Enemies with Benefits 2

Chapter 18: Not the face

"Stop defending him."

Steven kept quiet, letting Ezra feel whatever indignity he wanted.

"Did they kick you out when they found out?" Ezra asked.

"Oh, I wasn't kicked out for a good few days after that. I don't remember much. Benny ran out the house with his clothes bundled up in his arms before anyone could catch him. I think my mom must've dragged my dad off of me at some point. Next thing I knew, I was in the hospital."

"Is that why your nose is crooked?"

Oh, so he had noticed. It wasn't that obvious, was it? His hand self consciously felt the unnatural angle in his nose. He hoped Stavros hadn't noticed it. "It is. Honestly it was amazing how those doctors managed to put my nose back together." Ezra gasped at the idea, that wasn't very medically professional of him. "I must've been in the hospital for two weeks until my mom came to see me."

"They hadn't seen you before?"

"No. No one did. I would just watch the TV all day until a nurse came to check on me. Awful TV, I was staring at static more often than not. My mom didn't mention anything about the accident. She didn't even speak when she came in, but it was still nice to see her. She always wore this perfume that gave me a headache. She peeled me an orange and had to help me eat the pieces when she noticed I couldn't do it for myself. She wasn't happy to do it. 'Hospitals are expensive,' she told me, 'and frankly we don't want to keep paying these bills for someone like you.' She dabbed her handkerchief on my lips when I'd finished the orange. She didn't ask why I did it, although, I suppose she didn't need to. I think they always knew there was something wrong with me. It was a don't ask, don't tell, sort of thing. As long as I stayed in line, it didn't bother them. I royally fucked up is what I'm trying to say. To tell the truth, I don't think it would've mattered. My parents never liked me much anyway. 'We've found a nice girl who might marry you. Beg your dad for forgiveness and just maybe we'll let you back."

"But you said you stayed on the streets for at least two months."

"Yes. Young and stupid. I never dared to think why Benny didn't come see me, so instead of going to my dad and asking for forgiveness, I went to Benny instead. I must've looked like death. My face beaten to a pulp, a broken arm and bandages wherever bandages could go. I'd never been to his house but I'd walked home with him a few times before so I knew where it was. I knocked on the door and waited. Initially his mom came to the door and had no idea who I was. I told her I was a friend of her son's and she left me at the door to go get him. I thought he'd be happy to see me, instead he screamed and yelled at me when he saw me at the door. Telling me to leave and that he won't be associated with someone like me and if I told anyone around school that we were friends, let alone any more than friends, then he would tell them the truth. I grabbed his shirt and asked why he was being like this, that there wasn't a man in the world I cared about more than him. He didn't like that very much."

"He told you to fuck off?"

"After he punched me in the face too, yeah, he did tell me to fuck off. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to go home, but there was nowhere else for me. I went to school and pretended everything was fine for as long as I could, but it was a distinguished school, which is fancy talk for expensive. Everything cost money and I had none. I was starving, my uniform was gradually becoming dirtier, the stains on it more apparent and my bodily hygiene only maintained by the school locker room. After a month of doing this, Christmas break started and the headmaster told me that my school fees hadn't been paid for next semester, so I wasn't welcome back until they were."

"Jesus."

"It was for the best. I spent most mornings at school trying to wash the word faggot of my locker. Never anything else, they lacked creativity to come up with something else. That winter was the coldest one I'd ever experienced. I slept on the streets for as long as I could. I would wake up and my fingers and toes had turned blue from the cold. It snowed that winter and the snow didn't let up. I tried for as long as I could. One day, when I thought I might die from the cold or how it felt like my stomach was trying to eat itself, I gave up. I went back to my parents' house, got on my hands and knees and begged them to let me come back."

"And they did."

"Extremely reluctantly. My sister wasn't happy for me to be back. I think she quite liked being an only child while I was gone. Although, she may as well have been. My family didn't interact much with me after that. I was a ghost in my own home, but at least I could eat, sleep comfortably and stay warm. It was enough. I went back to the school, studied law, married your mother and joined my father's firm."

"It sounds so miserable." Ezra looked down at the table at his hands, his thumbs overlapped, the left on top of the right.

Steven reached forward and placed his hand on top of Ezra's. His hands were so big now. There was a time—so long ago—when Ezra's whole tiny hand could fit into the palm of Steven's. "It wasn't so bad. I had you after all." He smoothed his thumb over Ezra's hand. "I'm sorry, Ezra. I didn't mean to hurt you the way I was. I wanted you to have a life better than mine, a life you deserve."

"I'm happy with Colby." He said. A single tear ran down his face.

"I know that now, but back then Ezra I didn't know what to do. It's so hard being this way and just the idea that anyone might hurt you for it, it scares me so much that I can hardly sleep at night. You're the best part of me, but you're so much like me. I'm sorry for that."

Ezra didn't say anything. It didn't seem like he could. His breath kept catching in his throat. He covered his mouth with one of his hands, the other one still holding Steven's. His eyes so blue and now overflowing with tears.

What a terrible, awful man Steven was. Always making his son cry.

"You don't have to forgive me, Ezra, because I don't deserve anything of the sort. But you should know... I do love you. More than anything. The only good thing that's ever happened to me."

Ezra looked at him. His face was flushed and fat tears just wouldn't stop pouring down his precious face. He'd always been like that. A dramatic crier. His hand squeezed Steven's. He'd always done that as well.

"What the-" Colby stood in the doorway. Two bags of groceries by his side that he dropped on the floor.

"Colby, it's nice to-"

"You bastard!" Colby rushed forward and punched Steven in the face.

Steven really hoped he wouldn't have to get his nose fixed again.