saturday mornings are for pancakes // a dream x reader fanfiction

CHAPTER 70: I MISSED YOU

"We've got plenty of time before you go back to Florida." I wave off his joke.

He clears his throat at the mention of Florida. "Should we talk about yesterday?"

I shake my head slowly. "Not right now. Not yet."

I watch him nod in understanding, but his eyes are watching some people tossing a football, then he watches the people skating and the people just walking by. I watch him take in New York.

"You hungry?" I ask, remembering I had other things to show him.

"I mean, I guess." He shrugs.

"Good." I stand from my spot. "Depending on the subway traffic, we'll get there in roughly forty-five minutes."

I lead Clay through the city. I show him my coffee shop, telling him that next time he's here we'll go there for breakfast. I show him where I tripped on the sidewalk because my shoe was untied. I show him my favorite mural on the wall. I show him what New York is really like. I show him what my life's been for the past year.

"And this is Alfred's." I dramatically point to the semi-run down pizza place.

"The famous Alfred's." Clay looks at it in awe. "Smaller than I expected."

We eat our pizza at the small make-shift bar seating at the pizza place. We only have an hour left before he needs to leave for the airport.

I glance at him as we walk, noticing something before laughing. He glances at me with furrowed brows. "What?"

"You have some"–I point to my own chin– "You've got some sauce right here?"

"Where?" He touches his own chin. "Right here?"

"Yeah."

He wipes his chin before reaching out to touch my shoulder. I shrink away from the splotch of red on his finger.

"You're disgusting," I say, but I'm laughing through it.

He wipes his finger on his shirt, and I try not to make a comment about it going to stain it later. Instead, I take in the sight of him in New York.

"I've missed this," I say, "I've missed you."

He smiles. "I missed you, too."

We go through a cross walk without talking.

"I hope you don't think that I came here just to get you back or something," Clay admits, "I really just came because it had been too long."

"Way too long," I agree, "And I hope you don't think that I've replaced Florida completely with New York."

He shakes his head. "I don't. I think you actually really do like it here. You seem happy."

I nod but don't say anything. I remember how hard it was to move here, and now I realize how hard it would be to move away.

"Ben wants me to travel with him for a year," I blurt out. As soon as I say it, I feel relief run down my spine.

"Well, I mean, you do always want to be traveling, right?" Clay laughs, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Plus, a year isn't really that long."

That was a lie. I think Clay and I have recently both learned that a year is a very long time.

"New York was supposed to be just a year," I comment, "It's over a year now."

"I've noticed."

"I think that's what he'll do, too," I admit, "and I'm not sure that's what I want anymore."

"What do you want, y/n?" Clay turns his head to look at me.

I give a noncommittal shrug.

"Well, I think how you feel should be your number one priority right now," Clay says.

I let his words sink in, realizing how different we are from when we first met. I wonder what past me would think. I wonder what teenage me would think. Would I be proud? Would I be confused? I feel confused.

Goodbyes are hard when they're stretched throughout a day, but they're even harder when you only have five minutes.

Clay slides his phone into his back pocket. "Well, I had fun today, y/n."

"Me too." I uncross my arms. "I'm glad you came to New York, Clay."

"I'm glad I did too."

We stand there for a second, unsure what to say. Then, he opens his arms for me to walk into.

I think hugs can transfer thousands of unsaid messages within a few seconds even when you don't know exactly what to say.

I hope Clay understands what I'm trying to say. I miss him. I wish he didn't have to leave.

I miss him.

"Use those plane tickets soon, okay?" Clay whispers, "Promise?"

I hug him tighter. "Pinky."

He pulls away from the hug as his Uber pulls up. "Goodbye, y/n."

"Goodbye, Clay."

_ _ _

I take my time getting back to my apartment. It's dusk when I finally walk up the two flights of stairs. It feels like I haven't stepped foot here in a really long time.

I know I should feel relieved after a really long day, but instead there is sunken feeling spreading through my chest.

I crash onto my bed, and all I want is home.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

literally the only reason y/n and ben date is so that i could create a parrallel between them with natalie and clay. it just makes sense to me, and i'll explain more once the story is finished :)

have an amazing day <3