The Love Catalyst (TaeTen ff)

-Chapter 8-

The city became darker as clouds covered the sun's sunbeam. Rain started pouring a little while ago while the designer was still doing interviews with various models. Raindrops hit the building's glass walls, wetting the surface every second. In the very city of Seoul, rain showed up often. Almost every week there had to be raindrops running down the clouds; a normal gloomy day for the citizens.

Ten and his assistant were coming down the hall, leaving through the main door of the glass building. Their motivation to walk through the rain was not quite high, so they decided to wait by the place's entry wall, beneath a small shelter.

"It's been raining on and off all day, Taeri spoke, lighting herself a cigarette as she leant her back on the wall, it's a shame I didn't bring any umbrella."

Ten did not answer and simply continued to admire the wet landscape in front of him. He was thinking, deep in his thoughts, but still focused enough to refuse the smoke Taeri handed him. "You know I don't smoke", he finally said.

"Sometimes you do, when there's something bugging you, for example, am I right ?", she guessed. Ten sighed, not wanting to prove her right, although taking a smoke or two would not hurt him right now. The rain was slowing down and soon they would probably be able to go home. "What is it, the boy ?"

Ten finally met eyes with Taeri, his eyebrows furrowed. He opened his mouth as if he was about to say something but no words left his lips. He preferred to stay silent since his feelings and thoughts were still unclear in his mind. This rarely happened to him; he had a loaded love life and was normally confident in his every moves. With time, he got used to the same pattern that love was, how he needed to react so the situation could fit his needs. But that was before he met his ex though, that's where it all messed up. His trust in people reduced, he became more distrustful as he could ever be, it could never be the same anymore. Was it why he could not properly get into a relationship with the boy ? His heart broke into so many pieces Ten hardly believed he would get himself together. Within a year he got better, but his shield only grew more.

Taeri looked away again, obviously noticing the change of expression in his boss' eyes, and she spoke first not to embarrass him. "You didn't ask him a lot of questions, perhaps you know him ?" She took another smoke. Ten did not answer for a long second before finally letting sounds escape his mouth. "...We met about a month ago."

The brown haired girl knew his boss well, she knew how it could take time for him to express what he was feeling and she was being patient although she already knew what was coming. "Well it's just that... my feelings are so unclear", he said with an expression of disconfort. "Go on", the assistant chuckled.

"He slept at my house one time".

"Oh, I see how it is.", Taeri answered, not even surprised. "Oh you're not gonna believe it but nothing happened !", Ten said, "that's what's weird about all of this, how I don't want it to go fast. But at the same time he could get bored if nothing happens soon enough. But I'm still scared to mess it up afterall." He sighed again, "Nothing is even happening right now I don't even know why I'm making a big deal out of this. I guess that other fucker messed my brain up 'cause I can't even feel trust anymore.", he finished, stealing the cigarette between his assistant's fingers to take a smoke.

"Are you scared it might happen again ? Being left all alone ?"

"I just felt like enough time had passed, like I could dive into love again. But you're right, maybe I'm not ready afterall. Maybe I am scared, why wouldn't I be". He flicked the finished cigarette on the floor, the little paper roll melting into the water on the ground. He hated the feeling he had right now: feeling vulnerable. He clenched his teeth. "Alright I'm gonna head off now, thanks for the cig'" Ten said as the rain miraculousely stopped a few seconds ago. Taeri made him a little smile before going down the stairs her turn to head to her car.

~○~

So that's what it was, that weird feeling he had about the whole situation. It was more clear now that Taeri had brought it up, maybe he was scared. His previous relationship had left him traumatized, just the thought of it made him sick again. The fear of being humiliated and abandonned again was haunting him deep inside of him and now resurfaced as he realised it. Taeyong looked so sweet though, he did not look like the type to break his heart like Taemin did, but he said the same thing when they started dating. He got so madly in love he couldn't understand he was being used. This could happen with Ty afterall.

All this day made his tummy growl, so as soon as he intered his house, he went for the kitchen. He heated some leftovers and finally ate the proper meal he lacked today. Now that he felt better he came to think of Taeyong again. Of his pretty face, the way he smiled and it made his eyes almost disappear. Or when his cheeks would get filled with a pink color when he would try to flirt with him. He was happy he got to see him again today, and even more about the flirting move he attempted. Finally he got to take a look at his face closer and admire all of his little details even if it was for seconds. The dark-haired boy could not lie about his feelings though, he knew from the begining he wanted to get closer to him, to get a taste of the sweet boy that came out of nowhere in his life. But he still felt blocked, as if he was unable to push the relationship further.

He had to see. He had to try again this time with someone that may be better, who knows ? Nothing could really be like it used to but all of those one-night stands made him familiar with relationships, at least he did not lose that. A work relationship was also far different from a casual one, you learn about the person while working with them. Normal jobs with photographers and models were not very long (most of them could take only a day to finish) but this particular winter project with his new collection needed multiple versions and samples for the photos and the promotional video. Plus there was the fashion show that in this case could happen in different countries out of many days.

Unfortunately, the main challenge is always to keep a good image, especially in a city where you get looked at quite weirdly if you hold hands with someone the same sex as you. In the fashion industry, it's all about the image, not the place where you want to make a bad impression. Eitherway, there was almost no reason for Ten to reject his application. Yes, this was a reason for him to see him, but Taeyong also happened to be the perfect model, he was no newbie and it showed. Nothing was definitive right now but at least he knew he would spend more time at his side.

He was in a tricky situation, but this did not stop Ten from trying.