One of the major problems that first arose when everybody moved into the statehouse was what temperature the thermostat should be set at. Everybody was used to different climates back in their home states. And now they were all trying to co-exist together.
The Northern states wanted it cold. The Southern states wanted it warmer. States in the middle of the country wanted it at a nice in-between. Many arguments broke out over people changing the thermostat.
Somebody in the South had managed to get to the thermostat early in the morning one day. Which meant that New York woke up drenched in his own sweat from the heat. It probably didn't help that he was wearing long pants and sleeves to bed.
When he went to turn the temperature down, he saw Massachusetts and Maine already gathered around the thermostat. Both of them were also sweaty. They weren't doing anything to it, which was annoying New York.
"What the [speaks New York] are you doing? Turn the damn temp down."
"We're trying. Somebody installed a cage over it so we can't access it." Massachusetts pointed out. He wanted to argue back, but it was too hot.
New York walked over to investigate. Indeed, somebody had installed a cage over the thermostat. And he had an idea of which region might be responsible for this madness. He stomped downstairs, where people were gathered to eat breakfast and drink coffee.
"One of you Southern [speaks New York] wanna explain why the thermostat is caged off? It's too damn hot in this house."
Georgia nodded to New York's attire over his cup of coffee. "If you lost a few of those layers there you wouldn't be so hot."
A few other states nodded in agreement. They were all mostly wearing t-shirts and jeans. Well, Texas was wearing his Texan flag button-up. But it was a very breathable material. And somebody had even managed to convince Kentucky to ditch the three-shirt look.
All that to say, they were quite content with the temperature in the house. And if New York had a problem, then the easiest solution would be to dress more like them. There's no reason he needed to wear that big winter coat all the time.
"You spend time in my state every winter to escape the cold. And now you're complaining about the heat. Is there any temperature you would be comfortable with? Or do you just wanna complain about everything?"
New York let out a small grumble at Florida's comment. He didn't need the sass right now. What he needed was for one of them to fess up to installing that cage. And then for them to remove it.
Most importantly, he needed to go upstairs and take a shower to get unsticky from the sweat. But then he would come back down and interrogate them further on the matter.
----
Florida was freezing. Downright shivering. If this was supposed to be what "winter" was like, he didn't want it anymore. No wonder the Northeast liked to come down to his state for half the year. He wouldn't want to live in this temperature either.
Now, part of the reason Florida was so cold was probably that he had on just a thin tank top and some shorts. If he wore more layers, or even just threw on a jacket, he would probably be fine. But it's the principle of the matter! Tank tops and shorts are the fashion choice of the century, even if the other states just haven't caught on. They will soon. Florida is sure of it.
He was also sure that the cage Texas installed around the thermostat isn't supposed to be on the floor....
It looks like somebody took a bat or other item and beat it over and over again. If Florida hadn't known it was a cage before, he'd have no clue what it was supposed to be. But who would beat something so... viciously?
.... New York.
Florida found the culprit sitting in the living room with Gov. They were both reading books, enjoying peace and quiet.
"New York! How could you?"
New York looked up from his book. "How could I what?"
"You destroyed the cage on the thermostat and made it freezing!"
"It's not freezing you big baby. It's only 69 degrees."
"He he, nice."
"You're an idiot."
"Hey! You're the idiot!"
"Children enough!" Gov broke in. New York and Florida were getting in each other's faces. "What are you two even arguing about?"
Florida and New York started talking over each other. Trying to be louder and tell Gov their side of the story. Gov instantly regretted asking.
"Stop! Both of you just stop!" Florida and New York shut up, but they continued to glare at each other. "Since this is going to cause a fight between everybody, we're just going to make it so nobody can touch the thermostat. I'm assuming that's what you were talking about."
"Aww, but-"
"No buts! Only I will be able to change the temperature. And it's going to be set at a medium temp. Not too cold, not too hot. If you need it colder or hotter, you buy a fan or heater, understand?"
Florida and New York mumble an 'understood'. They're still glaring. If the other just hadn't been so difficult!
A small smile spreads onto Florida's face. "Oh, and you'll need to fix the wall as well. It got a little messed up when somebody took a bat to it."
"Wait- what-"
"I'll take a bat to your face you little snitch!"
"New York!"
"Bye!"
YOU ARE READING
Statehouse Rules
FanfictionA collection of one-shots. With 50+ people living in one house, there are bound to be some rules. Here are a few of those rules, and how they came to be.
