family friends

19 - dreaming

Rachel,

I want to talk and see if we can figure out what's best for me... together. Can we meet for coffee somewhere so that we can have a real discussion about this?

~y/n

Less than a minute later, my phone pings with an email in response.

Baby,

Of course, we can talk. I'm glad you're finally starting to see things my way. Let's have coffee at that place you and Sam always go to. Better wait until your boyfriend is streaming tomorrow so that you can sneak out. I doubt he's my biggest fan.

xoxo Rachel <3

Despite the lighthearted way she phrased it, I know Rachel's words are a reminder that she has the upper hand here. She's been watching. She knows where Sam and I have coffee. She knows that Clay is streaming with his friends tomorrow. She knows who he is and she knows how important it is that it remains a secret. 

But this is my best option right now, so I send her back a thumbs up and tell Samantha I'll let her know what time I'm going so that she can be there. Whether or not I really do that is still up in the air.

~Later~

After an evening of settling into the room that is meant to be George's, I decide to go to bed early. Clay agrees that I should get some sleep and helps me get settled into bed. 

"Are you sure you're okay to sleep by yourself? I hate leaving you alone again," he says, gripping my hand from beside the mattress. I smile at him and scoot over in the sheets, pulling him gently toward me until he lays down beside me.

"Stay with me until I fall asleep and I'll be okay," I whisper, pulling the comforter up to my chin and cuddling closer to him. He nods and wraps his arms around me, reaching over and clicking off the bedside lamp so that we're in the dark. "Clay?" I whisper, feeling his heartbeat beneath my hand.

"Yes?" he asks, tracing his thumb back and forth on my hand.

I hesitate with what to say. There are so many things I want to tell him, but I can't. "Thank you," I say, hearing his breath pause for a moment.

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you right now, y/n. Now, go to sleep."

"Okay," I whisper, barely audible as sleep sets in.

The next thing I know, I'm waking up in the bedroom and Clay is nowhere to be found. I carefully slip out of the sheets and tiptoe into the hallway. I feel horribly disoriented like I can't quite open my eyes all the way and everything is sort of blurry. I follow the only source of light I can find into Clay's computer room and see him in his chair, back facing me. 

I almost call out his name, but something tells me not to. I creep toward him and he is entirely still. As I move around the side of the chair, I find myself bracing for something awful. But it is just him, eyes wide open, staring at his now-lit computer screen with a glare of horror. Slowly, he turns toward me and I see that there are tears running down his face.

"Everything is ruined. I can't believe everything I've worked for is ruined."

"What?"

"How could you let her do that?" He yells, rising from his chair much taller than he usually is. I back up slowly, watching his face slowly morph into nothing. 

"Y/n?" Nick's voice comes from behind me. I turn around for an instant and when I look back, Clay is gone, simply disappeared. "Y/n, I thought you were different. I thought I could trust you."

"You can!" I try to say, but my mouth is full of sand and Nick is nowhere to be found. I run toward the doorway, but my feet don't move with me and I fall over, feeling a sharp pain as my head hits the group. Instantly, the room around me melts away and I am in the coffee shop. I see Samantha in the corner, hands tied under the table, mouth covered with duct tape, eyes begging for help. But instead of walking toward her, my feet carry me to the opposite side of the shop where Rachel sits, mug of coffee in hand.

"Here, I got you hot chocolate. I'm sure you need something sweet after such a long night." I search the room for a clock, but it's nowhere to be found. I sit down beside Rachel and she closes in on me, pushing me back into the corner until I cannot move anymore. She starts to lean toward me, eyes closed and all I can think is no, no, NO!

Suddenly, I am back in George's room, shooting up from the mattress with so much speed that I knock all of the pillows onto the ground. I carefully creep into the hallway, feeling a deep sense of deja vu. My terror only deepens as I enter the computer room and see Clay sitting in his chair, completely still. My stomach churns as I get closer to him, expecting to find the blank-faced monster that I saw just moments ago in my sleep. 

Instead, I find that his head is tilted to the side and he is fast asleep in his chair. My hip bumps into the desk, accidentally toggling the mouse and causing the screen to erupt with light. Before my eyes is an article about the best security cameras. The top of the screen is lined with tabs for different cameras and websites. As I turn back to Clay, I can't help but feel relief that he is here and he is okay.

I turn to leave, not wanting to disturb him, but immediately feel his hand on my waist. "Y/n? What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asks, groggily rubbing his eyes and trying to wake himself up.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up. I'm okay. I'm just gonna go back to bed." Truly, though, I'm afraid to go back to bed because I feel like the instant I go back to sleep, I'll be with Rachel again and I won't be able to stop her.

"Thinking too much?" He asks, pulling me toward him. I nod, biting the inside of my cheek until I taste blood to keep the tears from welling up in my eyes. "Oh, love, come here." He pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me as the tears finally escape me. I try to stop the ugly sobs from escaping my throat, but soon I am a shaking, sobbing mess. Every time I close my eyes, I see Rachel again and another wave of fear crushes me.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here and it's just us." He whispers soothing words to me until I calm down again. I have no idea how long we sit there before he finally pulls me up from his chest and wipes the leftover tears from my face. "Tell me, do you want to go back to sleep or do you want to go for a ride?"

"I wanna leave," I whisper, feeling a shiver go through my entire body at the thought of dreaming again.

"Let's go then," he says, helping me up and walking into the hallway. He grabs sweatshirts from his closet, giving one to me, then pulling the other over his head. I put it on, feeling immediately safer and more comfortable. He takes my hand as we walk out to his car and he helps me into the seat, buckling my seatbelt for me as I sit, almost immobilized. I hate how much he has to help me, but right now I don't have the energy to do it myself.

Even as he turns on some light music and pulls out of the driveway, the thoughts of Rachel refuse to leave me. In just a few hours, I will meet her and everything after that is uncertain. I wish I had more of a plan and I wish I was in control, but I am not. So, I try to push it out of my mind and focus on the boy, driving me away from my nightmares without hesitation. Maybe I can figure this out.

To be continued...
word count: 2060