Storm over the Caribbean

44. Lilly the Loathsome Chauvinist

"Naturally."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Ah. Good." No frying pan required, then. "Well, now that we'll be returning home—what are we going to do with your personal pirate posse?"

For a moment, I saw a mental image of Captain Rockface sailing up the Thames at the head of his pirate fleet, ready to plunder the heart of the British Empire.

Yeah, that probably won't go over well with the Queen.

"Hm...." Mr Ambrose stood there for a long moment, stroking his chin. "Do you think the trade routes to India are safe?"

I blinked. "Um...yes? I think? I don't really know. I'm not an expert on the subject of Imperial sea trade."

"Let me rephrase. Don't you think the trade routes to India are a little too safe? Especially the ones under the control of the East India Company?"

My eyes widened ever so slightly. "Oh."

"Most especially the routes used by the East India Company to transport its opium from India to China in order to try and addict the entire country, as well as transport back the profits derived from said opium's sale."

I couldn't keep the smile from spreading across my face as my eyes wandered back to the pirates who were currently arrayed in a line in front of Karim. "Now that I think about it...I believe we forgot to send Lord Dalgliesh a birthday present this year."

"Indeed."

"Like all the years before that. Considering that, as the main shareholder of the East India Company, he's such an important personage, that's really unforgivable."

"Indeed."

"I think we should remedy that, don't you?"

"Speedily."

"Let's send him a...surprise. In fact, several ships full of surprises."

"Agreed."

Our eyes met, and then, as one, we turned to the pirate fleet anchored a little farther away. The pirate fleet that would soon be sailing off for a nice, long, plundering holiday in the east. Giving birthday presents was such fun!

Suddenly, something occurred to me.

"Mr Ambrose?" I asked in the sweetest tone I could manage. Batting my eyelashes up at my darling husband, I leaned towards him.

"Yes?" he enquired suspiciously.

"Before we send them off, could you do me one teensy-weensy harmless little favour...?"

***

We met up with the rest of the pirate fleet a few dozen nautical miles from the island. They happily cheered and welcomed back their captain—that is, until they were introduced to their new first mate. Over the next few days, Karim took great pleasure in "instructing" his new subordinates. It was almost enough to make me feel pity for the bunch of murderous bastards. Or, to be precise, for what was left of them.

"Are you sure we can't drag them back to Britain and publicly hang them from the yardarm, Sahiba?" he enquired, his piercing gaze sweeping over the three dozen or so pirates who were frantically scrubbing a squeaky-clean deck.

"Quite sure." I nodded. "But Mr Ambrose and I had this rather interesting idea..."

Leaning closer, I started to whisper. All that anyone else could hear were a few words like "Dalgliesh" and "rob him blind" and "Mwahahahaha!"

Karim's eyes glinted.

"True, Sahiba. That does sound...intriguing."

I gave him a beaming smile. "So glad you agree. Do you think you could properly motivate our friends over there?"