Learning to Let Them In | Fourtris

Chapter 13

Tris' POV

I wake up to Tori gently shaking my shoulders. "Bea…it's time to get up. You've been sleeping for the past 2 hours," she says. Have I really been sleeping for two hours? Huh. Well I was pretty tired I guess. "C'mon Bea, I have dinner ready. You have to eat at least a little bit of it. Ok?" she tells me. I know I have no room to argue, so I just nod. "Ok. Come down once you're ready," she says and walks out of my room.

I get out of bed and find that my legs feel like jello. I must have slept on them wrong. I sit down and stretch them out and then get back up. They feel normal once again.

I throw on a pair of sweats and slippers, but I keep the t-shirt on. I just feel like being lazy tonight. I go downstairs and see sandwiches sitting on plates, along with peaches and fruit salad. I sit down in front of one of the plates and look at Tori to figure out how much I have to eat before I can be excused. "Three bites of sandwich, four peach slices, and a couple of bites of fruit salad," she says without looking up from her food.

I start eating, but it is silent all the way through the meal. Usually Tori will ask me a bunch of questions. No, not usually…she always asks me questions and tells me things that I probably don't even care about, but pretend to for her sake. Something must be bothering Tori.

When I am finished I look over at Tori. She is still looking down at her food. I frown and think about what possibly could've happened to make her so upset that she won't even talk to me. Or eat for that matter. Her food remains almost untouched, which is very odd for Tori. She almost always eats all of her food, then gets seconds, which she also eats.

I stop looking at her food and look at her face. Then I see a little silver droplet run down her cheek. And it wasn't the first. I know they are tears, but I don't know why she is crying. I haven't seen her cry since I was in the hospital.

I get up and squeeze Tori's shoulders lightly, trying to get her to talk to me. But once I do that, Tori drops her head into her hands and starts to sob. This takes me by surprise and I quickly move in front of her, drop to my knees, and hug Tori. She takes her head out of her hands and hugs me back still sobbing.

Seeing Tori so upset really upsets me too. I feel a tear slip out of my eye too and bite my lip to keep from sobbing. I don't know what made her so upset, but it takes a lot to make her cry.

A couple of minutes after I started crying too, Tori's sobs start to subside. I still have tears streaming down my face, but I have managed to keep my sobs inside. Tori sees this and gives me a small smile. She wipes her tears away with the backs of her hands. "Don't worry about me Bea. I'll be fine," she says. I raise my eyebrows at her, urging her to tell me what was going on.

She sighs and looks at me. "Do you want to know the truth?" Why would she even ask me that? Of course I want to know the truth! I nod. She takes a deep breath, then she starts. "Listen Bea. I am just worried about you. I knew that you would never be the same after the accident, but I never knew it would be this bad. Especially after a year, almost 2. I mean, I'm not saying it's bad, it's just upsetting for me sometimes. I know that I would probably act the same as you, maybe even worse if I was in your exact place. But I am just afraid that I will lose you. That I'll wake up someday and be alone. You're the only thing that I have left. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I lost Natalie, Andrew, and Caleb. I almost lost you. I almost lost the last thing that had any meaning in my life. And that killed me. That's why I make you eat as much as I do, even if it's a stretch for you. I just don't want you to do anything that would make you leave me. I'm scared that you will someday. Especially since you've already tried." At this point Tori sucks in a sudden intake of breath and lets it out very slowly. I look down. I'm not proud of what I did that day. I wish I hadn't even started to try. Then Tori wouldn't feel like this right now. I shouldn't have tried to overdose. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Tori continues.