𝙎𝙒𝙀𝙀𝙏𝙀𝙎𝙏 𝙎𝙈𝙄𝙇𝙀, 𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙨 𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩

𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘹𝘵𝘦𝘦𝘯

( tw: mention of abusive situation, ptsd, & nightmares )


you began tossing and turning in lou's bed, drenched in a cold sweat. you were dreaming about the attack again. nightmares were usually something that usually happened with traumatic events, rose had explained to you. before you knew it, you were thrashing in the sheets and screaming. loud footsteps came rushing to lou's room and a pair of firm hands began pulling you away from the edge of the bed. "(y/n), honey, i'm right here. it's alright, you are safe, you are home." the gentle voice began calling you out of the atrocious nightmare. your eyes flashed open and your breaths became increasingly rigid. you looked at debbie in fear, not recognizing her face or your surroundings. "hey, sweetheart. it's alright, it's me. it's debbie. you are in lou's room, okay?" she was speaking so calmly but yet firmly, the definition of tough love. you began to slowly recognize where you were and  breathing normally again. debbie gave you a slight smile. "hey, honey," she said with a soft chuckle. you let a small laugh escape as you wiped your tear-stained face. "another nightmare?" she asked. you nodded your head. usually when you had a nightmare, lou would be right at your side, while gently stroking your hair. but debbie being by your side was unusual. debbie clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth, making a clicking noise. "do you want to talk about it?" she inquired while narrowing her deep brown eyes. in response, you just blankly stared back at her. she took a deep breath with a smile. "i have a lot of experience with nightmares."

you followed debbie into the kitchen, taking a seat next to her at the island. she placed a mug of chamomile tea in front of you as she sipped her own. you glanced at the time that was glowing from the stove. it was 4:23 in the morning. the only light illuminating the kitchen was from the warm overhead light. you noticed debbie's gaze lingering on you, so you picked up the mug and took a long sip of the tea. it soothed your throat and made you feel warmer. "you have nightmares pretty often, huh?" you turn your head to debbie. you give her a tight-lipped smile. "yeah, usually about my parents or my ex." debbie nods understandingly. "i had nightmares like that too. people here in the world are such major dickheads and it's hard not to give them the power of entering our subconscious." you let out little giggle, "you are right about that." you took another sip of the tea as debbie smiles at you. "ever since you've been here, i've only seen you grow. and i want you to know i'm so proud of you, (y/n)," debbie says with a smile. your cheeks flushed a pink as you began to brush off the compliment. "no, you shouldn't-- there isn't anything to--" debbie cuts you off with a sharp and stern tone. "don't try to convince me otherwise, (y/n)." you abruptly shut up. "what's keeping you up at night?" you scrunch your nose up and press your lips together. "i've been having memories of my childhood," you begin. "you can probably tell that it wasn't the best." debbie silently laughs along with you and nods her head, completely understanding what you mean. "i don't know, it just seems like with this new and recent trauma, all my old ones have been brought up again." debbie places her teacup down and swallows the warm tea. "that makes sense. even though it seems like you have gotten over something traumatic, we never do. it just sits in the subconscious in our brain until we face it." you nod at debbie. "well, i guess this is just perfect, huh?" debbie laughs to herself before rubbing the small of your back. "as embarrassing as it may seem when you open up to someone, i would never judge you. i'm always going to be here to listen," debbie began. you gave her a smile as you took another sip of tea. debbie didn't want to push you past what you were comfortable with, but she couldn't stand to see you suffer any longer. especially since she knew you were. this wasn't the first time you've had these absolutely awful nightmares. she just wanted to support you in any way that you might need. "thank you, debbie." you finish the rest of the tea and put the dish in the sink.

you found yourself in an all too familiar dark room. it was the basement of your old house. you were getting your father for dinner, your mother was shouting from the kitchen: "hurry up!" you swallowed hard and began fiddling your fingers. this never went well. you entered the room your dad spent most of his time, the television streaming a football game. you had never cared for sports, maybe that explains why your dad wished you away for a son. you extended your shaky hand to your dad's shoulder as he blissfully watched the game. as soon as your fingertip made contact, he spun around. the all too familiar look gleaming in his eyes yet again. your eyes widened in fear. you knew what was going to happen.
you let out a scream as you shot up from your bed. sweat was dripping down your face, your mouth was cotton dry, and your pajamas were sealed to your body. you felt as if you couldn't breathe, you desperately hold onto your heart and try to steady your breathing. lou wasn't there again, she must've gone into work early. small whimpers escaped your mouth as you rocked your body back and forth. tears now were streaming down your face. the door suddenly flung open, revealing a frazzled debbie. her hair was messy and she her black robe had fallen off one shoulder. her heart nearly shattered into pieces as she saw your distressed state on the bed. she carefully made her way over to the bed, trying not to cause you any further distress. "hey, hey, it's alright," she gently cooed. she slowly took a seat on the foot of the bed. you looked at her and your expression said it all. widened red eyes, moistened cheeks, downturned lips, tears falling with every fast blink.. she knew. you had another nightmare. "honey," she whispered. you shook your head before lunging at debbie. debbie let out a surprised "oh!" as you wrapped your arms around her. debbie wrapped her arms around you before rubbing your back, whispering shushes and positive affirmations. you sobbed into her shoulder, muttering incoherent apologies.

 after she held you for a few minutes, you slowly pulled away, wiping your eyes. "i-i'm sorry," you said in a whisper. debbie shook her head. "nonsense. there is nothing for you to be sorry for." you nodded before taking a deep breath. "but, (y/n), this isn't healthy anymore," debbie stated. you turned to her. she was right, this has been going on too long. it's a problem. "i know you might not want to tell me, and that's fine, but you need to talk about it with someone. i care about you too much to see you slowly falling apart." more tears fell from your eyes. "it's--" you tried to begin but debbie wouldn't let you. she cupped your face with her hands as she wiped some of the tears off your cheeks. "sweetheart, you need to start putting yourself first. you're allowed to need to talk to someone-- you're allowed to need help." you slowly nodded. debbie removed her hands from your face and moved closer to you. "my dad, well my parents, they weren't just verbally abusive. they were physically too. for as long as i can remember, i've always been afraid. and recently, it's just been too much to deal with. i remember being scared of my ex and it reminded me of my ex.." you pause before starting again with teary eyes, "i just can't stop thinking about it all," your voice cracks. debbie wraps a caring arm around you before pulling you close. "you will never have to deal with someone hurting you again. you have my word. no one will ever lay a finger on you, and if they do, you're going to see my face on the news for killing a man," you smile as debbie runs her fingers through your hair. "your dad, or ex, can't hurt you anymore. you're safe. you're home." you look up at debbie once more. her chocolate brown eyes glimmering down at you. "my dad didn't turn to physical violence, but he neglected me and my brother. we had to fend for ourselves. it's a tough mindset to get out of, but once you do, everything is so much better." you think to yourself for a moment. "how do you get out of the mindset?" debbie took a deep breath. "well, i started talking about what i went through. not super detailed, because i do not like talking about myself, but i allowed myself to be open and honest with those around me. i also started journaling about the nightmares and occasionally seeing a therapist." you began to feel a bit better. "and that stuff helped?" debbie nodded her head. "let me go get something for you," she suddenly replied, standing up. she walked out of the room for a couple of minutes before coming back with a dark green book in her hand. she took her seat on the bed again, handing you the book. "here, something for you to keep track of your nightmares, flashes, memories, or just anything bothering you." you open the front cover to see a note from debbie. 'no matter how big or small, your feeling are valid. i'm always here for you.' you smile at debbie before giving her another hug. debbie hugged you tighter, feeling relieved. you had finally talked about it and that was all she could want. "so, you care about me," you teased in a whisper. debbie laughed. "shut up."

a.n - hey lovelies! sorry for the long break, i'm still trying to come up with chapter ideas for this book. if you have any ideas, please let me know in the comments! i also have started another book, called sweet, sweet, love, and it's about (y/n) being adopted by debbie and meeting all the girls. it's not really a romantic book, but it's very comforting for my inner child. so if that's something you might be interested in, please check it out. there's two parts already posted! apparently this book is #6 in the sarah paulson tag?! that is INCREDIBLE. thank you for almost 10k reads and all of your ongoing support and patience. my inbox is always open if you need someone to talk to or for requests! more stuff coming soon :)