A Search for Balance

Chapter 18 - True Colours

Lizzie didn't reply. Wanting to explain Orion's motives to Matthew, she realised that she didn't know about any of them. Taking her silence as a sign of admittance, Matthew narrowed his eyes.

"Tell me the truth. Do you still love him?"

Lizzie shook her head from side to side. "What are you even saying?"

"I know exactly what I'm saying. Answer my question, Lizzie."

"Of course I don't!"

Matthew stepped towards her, trapping her between his body and the doorframe. "Are you sure about this?"

He turned and stalked back into the living room without waiting for her answer. "For Godric's sake, how can you be so stupid to pine after someone who practically abandoned you?"

"He didn't -"

"Yes, he did! But do you know who didn't?" He whirled around and there was genuine hurt on his face. "Me! I stuck around and worked through all your damages with you! I did everything for you - I let you into my family, I spent hours upon hours of my precious time trying to get you a new contract, I'm the only one who can actually see how great you could turn out to be. And this is how you thank me?"

Not being able to meet his eyes anymore, Lizzie looked to the ground, feeling the truth of Matthew's words heavy on her shoulders. It had been Matthew who had healed everything Orion had broken, and it had been his advice that had taken her to where she was now. Pushing the feeling of shame rising in her away, she took a pleading step in Matthew's direction.

"Orion means nothing to me anymore, you have to believe me. Him and me, that's over. I'm with you now, am I not?"

"What are these then?"

Matthew reached for something that had been lying on the sofa between the cushions. With a jolt, Lizzie recognised the old wooden box she used to store her keepsakes in. Matthew turned it over and upended the contents of the box on the rug, the pictures of Lizzie's friends, her letters and all the other things tumbling to the ground.

"Where did you get these?" she asked with a shaking voice. "You promised me you'd never go through my stuff again. What gives you the right to snoop around my things?"

"What gives you the right to keep secrets from me?" Matthew shot back. "Had you been honest with me, I wouldn't have needed to look for the truth elsewhere. I worry about you, why can't you see that? You're nothing but a ticket back into the spotlight for him. The rueful friend, come back to make amends? How can you be so stupid to fall for this?"

"Stupid enough to trust you to respect my privacy, it seems!"

"We're getting married, Lizzie! My wife will not have secrets from me, especially if they involve her drooling over her worthless ex-lover!"

"Orion is not worthless," Lizzie said fiercely. For the first time since they were together, she had raised her voice at Matthew. "And I'm not drooling over him either. There's nothing between us anymore."

"Really?" Matthew said, watching her closely. "Prove it."

"How?"

He picked up a stack of letters and tossed them Lizzie's way. "Burn them."

Lizzie froze. "You're joking."

"Far from it."

"You can't ask this of me."

"Why not? I thought they were just letters."

"These are my memories, Matthew!" Lizzie fought to keep the desperation from her voice, but judging by the triumphant gleam in Matthew's eyes, he had heard it anyway.

"I knew it," he growled. "You still have a thing for him. After everything he's done to you, after everything I have done for you..."

He snatched the letters from Lizzie's hands and carried them to the fireplace, but before he could toss them into the flames, he found himself face to face with Lizzie's wand.

"You don't want to do this, angel," he said, looking at Lizzie with his eyebrows raised. "Put down your wand."

"Only if you put down my letters."

Matthew moved his hand closer to the fire, and Lizzie's wand rose higher. An amused look crossed his face. "You would never hex me."

"Try me."

Suddenly, Matthew's whole demeanour changed. The aggressive tension left his shoulders, and his dismissive look made way for a look of profound sadness.

"What have I done to deserve this?" He placed the letters on the mantelpiece and shook his head. "I'm so disappointed in you, Lizzie. I would have taken you for much, but not a liar. I thought you could be trusted."

The sympathy Lizzie had begun to feel for Matthew dissolved in a fresh flare of anger. "You've gone through my things, and I'm the one who can't be trusted?"

"I was worried about you," Matthew stressed again. "If you stopped acting like a naïve little girl, people could stop treating you like one, too."

"I've made it quite far for a naïve little girl."

Matthew laughed, a cold, sharp sound Lizzie had never heard from him before. "And how did you? By other people's graces, all of it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you need me to make a list for you?" he asked with flashing eyes. "You only put effort into people when they can get you places. Me, Ethan Parkin, even your uncouth friend Skye, all of us were useful to you. Come to think of it, I can see why you find your ex so appealing. Owls of a feather flock together."

Lizzie had heard enough. She couldn't take it anymore; the accusations, the sneering, but most of all, the slander towards Orion, who didn't even have anything to do with this.

"Get out," she whispered, making Matthew's eyebrows shoot up in astonishment.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, get out!"

"You have no right to throw me out like this," Matthew snarled, gripping her shoulder so hard that it made Lizzie cry out.

"This is my house, and if you don't get lost right now, I will make you rue the day," she said through gritted teeth, holding Matthew's eyes until he finally let go of her.

"This isn't over yet," he told her, braced his shoulders and walked away.

When the door fell shut behind him, Lizzie exhaled slowly. Feeling empty inside, she sank to the ground, clutching at her shoulder where a bruise was already forming above her collarbone. Despite the burning fire, a chill spread from the pit of her stomach and into the rest of her, and then, finally, the tears began to fall.