Kuch Kisse Roohaniyat Ke

Page 5

I know for a fact this detailing, It was something none could except from a normal person, now don't ask me why but I remembered them , his eyes, his face, his tears , how his hands trembled, I remembered every fucking detail......

" Sana ! For god's sake just come down " My mother shouted again and I sighed , I am just telling you my Diary, she is really impossible to understand sometimes.

I shall meet you soon
My Dear Diary

" What is it Mom " I had asked as soon as I went in the living room, shouting probably but I was too damn irritated by now, it was as if I'm a puppet for everyone around me.

" We need to go somewhere, just go get dressed in a something simple Shehnaaz" she spoke ignoring the tone I used, making me sigh, why is she such , she could have scolded me but she didn't and I don't know how was she that Bollywood style Mom all of a sudden and so here I was , After getting to know it's Sidharth's Grandmother's Last 10th day Pooja and we need to be there for the final condolences.

But what do I wear to such occasions! I have no fucking clue , for the first time in my life I felt I'm unknown to this particular thing in my life.
But then how does it matter? Does it ? I don't think so , So I am here in a simple Pink Top and A black Straight fit jeans and here while leaving you I'm just hoping I get to see a glimpse of him , hoping this time much stable than the last, I mean I'm selfish enough to take his dimple smile in my memories of him and not that broken Sidharth before I leave for Banglore, Few more days of leave and I know I'm already leaving, this time in a flight and not just a train...
I don't think I can handle trains anymore but the fact this time is still alot, I don't know why but this house doesn't feel like a home all of a sudden.

You will be there to hear my rants right , I hope you are there just the way you are for now...

" Hey " I spoke picking up my call which was vibrating it from a minute I guess but I was too busy to even notice .

" Hi Shehnaaz! Are you fine , Doesn't feel like "

" I'm !!! what anyway made you think like that "

" I ..... I don't know something that keeps warning you, something similar I guess , felt you need someone to let whatever you feel out so decided to ask but I guess I was wrong "

" Hey it's nothing, work load I guess " I replied he was sweet but that just made me more guilty, even after 10 days I wasn't able to hold onto him just the way I dreamed to hold onto Sidharth, how was I probably going to spend my entire life.

" I hope it's that, Let's catch up soon, I missed you" He spoke and I tried smiling but I know I failed miserably.

" Have to meet a friend Aarav, Some other time maybe " I replied and the call was cut before he could fathom it, I'm wrong ? Am I?
I do understand Aarav is a nice guy , anyone could want him to be her life partner but maybe not me, The Courtship I don't know it isn't That easy I thought , He is trying even a blind could see that but something is holding me against it .

Anyways Time to See You Some other Time.
Till the Time We Meet Again.
Remember I am there
Yours and
Only Yours....

*

I remember that day, What was I ? 40 and she was 28 yet so sensible, so mature and something out of the world she was, not really bothering about what will people think was something I loved the most about her.
When everyone there were dressed in Simple White clothes , there she was if I'm not wrong in a pink Loose Tee Shirt and A black Loose Jeans.....
I mean she loved her freedom I knew so I smiled seeing her entering the hall where everyone was sitting as if someone just died, I swear if My Grandmother Would have been there she would have died out of sadness that gloomed everyone here, I was no exception but then there she was...

A touch of Extra Sweet and Spicy Mix in my life , I know I shouldn't have avoided her but then there was this crucial moment I was dealing with, Even now I'm , listening all this still takes me back to her ....
To my Grandmother that is of how close we both were , maybe more than she ever was to my Dad too.

Even if she was there for just half an hour, I could feel she was just gazing me, that time there was nothing I could point a finger at, She was just concerned and now when I look at that I smile hoping it would have been that easy for me to understand it much earlier
What we had was not just a mere cordial relationship it was above that , Above Souls I guess but the realisation is way to a bygone for us now.....

I mean look at us.....
Us Me and Shehnaaz......
My beautiful Precious Shehnaaz......
My soulmate Shehnaaz, she is there through every thin and through of our lives together......

But I'm scared ....
Even to hear it now , Her Being In a courtship with that Aarav I know I'm loosing my sanity, even if I know I'm getting it back ....

She is pulling me through it .
Once again.

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Comment if you feel like it's worthy enough .

Love
Aaradhya
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