Statehouse Rules

Rule 5: Don't Mess with People's Coffee

Author's Note: Idea was inspired by  Mass and Wash likely have tons of arguments about coffee brands. Specifically Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts. 

Xe/Xem pronouns for Gov this chapter. 

----

Today was going to be a nice day. Gov was going to make sure of that. Xe had surprisingly managed to get all xyr paperwork done. Which meant that xe could finally enjoy one of the hammocks set up in the backyard.

A hammock. A good book. Oh, and a cup of coffee. Gov made a detour to the kitchen. A warm cup of coffee would be nice. It's supposed to be chilly today. The fall weather is just starting to set in.

Truly, a nice and perfect day.

"I'm just saying, Starbucks is better and will always be better than Dunkin' Donuts. Any day and everyday."

"And I'm just saying you're wrong, you've always been wrong, and you'll always be wrong."

Oh no. This argument again. Why did this have to be the argument Gov walked into. Massachusetts and Washington were standing on opposite sides of the kitchen. And as the shouting suggested, they were both holding cups of coffee from their respective brands.

Oregon, New York, Georgia, Florida, and Louisiana were sitting at the counter, watching the argument like it was a tennis match. For some reason, it didn't surprise Gov to see Florida present. Whenever something was going wrong, he was always able to be found.

Gov made xyr way toward where the coffee machine is usually set up. The Keurig was missing. In its place was the old coffee pot. Nearly 20 years old and still running somehow. An argument and the old coffee maker was out of retirement? "Florida what did you do?"

"Woah!" Florida looked over confused. "What makes you think I had anything to do with this?"

"Chaos." Everybody in the room answered at once. Even Washington and Massachusetts paused their argument to answer.

Florida gave Loui a hurtful look. "Et tu Loui?"

"You know it's true sha."

"Ok fair." Florida turned back towards Gov. "But I actually didn't start this one. They started it on their own. I'm just enjoying it."

Gov mentally urged the coffee pot to go faster. "And the Keurig?"

"That was New York."

"Shut up Florida."

"It was!"

Great, just great. That makes two Keurig's that New York has broken. One more and Gov is going to make him pay for it out of pocket.

The argument was still going on behind xem as Gov looked for a mug to use.

"Only an uneducated child thinks that Starbucks is a superior coffee brand. Dunkie's is the best there is. Always has. Always will."

"Have you even tried Starbucks coffee?"

"I don't need to. I'm wicked smart when it comes to coffee."

Washington scoffed. Then coughed. Damn allergies. "Being smart has nothing to do with it. If you actually tried Starbucks you'd realize that you were wrong."

"Never in a million years am I ever going to do that."

"They have flavored coffees!"

"So does Dunks. You're not winning me over, so stop trying."

Gov was going to regret this. But xyr cup was finally ready. So xe could say xyr piece and get out to the hammock. "I have to agree with Washington here, you should probably try Starbucks before making a decision."