Chapter 21

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I rolled my eyes, “Ok Dr. Taub, one week from today 9:00 am.”

I looked at the clock as it read 12:00 pm; I couldn’t believe I slept in that late. I put on a pot of coffee and rinsed my brushes. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I noticed the pile of clothes lying in the laundry basket that needed to be washed; I hadn’t done laundry in a while. I sighed as I picked up the basket and set it by the door. I filled a mug with coffee and headed off to the laundry mat; thank god it was only around the corner. After a couple of hours, I finished my laundry and walked back to my apartment where I saw Kai leaning up against the door.

“What do you want Kai?” I yell before I approached the walkway. He was standing there with his hands in his pockets staring at me.

“I wanted to see how you were?”

“You could have texted me, not just shown up here.”

This is just what I needed; this asshole to ruin my day. I wasn’t in the mood, and I needed to start painting.

“Here let me help you,” he said as he took my key and opened the door. I walked in and set the basket in my room. When I came out I noticed him staring at my painting.

“Jen, this is beautiful.”

“Yeah, isn’t it? Now what do you want Kai?”

I was being mean, but I didn’t care; I loathed this boy standing in front of me and for what he did.

“Like I said, I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Bullshit Kai; I’m fine, now you know; now you can leave.”

“Jen, stop acting like this baby,” he said as he swiftly moved closer to me. Before I knew it, his mouth was on mine. I pushed him away with force.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Jen, don’t fight it, I know you still love me and I want you so bad.” I stood there in shock by his words and by his actions; I didn’t know what to say.

“Really Kai, you think I love you? Let me tell you something you scum sucking, loathing little worm; you leaving me was the best thing that ever happened in my life. I never loved you. You were a convenience for me, someone to fill the lonely spot in my world.”

His face turned red and angry, “You’re a fucking bitch Jen,” he screamed.

“Takes one to know one Kai, now get the fuck out of my house before I seriously hurt you.”

“I’d like to see you try,” he said.

I picked up a vase that sat in the corner of my desk and threw it at him. He ducked as it shattered against the wall.

“You are one crazy bitch; I’m outta here.”

I ran and locked the door, avoiding the tiny pieces of glass that were scattered across my floor. I heavily sighed as I cleaned up the mess I made, remembering the first time I met Lisa in her kitchen, and I dropped the mug on her floor.

The whole week I never left the apartment except when I went to the hospital to have a port put in for chemo. I concentrated on finishing my paintings and successfully I did. Sitting in front of my easel was the only time when I felt somewhat normal. My heart was still shattered, and my soul was empty. I felt lost and broken and no matter what I did I couldn’t shake the feeling, so I just existed.

My first treatment was tomorrow morning, and I was scared. I had no one to be there with me. The first time I went through chemo, my dad managed to stay sober long enough to be there for me during my sessions, but as soon as we left the hospital he hit the local bar. Now, I was all alone facing cancer and chemo once again, by myself.

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