Behind The Alpha Series Book 1 Quinn

Chapter 28

(Chapter song ‘7 years' by Lukas Graham)
QUINN

I walk around the old, dusty gas station, kicking at the dirt as I try and listen for a response to my call out.  I hope I didn’t fuck it up by running. 
I turn to the store.  Paisleys paying for gas and food.  She felt it would be better if I waited out here in case word got out this far.  We’re almost at the edge of the desert and headed northeast. 
I turn back and look out to the two lane highway.  The wind kicks up and blows my hair.  I squint in the afternoon sun. 
I look to the corner of the driveway and see something I never thought I would.  An old telephone booth. 
I make my way over to it.  My eyes explore it and I place my fingertips on the door.  It swings a couple of times in and out of the glass box.  I step into it and there’s not a lot of room in here.  I run my hand over the black, rectangular box hanging in the booth.  I stop over the silver coin slots that say .10, .25, 1.00 and 2.00. 
I reach into my pocket and pick out a 1.00.  I pick up the receiver and put it to my ear as I put the coin in.  I get a dial tone.  My brain searches instructions on how to operate this.  Once I have it, I dial the only person I want to hear from right now. 
I swallow as it rings.  I shouldn’t call, but I can’t help it.  I don’t think they can trace this phone anyway. 
I start to sweat when the other end picks up.  “Preston.”
I leaned on the wall. Just absorbing the sound of his voice.  Trying to find some safety in it. 
“Hello?”
I clear my throat.  “Uh…hi…Dad.” 
“Quinn?  Oh God.  Thank God.  Where are you?”
I hear my mother in the background asking a million questions.
“I’m…I’m fine, dad.  I have some things in need to do.”  I look as a truck speeds past.
“Son, you can’t do this.  Please, come home.  We can help you.”  His voice is full of fear.
I lower my head.  “I’m scared, dad.”  My voice is shaky and I talk low.
“I know, son.  It’s not good, right now, but…Just come home.  We can work this out.”
“I can’t.  Dad.  I…”  I press my lips together and scrub my face.  “It’s my fight.”
“No, Quinn.  No.  That’s so wrong.  You don’t have to fight this on your own.”   I can hear him trying to talk me down.  It won’t work.
“No one believes me, dad.  I’m going to prison for a long time.  You can’t save me, dad.  You could never save me.  I was broken from day one.  We all knew this is where I’d end up.  I’m done.  It was good try.”  I raise my head and huff a tear filled chuckle. 
“Quinney, that’s not true, son.  We aren’t giving up on you, ok.  We can help you deal with your addiction.  We can get you all the help you need.” 
“It’s too late for me.”  I rub my nape.  “It’s too late, dad.  Just…promise me something.”
There was a bit of silence.
“Dad?”
“Yes, son.”
I sniff.  “Promise me you’ll suppress the boys.  Anne too.  Promise me you will.  No matter what mom says.  Do it behind her back, if you have to.  Don’t let them turn into a monster like me.  Please, promise me.” 
More silence.
I lower my head.  “Promise me, dad.  Please.” 
“I promise.”
I nod.  “Thank you.”
“Quinn.  I love you.”
My chin quivers.  “I love you, too, dad"
“Please, Come…”
I hung up and leaned on the wall.  My hand covers my eyes as I lose it.  The pain of my failure and my want to just go back to being six hit me with full force.  I raged my pain and picked up the receiver, hitting the phone over and over with it in pure frustrated anger.  I hung it back up and leaned my back on the wall. 
I slammed my palms into my eyes as my brain tried to process the psychological fuck up I’m going through right now.  My Lycan was fueling it hard.  He needs a hit and I’m refusing him.  This will be a war larger than the one I’m up against in the city.  The battle with myself.
Hearing my dad and wishing I could just go home like it was nothing, it’s hurting everything.  I stand straight and lean my elbow on the box.  I rub my face and mouth as  I stare out to the lot.  I think and try to calm down for Paisley’s sake.  She can’t know I’m hurting like this.  She can’t know I’m suffering without the blood.  I promised her I could do it.  I could give it up.  I can’t let her know it’s killing me.  I can’t let her know I want to give up already.
I give my head a shake, rub my face and hair.  I put my game face back on and walk back to the Jeep.  She was just putting the bags in the back as I got to the driver’s door. 
She looks me over and smiles.  “Hey.  You ok?”
I smile.  “Yeah.  I’m cool.  Never better.” 
She opens the passenger door and we both get in.
I lean to her.  “I have you.”
“Yes, you do.”  She teases and kisses me.
I start the car and my eyes meet my reflection.  The eyes in the mirror don’t even look like mine.  They look like a version of mine I don’t recognize.  Like on the other side of the glass is another me.  One that is the true monster of version of myself and he’s staring at me from the other side.  Taunting me.  Laughing at my weakness.  He’s telling me I’m going to lose.  Lose even what little I have left.  I hear my Lycan laugh with him.  They think they can beat me.  It won’t happen.  I won’t let it.
I put the jeep in gear and drive off onto the highway. 

****

We found an old hunting cabin in some woods as we crossed out if the Midwest into the Northeast.  It’s colder here. 
I opened the door with an arm full of wood.
“Oh, good.  You found some.”  Paisley says as she rubs her hands together.
“Yeah.  I had to fight a bear to get it.”  I chuckle.
“My hero.”  She says sarcastically.
I chuckle and kiss her cheek.
I drop the wood and grab a blanket.  “Here.  I’ll get the place warm soon.”  I wrap another blanket around her.
“Who knew it would be so cold up here.”  She says as she shivers.
“You’re just acclimated to the desert.  Phoenix wolves don’t do well in the cold.  We won’t be here long.  Once I get the challenge answer, we can go home.”  I tell her as I stuff wood in the wood stove.  I start the fire and adjust the flue.  “In the meantime, we can make our own heat.”  I bounce my brows and crawl into the blankets with her.
She giggles as I kiss her neck. 
I piled some clothes and sheets I found on the floor.  There’s no bed here, so the floor it is.
I pull her into me and cover her up.  I wrap my arms around her and bury my head in her neck.  I close my eyes and take in her scent.  It seems to be more intense now.  The closer we get, the more is affects me.  Makes me calm and lucid in some way.
“Quinn?”
“Yeah?”
“Are you happy?”  She says from under her blanket.
“Of course I am.”  I kiss her neck.
I hold her tight, using my body to keep her warm.  “Are you…happy?”
“Yes.”  She sounds quiet. 
I listened to her breath for a few beats. 
“You’d tell me…if you weren’t happy, right?”  She asks.
“Sure.  I would.  Yeah, I would.”  I reassure.  I'm not sure if I'm bullshitting her or myself.  I don’t think I’d even tell myself I’m not happy, but to save her some grief, I’ll pretend. 
“Ok.  I just want you happy.”  She mumbled sleepily.
“Don’t worry about me, Sparky.  Don’t ever worry about me.”  I hug her even tighter.
She yawns a big yawn.  “I have to…it’s…my…job.”  I can tell she’s falling asleep.
“Ok.”  I chuckle quietly.  “It’s your job.”  I whisper.
I close my eyes and feel all the love I have her.  I feel the love she has for me.  I think at this point it would take the devil to pry her from me.

****

‘Quinten…’
The depths of my mind start to stir.
‘Quinten…wake up…’
The voice sings my name. 
‘Where are you, Quinn?...’
I wake with a small jolt.  My sleep filled head looks around slowly.  The fires died down and the cabin is dark.  Paisleys still sound asleep.
‘Wake up, Quinn…’
“Who…Who’s there?...”  I mumble.
‘I’m not there, Quinn.  In here…’
The voice sounds dark, but it’s female.
‘It’s your answer…’
I sit up and look at Paisley.  ‘You’re answering the challenge.’
‘That’s right.  I am.’
I get up and head for the door.  ‘Who are you?’  I ask as I step outside.
‘The one you’re always five steps behind.’
I take a deep breath as I place my hands on my hips.  “The killer.”  I say out loud.
‘Not really.  Just eliminating the competition.  Can’t have my Breed Prince attached.’
‘You’re a Queen.’ 
‘That’s right.’
‘Why me?  Why ruin my life?’
‘You need to be taught a lesson, Quinn.  You never run from your responsibilities.  Running makes things that…much…worse for you.'
I walk around the front yard of the small, one room cabin.  ‘I don’t have any responsibility to you.’
‘You have way more than you think, Quinn and now, you’ll suffer the consequences.’
I stop.  ‘What do you mean?’
‘Come back and find out.’
‘If I come back, I’m killing you.’  I warn.
‘I don’t think so.  You’ll recognize a duty to the species you create.  You’ll feel the drive to help your people.’
‘Never.’  I growl in my mind.
‘I'll see you soon.  Oh, and Quinn?  Come alone.’
I feel the connection break.  I look toward the cabin.  I was ready to fight rival males, but a Queen is a different story.  I don’t have the strength for that.  Queens are at least double the strength of an Alpha male.  She has to be to keep her Breed Princes in line.  She only wants the best in her mating circle.  This one, it seems, has picked me.  It’s confusing me.  As a hybrid, lycans won’t give me the time of day normally.  Now, they cant leave me the fuck alone.  What do they know that I don’t? 
Come alone.
I press my lips together.  She’s going to hate me, but she’ll be safer out here.  “I love you.”  I whisper.
I look to the trees and look up.  I squat, jump in the air and shred my clothes.  My Lycan lands in the trees and jumps.  I land on the forest floor and run.  Clearing as much distance as possible.  My demonic growls and huffs, fill the trunks. 
I leap and jump through the forests heading for the desert.  My large clawed hands and feet grip and tear at the earth.  I’m a freight train with one destination in mind.  Phoenix City.
This Queen wants a fight, she’ll get one.