A/N: All chapters have been finished and polished!!
Warnings: violence, mentions of death
Word Count: 4516
PARADOX PROTOCOLS:
THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO TEMPORAL ANOMALIES --
CHAPTER SIXTY EIGHT:
THE GRANDFATHER PARADOX.
1953
It's New Jersey, 1953, and Elmer Tatelman hates his grandfather. Elmer blames everything on his grandfather. His mother's pain, his father's death, and his own sad life. This could have been just another sad tale about soup, except for one thing. Elmer is about to invent...
1955
...time travel. You see, Elmer has decided the key to his future happiness is to go back in time...
1905
...and kill his grandfather. Elmer completed his mission, but he's made one crucial mistake. He went too far back in time.
1925
You see, murdering his granfather in 1905 meant that Elmer's mother didn't exist to meet his father in 1925. Which made certain Elmer himself was never born.
Elmer killed his grandfather, so his mother was never born. But if his mother was never born, Elmer no longer exists. But if Elmer no longer exists, how could he possibly kill his grandfather? And around and around we go. Elmer has created a paradox--
THE GRANDFATHER PARADOX
The most pernicious problem in The Commission Handbook of Paradox Protocols.
This story is not true. But if it were, Elmer would have placed time, space, and every living thing in grave peril. Don't be an Elmer! We've been lucky so far. With your help, constant vigilance, and a little strategic violence, the Commission will make certain nothing like this ever happens.
Or god help us all.
-------------------------------------------------
Five had relocated him and his siblings from the bar to the poolroom to explain their current situation. "I'm so confused." Diego shook his head.
"Shocking." Allison rolled her eyes.
"Well," Viktor attempted to paraphrase Five's previous explanation. "Someone killed our mothers, so we shouldn't exist. But clearly, we do exist, and the universe can't handle it, which is a problem."
Five nodded, bringing a mug to his lips. "Big problem." He sighed.
A few feet away, Stanley had been letting out huffs and exclamations as he swiped a pool cue through the air and kicked an invisible opponent, somewhat distracting the conversation.
"Stanley!" Diego shouted at his son. "Now is not the time to be doing karate, okay?"
"Mom said I need to practice!"
"Yeah, well, she's not wrong," He went back to flipping his knife. "You're very bad."
"Yeah, well, I saved your pathetic ass!"
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