his | minsung

15

He looked at his trembling legs that still had blushed marks on and feeling of minho's lips, "I apologize for yesterday" he prayed that it was a sign, a sign that he liked him even a little. jisung believed.

He wiped himself and dressed his shivering body, which almost froze crying in the shower, he went back in bed looking through his phone again, his thoughts were not there he just typed whatever "what can attract a gay man" he felt disgusting when he saw what he was looking at, stuff on the Internet, too much adult stuff, minho wasn't in his head just for pleasure, he was for...well he just liked him.

There was too much going in jisung's head and litte screen in his hands, he keep confusing, he wasn't desperate for minho in sexual way even if he kept thinking about it, again tears rolled down his cheeks, he wasn't sure, he did like him before they even..

It hurts, he wanted kisses from minho, gentle touches, to smile while they watch movies, go to restaurants, drive through the night, talk through the whols night, tell each other how much they love, even have freedom to dance in front of minho, that would be beautiful, imagine minho look at him while they dance, leaving butterfly kisses on his shoulder, while their hands hold.

Jisung sigh painfully as his shirt sleeves collected tears he cried, pathetic.

As he was scrolling through the sites, something caught his attention, he bit his lip, made sure his back is facing the wall before he clicked. One pretty cute guy was on screen, he was w-sitting in a cute skirt with cat ears, he thought, would this turn minho on? The guy started to undress, jisung's eyes chatch attention at the cute clothes the guy was wearing and touching himself.

" Would minho like me wearing this?.."

Jisung mumbled to himself looking at boy o screen, he quickly stopped and got up from the bed and got ready for the city.

Jisung thought if it would make minho happy, if it would be enough, even to confess, what minho would think about that, would he accept jisung and love him, or everything would be the same, or even worse.

When he was in the shopping center he was ashamed to enter that store, he turned around several times until he decided to go in and look for something, some things caught his attention so he bought them quickly, without thinking, he was ashamed. Even with the bag in his hand, he was ashamed to walk around. he doesn't remember the last time he visited the mall alone, he looked at the stands with milkshakes, he wanted to buy one, but he thought, it's not his money, so he just passed by and decided to go back home.

He spent some time with felix since he met him in the hallway when he left what he bought. they were laughing while playing games, eating snacks and totally lost track of the time, suddenly jisung jump out of the bed when he saw that it was already getting dark outside.

" Felix I have to go! It's late god!"

Jisung immediately ran thinking minho was already waiting in his room with furrowed eyebrows but when he arrived the room was the same, empty minho was still out, the whole day. jisung sighed feeling relieved that he wasn't late or anything like that, he turned on one of the lights on the side of the bed wall so the rest of room was still dark, the whole room was wearing scent of older strong perfume that jisung already miss, he walked to the window hearing a small tapping on the glass, seeing a heavy rain thinking minho still wasn't home.He went back to the bed where he was lying being borer, and then stared looking through his drawers out of boredom, just looking, papers, papers, company documents, didn't interest jisung that much, except for some that caught his attention.

" kids trafficking?....."

He looked through the papers, looking at pictures, names, of some kids, their identities were japanese, he look through that drawer, deeper because there was still a lot of paper, jisung almost yelled as he jumped back. It was gun, under all of documents. jisung gulped, not believing what he is looking at, he never thought he would be seeing a real gun in his life, his curiosity wanted to reached almost taking gun in his hand but immediately changed his mind, and returned the papers back on their place on top of the gun, except for the ones about the kids.