Broken soul. (A fanfic starring Adar from the 'rings of power')

10

ADAR

Everything was as it had always been, nothing seemed to have changed. But he was still clinging on to the little light inside him. The time had been so short... that there might be more of that drove him on though. He would fight for that. It was next to impossible to do without violence but he tried! Occasionally one of his children had to be educated but now he was careful not to harm them. He wanted to be good so badly, to impress Eilith, even when she wasn't there. What did it mean though to be good?
He would ask her when he was united with her! If...
He did however seem to have developed a kind of a conscience.
Sometimes now, when he'd done certain things he would feel bad, as if an alarm had been installed in his mind. Most of the time he was glad of it, he felt more real and not like a hollow shell. Sometimes it was annoying, making things more complicated. Survival meant that he usually choose the quickest and easiest way, bearing his needs and feelings in mind. Now he started to think about others needs and feelings. But it was a warm thing... he couldn't quite explain, he just knew he wanted the warm to grow. It would be very difficult to keep this up once he had joined Sauron though.
Because this was his plan, he would join Sauron and pretend that he was joining forces. Hopefully an opportunity would present itself to get rid of Sauron!!!!  Lethauri might be there too. He was the only other remaining of the 'turned' elf's. Two had taken there own life,  one of them had been Gil-Galad's younger brother. Two had died in battle and another had simply just gone missing. How Gil-Galad could have abandoned them, Adar still couldn't comprehend. 

Gil-Galad had been their leader, the oldest of them, tallest and, strongest. They had been surrounded whilst Gil-Galad had walked off a little. On his return he watched but he didn't do anything to aid them, than he had run. And now he was the high king, whilst his brother and most of the others were dead. Lethauri was practically dead too, there was but nothing left to him, he had become colder than ice. Adar had been emotionally dead too but at least he had always felt a bond with his children. Lethauri didn't even have that left. He would have no scruples offering his children for Sauron's cause. Adar wondered, if  Lethauri would find true love, if he could be saved too? For Adar, Lethauri had always been like a brother, especially after them two had been the only two left, he had felt loyalty but Adar feared, that Lethauri was so far gone, that he had actually lost his mind.
He would probably try to safe him anyways, he was the only one that knew what it had been like.

In the evening he would think about Eilith, about the kindness, the goodness radiating from her and her life and, how she loved him. That would make him feel bittersweet, warm, but also sad. He missed her so very much! At first it felt as if she was still close, as if she was still looking out for him. It was strange and he was amazed that he could feel her literally not far of. He marvelled at the power of love. Than it faded.. probably the distance and time. It made the longing so much stronger though. He wanted her to be around but he knew it wouldn't do. The evil he was pursuing wouldn't shy away from taking away that which was most precious to him. She could be used against him and visa versa. He couldn't bear her being exposed to the cruelty the world could posses or at least the evil in it.
According to the cluster of his children, that where traveling with him, it would take maybe another 10 days to reach the rest. One of his earliest children Borovoc had taken over the leadership for the time being. The children that were travelling with him, were not so happy about Borovoc's leadership. They told him that he was at times misusing his position but with some of the things he had done they were pleased though but in a way they were roaming about like headless children. It didn't surprise Adar. The Uruks, his children, were not the brightest kind, it had mostly to do with their mothers bloodlines and he wouldn't call himself very bright either. Borovoc wasn't a bad choice though. 

EILITH

When Eilith came to it, she was lying in a bed. Her head hurt terribly, especially when she tried to sit up. There was, as a matter of fact a bandage around her head. Gently she touched the side of her head, where the sharpest pain was coming from. There was probably a wound. She looked around., the room she was lying in, was simple but clean, so were the blanket she had rested under. The whole place smelled of herbs, she could definitely make out lavender but that was due to the fact, that there was a whole bunch of them hanging under the celling to dry.. 

She got up. This wasn't as straight forward as she had hoped, a little wave of nausea went through her as well as a dizziness. She wasn't wearing all of her clothing. Just the undergarments had been left. This was a little embarrassing and it reminded her of Adar, the time she had just washed him. Now she had an inkling of what it felt like, only she didn't seem to be a prisoner. Oh Adar, now she would definitiv not be able to find him. She felt a huge lump in her chest, a brokenness she had not yet known. It was a strong longing that she couldn't fill.

She opened the thick material that was used as a door, to the room she had been lying in. She looked into a big warm room. There at a table sat three people. A human woman, a boy, maybe 14 years of age and to her surprise a male elf. The three of them seemed very close. were they a family? The woman got up and walked towards her. 

" I see you have woken up, how are you feeling?" She asked Eilith.

Eilith touched the place where she reckoned was a wound: "Not to bad," she answered back. 

The boy who had been sitting at the table as well, hurried over. " I am very sorry, I didn't see you approaching in the woods. We collided and you hid your head on one of the rocks near by."

The boy looked familiar. Than she remembered, it was the boy, that had been with Galadriel, when they had brought Adar. He had found his mother! She was very glad that she was able to witness this. 

" I see you found your mother," She said kindly. "My name is Eilith, I am the elf you and Galadriel came to the day the volcano erupted. I am very glad you found your mother!"  

Now the boy recognised her too. "But if you are here, where is the evil elf, we left with you that night?" He asked. What could she say, most certainly she would not tell them that she had fallen in love with him and that she had let him get away.

A little she had to admit though.. she could only be truthful, it was her nature. "He got away and I was on my way to find him." 

"That foul bastard," the boy said. His face contorted with hatred. The male elf that had been sitting quietly so far, got up now. 

"These are indeed bad news," he stated. "Theo run along," he urged the boy, "Go and find that girlfriend of yours, Thandi is her name isn't it?" He was half teasing the boy now, who in return, threw a cloth at the male elf, which he had been holding in his hands until now. 

"None of your business Adar," he called out running outside. He called the elf Adar, so he was indeed his father? Why not, she liked the idea. Of course the mentioning of the name Adar was like a stab to her chest. Where was Adar? Was he well?

"The elf that has escaped, has killed many of the villagers, friends and neighbours of my wife and her son. are you after him to secure him yet again?" The male elf seemed to be not entirely sure if he could trust her. 

The woman jumped in. "Now now, let her get dressed first and have something to eat, than we can discuss more important matters" 

Eilith was very grateful. She didn't really feel comfortable being interrogated while she stood Infront of him in her undergarments