I Saved My Heroes (Fifth Harmony/You)

Chapter Nine

Your P.O.V.

I felt still, as if i was trapped in my own ice, frozen deep within slowly becoming a part of history that will soon be forgotten. Every time I sleep I wake up minutes later dripping in sweat and breathing heavily, all because that night haunts me, the night i took a life, something i never thought i'd do before.

It seems all fun and exciting in video games but when it happens in reality you picture their family and friends now missing a piece of them self. That would make two of us, I don't feel like myself anymore. I'm a killer, i'm a murderer, i'm a villain, not a hero. I could of shot his foot or something, but I shot him, i shot his chest causing him to bleed out and pass on while i'm here today, in a hospital bed, living.

The girls were passed out on the couches while it was 3 in the morning. I was afraid to close my eyes, but sometimes my eye lids would get too heavy and I would close my eyes but to soon wake up the same way I always did ever since that night.

It has been two days and I was informed that I had broken ribs, a fractured jaw and, obviously a gun shot. It took me a while to figure out how I got broken ribs and a fractured jaw, but then I remembered what Syrah and her friends did to me.

My family and friends came to visit me earlier but had to go home because the girls wanted to stay with me and they took all the room. They looked at me with the same eyes everyone looked at me with, sadness, joy, sympathy and the look as if they see a hero and i hated it. I just wanted to be a normal teenage girl who was crying over their idols success and blasting their music as loud as you can to where you can't hear your own voice above it. Yet, i get checked into a hospital with blood on my hands.

I refused to look at the news, horrified to see the security footage that had went viral. Everyday someone tells me i'm a hero, and i just smile not believing a word they say, I'm not a hero.

"Y/N?" I heard a voice whisper causing me to pop out of my thoughts. I turned to see it was Lauren, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah i'm fine, just a little tummy ache." i joked at my gun shot injury causing her to chuckle.

"You're so strong Y/N." She said with a glow in her eyes.

"I'm just lucky." I looked down at my fingers and played with them.

"Y/N, look at me." she pleaded and I obeyed. "You're so strong wether you believe it or not. You got shot for gods sakes, and yet you still had enough energy to stand up and grab the gun from his hand. You saved us, none of us were strong enough to do that, we were too scared. I know you're punishing yourself for killing that man, but the thing is, if he got ahold of that gun he would of killed us with no guilt on his shoulder. Don't let him win and have the satisfaction of you destroying yourself. It hurts me so much to know you're hurting. You are way too beautiful and amazing to be hurting." her words hit me right in the heart, she doesn't know how much that meant to me, but that yet to cease the pain that was mentally instead of physically since they gave me medication for that.

"I just can't Lauren, I can't find a way to live with myself knowing I killed someone." I said beginning to feel tears weld up in my eyes. Lauren took that as her cue to comfort me because she stood up from her seat and gave me a warm hearted hug. I couldn't control it anymore, I let my tears escape my eyes and land on Lauren's shirt, she didn't seem to mind.

"It's going to take some time Y/N, you'll get through this, want to know how I know?" She asked and I nodded into her shoulder. "Because i've seen you, you're more stronger than you know, your heart of steal will start to grow. Thats how a superhero learns to fly." She quoted 'The Script'.

"But I-I'm not a hero." I said still trying to fight back the tears but failed.

"You are Y/N, and one day we will prove that to you, because you're our little hero." I decided not to argue with her since I know that it would end in me opening up about my past, and I couldn't do that. Everyone has a past, everyone has a story thats changed them, and that night will surely change me, i'm just scared on what i will be in the end.