Teeth and Claws

Chapter 1

To be a werewolf was complicated, really, really, really complicated, Leah Clearwater often thought. To feel trapped and frustrated in the body of a creature which one loathed so, and to have no power over it — that was horrible enough; but then there was the other thing — the horror and shame of being compelled to do certain things by the one person who you hated above all others. It made her feel very miserable indeed, with a kind of deep depression which she could not account for. She wanted to tell someone about it, but whose ear should she trust? The other guys didn't care much what happened to her, they only thought she was being bitter because she wasn't doing as well in the pack as they were or because she couldn't get over the fact that she had been turned into something else.

The sun was beginning to rise when these thoughts hit her. The dappled light coming through the trees in the backyard of her house cast a greenish halo around everything, and Leah felt that she was seeing this place from an alien perspective although this was where she had spent most of her life. But now she could never look at it without the sense of alienation and dislocation which came with knowing that she was no longer human. She remembered the change, too, quite clearly — how it had come upon her like a wave of heat, how the ground underneath her feet seemed to sag and sink away, how her heart had begun beating faster and faster until it was thundering inside her chest, how she had felt herself turning to liquid. Yes, she had been angry and frightened in the weeks leading up, but she hadn't been prepared for the reality. Her mother had suggested counselling, but Leah had always rejected that idea. Medication, too, might have helped, but she refused to take any drugs. It would feel like a defeat, somehow, an acceptance that she had lost control over her mind. She had argued most with her mother, of course, but her father had remained aloof, saying little and slipping out of the house more and more frequently.

Leah sat up on the bed and stared at the floor. What she needed to do was go out somewhere, talk to someone who really cared about her. There must be some way she could make herself understood. She got off the bed and walked over to the window. She ran her hands along the sill, feeling the roughness of it against her skin. For a moment she imagined herself rising up through the glass, flying out into the morning sky. But the window was thick, and she knew that it wouldn't break easily. What did she used to do before the change, when everything was normal? What were the things that had given her pleasure? When had she last been happy? Music, maybe? Or was it books? No, no, she hated books. They made her head spin. Maybe it was movies, then. That had been fun once. Chick flicks? Not that either, she thought. And there was nothing else. Oh God, what had she done with her life?

There were few options left. She couldn't get in touch with her old friends because they didn't want anything to do with her, and anyway, she wasn't allowed to get too close to anyone. She had duties to her pack, after all, obligations and responsibilities. She had a secret identity to maintain. Sometimes phasing helped, but she had no privacy. Her thoughts became public knowledge almost immediately, and she couldn't bear to hear people's opinions of her — negative or otherwise. She didn't want to hear about Jared fucking Kim, or Jacob wishing Edward Cullen would just disappear. It made her sick, all of this love and lust and obsession. She could understand it in some ways, but she still resented it. She sighed. She looked down at her body again, at the body which had betrayed her so many times. The transformation had been painful and humiliating, but worse than that was what she had become. She had grown; taller and leaner, stronger and more muscular. Her face was different now, too, sharper, less round. She was no longer pretty, but something else entirely - not ugly, just more sharper, more angular. She didn't like this new shape. It didn't suit her. She felt awkward and uncomfortable. She'd had to cut her hair, too. She went back to the bed and lay down, looking at the ceiling. How could she ever be happy again?

Authors Note: Thanks for stopping by. :)

This is just a short chapter, really, to get the ball rolling. Please do chat with me via tumblr or discord if you have anything you would like to say about the story so far - I love hearing feedback. I also love to roleplay as well on the side, if you're into that.

Discord: CalmBeforeTheStorm#4517
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