BAD HABIT → DICK GRAYSON

misc | guess who's coming back to gotham!

liked by acrobats & 16 others
meetmebehindthemall | Roy took me to dinner on the beach and after two drinks I decided I could climb a palm tree. I'm not very coordinated when slightly tipsy it seems.

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notsowonderous | every day I question how Roy got you to go out with him
- thearcher | I ask myself that too 😩🫶🏻
- meetmebehindthemall | it's because he's ...
- walkingcorpse | BECAUSE HE'S WHAT?
- meetmebehindthemall | you know 🫣
- walkingcorpse | august wtf
- thearcher | it's bc I'm good at cooking 🤨 get ur mind out of the gutter Todd

nicnames | you look so cute tho !!
- meetmebehindthemall | ily
- nicnames | imy bitch come home
- meetmebehindthemall | 👀
- bloodson | ARE YOU COMING HOME SOON?
- meetmebehindthemall | I don't know, am I?

timbers | you have a quickened metabolism wtf were you drinking?
- thearcher | Wally gave her some lab made alcohol 🫡
- humangarbagedisposal | I did in fact do that 😩
- meetmebehindthemall | it was appreciated

OPENING BATBROSKIS MESSAGES ...
one new message from demon brat

demon brat
AUGUSTINE IS COMING BACK
TO GOTHAM SOON!

I REPEAT BACK TO GOTHAM!

dickwad
oh?

jaybird
Bruce is never going to shut up
about this now

timbers
All he's going to is get on Dick
for fucking up their friendship

dickwad
I don't need to hear this from you
guys too.

jaybird
and now she's with Roy you've really
fucked up this time around dickie doo

litebrite
Omg I'm finally gonna meet August?

steph
Yes 😩🫶🏻 I miss my fellow blonde in
crime

cass
Dick I'm still disappointed in you for
not talking to her 🥲

dickwad

demon brat
I told Pennyworth and he actually
smiled. Then he ran to tell father and
father also smiled.

jaybird
Smiled?

demon brat
It was unnerving.

timbers
Ofc Bruce smiled his favorite child is
coming home.

dickwad
He didn't even raise her idk why you
all say she's his favorite

jaybird
Because she is, idiot. He literally has an
entire photo album dedicated to her 😵‍💫

timbers
I think it's his obsession with Harlow
that is the driving force behind it. But
August is his other biological child so
maybe he just feels connected to her.

demon brat
I'm the blood son but she's on a
whole different level. 

jaybird
For a good reason too, demon brat.

steph
Truly the best out of all of us.

babs
I'm sending her screenshots of this,
evidence for when you guys are assholes
to her irl again

timbers
But she's so fun to make fun of.

cass
And she knows she has Bruce wrapped
around her finger 😩

litebrite
Cass you also have Bruce wrapped
around your finger.

steph
As ! She ! Should !

timbers
One of us has to 😩🫡

cass
🤭

dickwad
It's bc Cass could absolutely destroy
Bruce without blinking.

jaybird
So could I.

timbers
Anyways ...

INCOMING TEXT FROM JASON
one new message

jason
you're coming back to gotham &
didn't tell any of us

august
Thought it was fairly obvious by the
fact that my residency match was in
gotham, Jay.

jason
is Roy coming with?

august
Is that the entire reason you texted
me in the first place?

jason
... no
... not entirely

august
You can say you miss me, you know.

jason
I don't miss you.

august
🤨

jason
maybe I miss you a little

august
sounds about right.

AUTHORS NOTE

Dick "I'm an idiot in love with my best friend who's in a relationship with another one of my close friends" Grayson. That's it. That's the only authors note I have for this chapter.

No but pls enjoy the crackheaded nature of this fic. It's my favorite thing to exist ever.