Star Wars: Daughter of the Dark Force

Chapter 17: Confusion

"Master!" I called out when I was near enough. As he turned, finally noticing me, I dropped to one knee and dipped my head.

"I'm not your master," came a human voice, sounding amused. I looked up. And got the shock of my life.

I wasn't staring at a black, baleful helmet. I wasn't staring at a six-foot-tall blend of man and machine. I wasn't staring at Darth Vader and hearing his rasping breath.

I was staring at a handsome, youthful face framed with light hair. I was staring at a man not much taller than myself, a perfectly human man. I was staring at a Jedi, a living breathing Jedi with a living breathing body.

With the exact same Force signature as Darth Vader.

So flustered was I that I popped up and stammered, "I'm- I'm sorry, Master!"

The man's amused expression darkened. "I'm no master, Kemberli, and you know it."

"Wha-?" His words made no sense at all. Kriff, nothing in this vision made any sense at all! I blinked, trying to force myself out of my meditative trance, not caring what happened to my body. But to no avail. I couldn't wake up. What sort of vision was this?!? Was this even a vision? It was like a waking dream. Everything felt so... so real, and the Force spoke so loudly, just like I was used to it, that it couldn't be a mere vision. And I had never heard of a vision where one moved of one's own conscious accord!

"I... I don't understand," I muttered, mostly to myself. But, in one terrifyingly clear second, I did. I did understand. No, but it couldn't be... No, it couldn't be. It was just not possible! Had I... travelled back in time? Had the Force transported me into a whole different epoch, indeed, an epoch that passed before my birth? Impossible. If time travelling in the Force was possible, I would have heard about it, or read about it, or... or something! But what if you're the first one? came an infuriatingly clear whisper from the depths of my mind. What if you are the first one this has happened to? No... No, no, please, no...

"What do you not understand?" frowned the Jedi, making me aware of his presence. I nearly jumped. My mind still tripped desperately over gears that would not turn. Then paused in its tripping. And then I saw it. Saw him.

My mouth fell open a second time. I recognized this man... Why hadn't I seen earlier? That dirty-blond hair, those intense blue eyes.. That scar down the left side of his face... That hard-set jaw and pug nose...

Anakin Skywalker. The Jedi's own Chosen One. A brilliant general in the Clone Wars. Killed just before Order 66.

My knees went weak.

"I'm sorry, I... I don't understand..." I stammered, lamely, and knew it was the wrong thing to say because the black-clad Jedi's eyebrows knitted together, and his Vader-but-not-Vader Force presence pulsed with concern. Why? Why did Anakin Skywalker have the same aura as Vader? Wait... Was it because... No, it couldn't be! Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader could not be the same person...

"Hey, Kemberli..." Anakin stepped nearer. "What's wrong? Are you all right?"

My exhaustion - strangely carried on from my body in the future, or on the Executor, or wherever the hell it was - made the wonderfully helpful decision to buckle my legs so that I knelt down hard on the stone floor of the Jedi temple. At the same time my head began to spin, and I abandoned my confused, frustrated thoughts in the wave of dizziness that overcame me. I grabbed my head in my hands - they were covered with black gloves, I noticed. Black gloves that stank of sweat and oil. Blood, even.

"Kemberli!" A warm, strong arm pressed itself behind my shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"I don't understand what's going on," I mumbled thickly. Then, addressing the Darth Vader - the Darth Vader in the future, not Anakin Skywalker, if he was truly to become Darth Vader - who had shown me the light of the dark side, "Master, where are you... What's going on?"

Anakin tensed with alarm. I didn't need to be Force-sensitive to realize that he was frightened. Concerned. But he didn't even know me... Did he? How did he know my name, anyway? .... Was I playing some role in the past? What was going on?!?!

"I'm taking you to Master Vokura Che," said Anakin. "Is that all right?"

I tried to answer coherently, but I couldn't. Not anymore. My lips moved, but no words came. No words, only a garbled form of "I don't understand." Kriff this stupid exhaustion...

Suddenly I was in Anakin's arms, tucked safely against his broad chest. Stupidly, the first thing I did was blush, but he didn't notice, so intent was he on his way to - where was it he was taking me again? Stang. I couldn't remember the name he mentioned. Stang... So tired. So very tired... And nothing was making sense. I decided not to try again to sort everything out, at least right away. Rather I contented myself with focusing on Anakin's face, ignoring the exhaustion that struggled to pull me under, ignoring the fact that he was a Jedi and one of my sworn enemies, ignoring my inexplicable retreat in time. Here was another human being. Here was warmth. Here was a comforting touch, a comforting embrace that wrapped around me in the sentient world as well as in the Force, keeping me company against the fears of my mind.

I studied Anakin's face, noting every line, every feature. His eyes were blue, beautiful, breathtaking. His hair was long and soft, and so terribly human. It was unsettling to feel his presence, identical with that of that grim Sith lord known as Darth Vader, and see his kind, passionate, undeniably human face. There was no way this man was Darth Vader... No kriffing way! Not with those eyes, that sparkled with determination and joy. Not with that smooth skin, that strong jaw. Not with that youth! He couldn't be much older than me... I guessed he was twenty years old, max.

Anakin noticed my scrutiny. "Don't worry. I'll get you help."

I nodded sluggishly. Even though Anakin was a Jedi, I felt some warm affection for him. Mingled with gratitude for his company and the concern that was so obvious in the Force. I dropped my eyes and let my eyelids slip over them, letting the weariness drag at me, letting myself forget my confusion. That could wait until after I awoke...

"Anakin? Kemberli! What's going on? What happened?"

Anakin looked up in the direction of the new voice. I wanted to look too, but my neck wouldn't move so I contented myself with watching an immense expression of relief spread across Anakin's face.

"Oh, Obi-Wan. Thank the Force you're here," said Anakin.

"Why, what's wrong? Kemberli?" Into my limited field of vision came a face that I recognized instantly. There was no mistaking those blue-grey eyes, that meticulously shaven beard, that handsome face, that sandy-coloured hair combed neatly to the side. Obi-Wan Kenobi. Former Master to Anakin Skywalker, general in the Clone Wars, member of the High Jedi Council. How in all of tarnation did he know my name? I met his eyes with my own tired black ones and saw there alarm and concern. As if I wasn't an unfamiliar Sith apprentice dropping out of some wormhole from the future. As if I were a part of this degenerate Jedi culture. As if he knew me.

"I don't know what happened to her," Anakin said worriedly in response to Obi-Wan's questioning glance. "She collapsed, and now she won't respond to anything I say."

Obi-Wan cursed. "Here, I'll take her."

Anakin obliged, carefully passing my limp body over into Obi-Wan's steady arms. Strangely, unexpectedly, a swift feeling of reluctance swept through me as I let Anakin's arms, but it disappeared at once as Obi-Wan's warmth enveloped me. Oh, but I felt so safe! So warm! So protected... Even though he was a Jedi. I should have felt revolted at being in such close proximity with a Jedi, especially one so important as this one, but I didn't. I couldn't.

"Kemberli, can you hear me?" Obi-Wan's voice was gentle, betraying none of the cautious concern that was nonetheless translated through the ever-present eddies of the Force. I tried to answer, to show some indication that I had heard, but my body had finally reach its limit.

Flying to Felucia, fighting the natives, duelling Shaak Ti, escaping the sarlaac's wrath, battling Starkiller, being bombarded with the premonitions of the Force, travelling back to the Executor, being scolded by Vader and thrown into the pit, neither sleeping nor eating but rather pushing myself to the ends of my strength to support my life with only the dark side of the Force... Everything piled on my overtaxed existence suddenly was too much, and I fell down, down, down, into the dark yet soothing depths of oblivion. The last thought that crossed my mind was a hope that when I awoke, I would be back on the Executor, back where I belonged in the embrace of the dark side.