinten um ihn
Das war ein schwerer Tag, weil in mir eine Welt zerbrach.
"Nevada?" Someone was standing by me. Judging by the ever-present blue tie, it was Gov. He laid a hand gently on my shoulder, voice thick and concerned. "You don't have to finish. We understand if you can't."
I nodded, too choked up to continue. As he led me away, I looked back at the casket one last time. Trying to say goodbye.
YOU ARE READING
Welcome to the Statehouse (Headcanons and Oneshots)
FanfictionI do not apologize if this ends up being mostly injury angst because I love writing injury angst :) Also, this is based off of the yt series by Ben Brainard.
