How You Remind Me

26

"Hey." I said softly as I walked out the front door to the porch.

I'd tried to help Ma put the food up but she shooed me away, telling me to go get some fresh air. I saw him sitting on the porch swing staring up at the starry night sky.

"Hey." He smiled, his eyes twinkled prettier than any star in the sky. "Sorry about Nancy."

"It's nothing." I waved it off "I honest to God expected her to say something like that."

He tapped the bench next to him, gesturing for me to sit down, I did.

"Did you expect me to cuss in front of the kids?"

"No." I giggled "I didn't expect that."

"Yeah." He chuckled "Me either. Now they're going to go back to school after New Years and tell their teacher that their uncle Derek taught them a new word."

"It's an honest slip Derek." I rolled my eyes and smiled "But thank you."

"For what?"

"You saved me from a lot today." I said "You're my hero."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes "Yeah well you seem to become the damsel in distress a lot."

"True." I laughed "And you can't pass up the opportunity."

He chuckled and shook his head.

We fell into a comfortable silence as we swayed the swing back and forth.

I felt my heart humming it was beating so fast inside my chest walls. There were so many things that could fill this empty silence, some of which I could say, others I could not. Why did it feel like this wasn't the right time but at the same time I had to wonder what time ever was the right time?

I knew he still had feelings for me. But were they enough?

Did it really matter...no. I was making him fall back in love with me. I reached into the inside of my coat and pulled a box out and handed it to him, he looked at it and then at me with lost curiosity.

"Christmas is about the kids." I said "I want you to have this now."

"Meredith." He mumbled in one breath as he shook his head "You didn't have to..."

"I know." I smiled "I've had it for a while... and I want you to have it."

"But I didn't get you anything."

"I didn't get it for you expecting anything in return." I said.

He sighed and nodded as his fingers feathered over the green and red wrapping paper. He pulled at the bow, loosening it with his fingers and then carefully tearing it off. I rolled my eyes, he always treated wrapping paper like it was gold.

Whereas I, well I tore the shit out of it... it was paper after all.

He pulled the paper off once and for all and looked over the glass case that held a model of a ferry boat. His eyes lit up as he inspected it, then they stopped on the black and gold plaque on the front of the case and smiled as he read it.

Derek Shepherd, M.D. - Chief of Surgery

He looked at me without words to speak, a baffled expression.

"I told you that you'd always make a good chief." I smiled "And you always said ferry boats bring you luck."

"But I'm not Chief yet." He frowned. I smirked, accompanied by a wink.

"You will be...someday. Maybe even soon."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning Richard is acting like he wants to retire. I'm sure you'll be his first choice. You practically live at the place."

It was meant as a joke but I could see the hurt in his eyes, or maybe it was more just regret. I gulped and looked at the object he held in his hands out of shame for my poor choice of a comment.

"Thank you Meredith." He said softly after a few quiet moments "I love it."

"I'm glad you do."

I shivered and felt my nose go numb, but I didn't want to leave his company.

"We better get back inside." He said "You'll get sick for sure if you stay out here."

I rolled my eyes but complied. We stood up and walked to the door, he held it open and we went into the foyer.

"Uh oh!" Kathleen called out, we both looked at her "Looks like someone's caught under the mistletoe."

We both looked up to see a small sprig of the stuff was sure as shit hanging above our heads. We looked at each other, a mirror of nervous expressions running across our faces.

"You know what that means!" Hailee, Kathleen's middle daughter giggled "You have to kiss!"

"I..uh.. Hails." Derek stuttered "It's just a silly superstition."

"Kiss!" Brendon joined her, and then three more scurried into the room and giggled as they all changed "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

Derek turned to me lost as what to do. I rolled my eyes and nodded. One little kiss wouldn't hurt anyone right?

He sighed and leaned into me, his lips brushed up against mine for a little peck and started to pull away.

But they burned, my lips did. They tingled and were practically screaming out the lack of decency the kiss left them. His face stopped less than an inch from mine and his eyes were dark and yearning....he felt it too.

Before I think either of us knew it his lips pulled back onto mine. I felt his stubble brush briskly against my upper lip, causing it to pop open as usual, creating an opening for his lips to wrap around mine and giving him tongue access.

I felt his hands slide up my throat and cradle my jaw as his fingertips raked into my hair. I felt a soft moan rumble up my throat and enter into his mouth that was currently searching mine with his tongue. His lips suckled softly yet firmly around my own and it wasn't long before I felt my head spin and my body crave for more... a lot more.

"Eww!!" we heard a chorus of children's voices.

It startled us into realizing what happened, what we were doing, and where we were. He ripped himself from me and we both looked up with glossed over eyes and swollen lips to see Kathleen's face forming one big O and the kids giving us looks of disgust.

"Oops." I whispered as I tried to hide my flushed cheeks.

"Um." Derek cleared his throat "Sorry kids." He turned to me "Sorry."

"It's.....fine." I stuttered.

And that it was...it was more than fine. It was divine.

And yes, I wanted more.

Even worse-my girly parts were screaming for the same.

tee-hee-hee!