𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 [𝘚𝘶𝘨𝘶𝘳𝘶 𝘎𝘦𝘵𝘰]

↳ 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙏𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝

"It felt really weird confessing." You say, your head laying on Shoko's stomach. Your words come out muffled by Shoko's shirt. Her hand runs through your back, a friendly caress. At least through your eyes. You should be able to differentiate between a friend's and a lover's caress, but when it comes to Shoko, you're not thinking that. It's Shoko, she's your friend, nothing else.

"You swore you would never tell him, what happened?" She asks. You already explained everything that happened to her. "Why did you finally choose to confess? Why did you decide you had to tell him about it?"

"I just want him to leave me alone, Shoko." A sigh leaves your lips. It takes everything in you to control yourself and not shed a tear. You feel so empty inside. And so helpless too. You don't understand this feeling... Or maybe you do and you don't want to acknowledge the fact that Suguru still has a great effect on you. "There wasn't any other way. Suguru knows how much I longed to be a mother, and he was there when the miscarriage happened. He witnessed the lowest point of my life. Knowing that I had an abortion will make him stop."

"You know... I think you did the right thing." She continues to caress your back. You close your eyes, hoping that your eyes will stop tearing up. Trying to forget Suguru's eyes when he finally understood your words. He tried to run after you, but you ran faster and hid.

"I don't think I did." You share. "That was my secret to keep, I didn't have to burden Suguru with it."

"Burden Suguru with it? Are you serious?" Shoko scoffs. "Are you fucking hearing yourself? Are we thinking about the same Suguru? The same mommy's boy?"

"Shoko, can we not?" Your voice sounds low, weak. Tired. You're exhausted of hearing Shoko berate you because of your ex-boyfriend. She's right. She's fucking right every single fucking time but you're tired of hearing it. "Look, I get that Suguru is no good. He's a piece of shit. But I loved him once upon a time, and some part of me will care for him. At the end of the day, I don't think he will ever leave me alone, so there was no point in telling him about my decision."

"He should know. Your decision is a direct result of him and his decisions. He should know that because of him you got an abortion." Shoko slightly raises her voice. She sounds frustrated. "He should feel hurt, the same way you've felt hurt because of him and his incompetence."

"Shoko..." You sigh, trying your best to hold back a sob. "Shoko... Please."

"I hate him." She says, and you want to agree. You want to say that you hate him as well, the same way you would in your many arguments with him. But you can't bring yourself to say it. Those words were intended to get a reaction. Words to hurt him. But now you can't say those words because you don't mean it. You've never meant it. "Ever since he came to this town, all he's done is cause problems."

"Shoko, please..." You beg. You'd think of your voice as pathetic. She thinks that you're just at a low moment. She feels the teardrops stain her shirt, and feels the wet tears that soak her shirt.

"Oh, I'm sorry." She lowers her voice. She's now much softer with her words. She didn't intend to make you cry. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry. I- I just want the best for you."

She hears a sob, and she realizes how she messed up. She let her hatred take over her mind and her words, which in the end just affects you. "I just want you to see."

"See? See what?" You question as you lift your head up and look at her. Her heart drops, watching as tears stream down your face, and they don't stop. They don't look like they have an end.

"The blatant truth." She says. Your fingers run through your hair in distress before you get up from the bed and walk to the bathroom.

"I know the truth, Shoko. That's why I'm staying away from him." You tell her. You enter the bathroom and close the door, needing a moment to yourself.