Forever Yours, Never Mine (Kellin Quinn Fan Fiction)

Chapter 25: Yesterday Is Gone

  Shattered glass like a spiders web.

  Blood stained..Everything.

  Broken bones like winter's icicles crushing into billions of pieces upon hitting the floor.

  My father’s brain paints the floor.

  My mother’s lips have a purple tint.

  White daze.

  Pavements covered in rain and mangled hearts.

  Burnt lungs. The fire's rising. This ashen field is all we have left.

  Sirens blur. Heart dies.

  Is this all that is left? Is this the final goodbye?

  My final breath?

  My last today?

  Who am I to have the will to continue?

  Am I still alive?

~~~

* May 31,2006 *

* 1:58 PM *

I opened my eyes. A hospital room flooded with light. Yet I don't feel my body. I didn't want to wake.

  "You're awake!" Joeys voice yells. He stands up from the seat next to my bed. His eyes rimmed with red and his hair, dirty and unwashed, is messy and long. "I thought you'd never wake up!" he says. I don't say anything; just stare at him as he babbles on and on. I tune him out. I can’t feel any pain. Should i? My heart burns. I'm alone. I wanted to believe it was all a nightmare. Wanted to believe we had never left our house. But my parents aren't next to me. It’s just Joey. Who's grown quiet, just stares at me with wide eyes.

  "The doctors already set up her next operation-" a high-pitched voice begins, stepping through the door. It's a woman. She's petite and short, with short brown hair that frames her face. Her face looks weary and tired, like she hasn't slept for days.

"You're awake! Great!! I'll go get a doctor!!" She exclaims. She's gone before I can react.

  "That's Lucy. She's from social services, in charge of informing us of the doctors orders," Joey says, taking my hand. I nod, as he frowns.

  I open my mouth, about to say something, when a doctor comes into the room. He's middle aged; yet his face begs to differ. His gray eyes look tired and lifeless. His nameplate reads Dunn. "Good you're awake. We'll run some tests to understand your current condition. For now all I can say is to maintain rested and not spike any unwanted changes in your body," he says, looking down at his clipboard.

  I nod. Apparently there was a lot wrong with me. I had a collapsed lung that required a breathing tube stuffed down my body. My left thigh had been cut to the bone, something that would require skin transfers. My right leg had multiple cuts running from my hip to my ankle. There were more cuts and bruises on my face that would require cosmetic surgery. Three ribs had been crushed as well; my left arm had torn ligaments. My spleen and a kidney had been removed due to internal bleeding. Every breath I took was a miracle, yet it didn't feel like it.

  "My baby?" I croaked, my voice sounded strange to my own ears.

  "Her heartbeat stopped immediately after the impact. We had no option but to perform an immediate abortion," Dr. Dunn says. There's no sympathy in his voice, but his face softens and I see Joey look down at his hands. I don't say anything. But my heart breaks. My baby girl was dead; I hadn't even felt her kick. I would never hold her, never see her face, would never be able to love her. Ever since my suicide attempt three months ago, I had learned to love her. She was part of me after all. Product of rape or not, I would love her all my life. Now she was gone.