Part 2, Self Destruction

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And now, summer is coming to its end. Lissa has no more than two days to rest before many months of suffering, and we are talking about school. During this short period of time, the girl managed to quarrel with all her friends, while remaining completely alone. Nobody texts her, they all hate her now. It turns out that no one will ever be able to accept Melissa for who she is, no matter how hard she tries. But on the one hand, it would be better for her, right? No need to flatter and sacrifice your personal time and sleep for the sake of communication. However, now Melissa was ready to do anything for attention.

Music in headphones and a swing in the yard became the only consolation for this lonely soul. Every day the girl spent in bed, staring at one point and thinking about her own. She never took off her headphones, in fear that all those terrible thoughts that had haunted her for the past two weeks would finally take over her. Day after day, Lissa got worse after her last friend blocked her. She has become too dependent on someone else's attention, but now it does not matter. It's already ten PM. Dark enough for another attempt to drown out her thoughts. The girl changed into a black hoodie and jeans, took a backpack and quietly left the apartment, softly closing the front door behind her. Today it is rather cloudy and not a single star is visible, which means there is no point in concentrating her attention on the blue skies. It's been raining recently and in the light of a single lantern, all the grass in the area shone brightly with large drops of moisture. It was pretty chilly and her teeth were already starting to chatter. Although, it does not matter when the gentle and calm «Routine» is already slowly flowing from the headphones. So measured, as if penetrating through the headphones straight into the very soul and forcing it to oscillate in its own rhythm. It seemed that the whole world now froze, adjusting to this gentle and unobtrusive melody and visually complementing all the musical overflows. From each of which, a slight shiver ran through the girl's body, wrapped in a veil of evening coolness. Step by step, Melissa is getting closer to the dark corner she loved so much, hidden from the light by the massive branches of two birches. But something was wrong: the light in the windows of the third floor was not on. At least today no one will watch her .. The girl came up, she took a napkin out of her pocket and wiped the swing seat from moisture. Lissa looked with disgust at the paper handkerchief: it was all wet and smeared in wet sand: again, some degenerates did not find a better way than to stand on the swing with their boots. Lissa already wanted to throw this napkin somewhere nearby, but realizing that all her attention would be riveted to her because of the light shade, while swinging, the girl nevertheless walked five meters and threw it into the trash can. The backpack is behind a wet beam, a cold south wind blows at the girl's back. A wave of tingles ran all over the girl's body, and she involuntarily shuddered. It was much colder there than Melissa had expected, but she decided that she was quite capable of getting used to such a temperature in no more than ten minutes. The girl began to move and the cold pre-autumn air more and more scalded her body with new portions of the cold wind. But Lissa held on and just waited for her body to get used to it. How good it was that she has been able to swing without hands: she would have frostbitten them on the metal handles of the swing in other cases. In an attempt to distract herself, she begins to sing along to the just turned on «Darkside», calming and inspiring, giving the body not only energy flows and unwavering motivation to move, but also concentration mixed with relaxation at the same time. Listening to this beautiful composition has always felt like a mixture of rapid movement and absolute peace, a fierce battle of morals and a truce. Listening in a special way to the calling to her, or rather calling to action, female vocals, to realize who you are at the moment, where you are, how you live .. But with every movement of her lower jaw, the chatter of her teeth only intensified. The girl stopped her futile attempts. Now she only swayed back and forth, breathing heavily and intermittently, contemplating the blazing light of the vegetation in the area with her eyes wide open from the cold. How good it was that she is here alone and no one else has seen this great shame.. And then, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a small dark silhouette nearby. The girl sharply turned her head to the right and saw a gray cat looking in her direction. The girl slowed down and focused her attention on it. Half-illumined by the lamplight, it sat motionless in the shining grass and stared at one point somewhere behind Melissa. And then, right under the girl's feet, a thin white cat unexpectedly slipped to meet the gray one and stopped a meter away from him. "All clear, - Lissa thought, - they're on a date or something.." She drooped. "Even cats have relationships." And then, after standing motionless for a few seconds, the white cat, pretending that it no longer noticed another one, walked away from the playground with a fairly quick step. Gray did not follow her by itself, only with a sad look. "That's how it is.." - still trembling slightly, the girl said. She got up, and, cowering from the cold that enveloped her, slowly began to approach the animal. The cat, in turn, was not afraid of her at all, but rather, on the contrary, patiently waited until she finally approached him. Melissa came up to it, sat down nearby right in the wet grass and let him sniff her. Half of her face was illuminated by the bright lamplight. Now all the shins were soaked through, but the girl no longer paid attention to it.

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