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[Risky Business] Spamton x Reader

General Fiction

One day you were minding your own business, enjoying the internet, and one wrong click turned your computer completely haywire! The next thing you know a strange small man is yammering on about deals and heart shaped objects? [Credit goes to my B...

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It's All Downhill from Here

41 3 0

by R03N_02

by R03N_02

When you finally came to, you seemed to have woken up in some kind of dark blue alleyway, strange posters of some kind of robotic woman decorated either wall. Looking to your right you saw a dingey and slightly dented dumpster. Above you was a mesmerizing neon-green wire frame sky. If you were dreaming, you knew you'd curse yourself if you forgot all of this. It'd make for a killer concept for a video game.

Wait...Were you dreaming?

Your pondering was interrupted by the sounds of something rustling in the dumpster, and you had no time to react. What had popped out in a black and white blur was a strange little ventriloquist dummy. Though it looked like some of him was more robotic than the traditional wood a puppet like himself would be made of. His head snapped in your direction almost instantly. You could feel your fight or flight instincts kicking in as you were met with his wide permanent-seeming smile.

"*WOA H -!! ANOTHER LIGHT <NER? TALK ABOUT A [2 FOR ONE SPECIL!!]" The small puppet man seemed hover to-and-fro with an erratic nature about his movements, all the while his head staying completely focused on you. He stayed silent for a moment, you could only determine he somehow...recognized you?!

"*AH! IT'S [Insert your credentials here] YOU ACTUALLY [Fallen down and cant get up?] FOR [[Limitate time offer!!]]" He then burst into uncontrollable laughter, though it looked more to you that the laugh was just trying to escape from his mouth and nowhere else.
His gaze locked back onto you quickly after. You couldn't help but feel like you were about to get mugged. Before you could ask what he was talking about he started to talk again.
"*OH, [Losen joint pain fazt!] LIGHTNER! I, [Number One Rated Salesmen, 1997] HAVE A DEAL FOR [Your name here]!!" He inched closer, switching to speaking in brief sentences.
"*A VERY. BIG. DEAL." By the time he had finished his extremely lengthy nose was practically poking yours. You looked at him with uncertainty, fearful to even question what he meant.