always an angel, never a god || Supernatural

𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘐𝘕?

She mopped and organized everything back to how it once was when she first got this apartment. In the middle of the room were her bags. The blonde sighs and wipes her forehead as she leans against the wall.

She frowns as she folds her hands behind her neck, letting her head fall back. She lets out a breath as she closes her eyes.

ਏਓ

The sunrise wasn't as beautiful as she drank the coffee she managed to make, sitting in the kitchen isle with her legs to her chest. She was lost in her thoughts.

Tears slipping down her cheek as she drank her coffee, a blank look on her face. You would think she would be used to it by now? The feeling of being alone. The space, the life. God, she wishes she was.

She closes her eyes and she lets out a small sigh. How did her life become into this?
One day she was woken up by John, telling her he was taking her with him to a hunt. "You need to learn." He had said. She changed and he handed a gun to her. That was her normal. That was her life.
"Suck it up." "Don't cry." "Don't speak until spoken to."

In a way she's glad she's not in that life. Just knowing they still were makes her stomach flip.

But god she felt like a fraud. She knew why. She was living in the wrong lifestyle. She knew her world wasn't working, smiling at a boy, getting asked out on dates that she never went to because she never agreed to it on her end.

She was a soldier, forced to fight and hunt.

She knew her world was hunting . She might not have been good at it at first. "If you don't start practicing and getting this shit right, you will die! You hear me? You will fucking die! Do you want that??"— But she learned. She learned to the point where it was all she knew sometimes. And it scared her.

Because although she left hunting, the hunting never left her. She left the fighting, but the fighting never left her.

ਏਓ

     She had all afternoon to figure out what she was going to do. Now showered and changed, she walked up to the diner and walked into her bosses office. She even came prepared and knew exactly what she was going to say.

"You're quitting?"

Elliot nodded. She was confused at first at his shock and confusion. It wasn't a big deal. A lot of people quit their jobs. She was just like one of those people. Quitting their jobs, for the same reason? She wasn't sure.

"Yes, sir. I'm just dealing with my own personal things." Elliot nods and smiles as nicely as she could. She really didn't care, she just wanted to turn in her uniform and badge. Wanted to walk out and just not come back.

Now that she thought about it, she regrets coming here. She should have just left them wondering whether she was ever going to come back or not.

"You know, Singers. The whole time you've worked here..I've never seen you participate in small business parties or even activities. The only times you would interact would be with the customers. You were a quiet yet good worker." He leans back on his chair and folds his hand together.
"And the one few times we do speak, it's about you quitting. It's a shame really, you were one of the good ones." He shrugs and smiles. "Good luck."