Gamit ang ambulance ay inuwi nga siya sa bahay ng dalaga, or more like their family mansion. Now that he's stepping inside the house biglang sumagi sa isipan niya na may anak na pala ito!
Shit!
"Okay ka lang?" Untag ni Czaven ng mapansing natigilan siya.
He would want to ask who's the father but if he'll gonna calculate the time, obvious namang siya 'yon!
Pero paano kong he's being the A in the Benjamin? Assuming? Or probably he'll be the A like aakuin niya talaga ang mga anak nito. Lahit galit pa siya dito ay hindi naman ata pwedeng may ibang lalaki sa buhay nito.
"Where's our children?" Malamig na tanong niya dito para ito naman ang napatigil.
Napatikhim ang dalaga nang bumaling siya dito. Bahagyang nanginig sa kaba at hindi makatingin sa kanya ng diretso.
"T-they're upstairs. G-gusto mo ba silang makita?"
"Ay, hindi siguro." He answered in sarcasm.
Namula ang pisngi nito sa panunuya niya. Umiwas siya ng tingin at sumunod sa dalaga ng pumanhik ito sa taas.
Tahimik ang buong bahay, maliban na lang sa biglang pag-iyak ng isang bata. Agad na sumikip ng dibdib niya. Hearing that cries from his flesh and blood. Nakakatuwa na nakakalungkot.
He's happy that he has children and Czaven is the mother but sad at the same time thinking about those time he spent on therapy sessions when he could have been there with Czaven. Sana kasama siya nito habang pinapalaki ang mga bata.
Pumasok sila sa nursery. There's a lomg crib that has divider to have four compartments. And there are name on each compartments.
Saint, Dove, Chaste, and Bliss.
Napatakip siya ng bibig habang papalapit siya ng papalapit sa apat. His eyes went blur when he finally saw his babies. His guardian angels.
Tanging hikbi lang niya ang maririnig sa buong silid. Tahimik lang rin na umalis ang mga yaya ng apat, and Czaven is silently crying too. Sa bawat na tahimik nitong paghikbi ay rinig ang pagsisisi but her regrets is way too late. Lubusan na siyang nasaktan, pinagkait nito sa kanya ang kaligayahan at ang mga anak.
"G-gustong-gusto kitang sumbatan, Angel. I want to hurt you so freaking bad." Mariing saad niya habang tuloy pa rin ang pagpatak ng luha habang marahang hinaplos ang pisngi ni Saint na natigil sa pag-iyak at inosenting nakatitig sa umiiyak niyang ama. Ngumiti siya sa bata ng maghikab ito. Unti-unti na rin itong bumalik sa pagtulog.
Czaven sobbed painfully. Tumango ito na para bang tinatanggap ang galit niya.
Umayos siya ng tayo at hinarap ito. His eyes were bloodshot filled with rage while staring at the woman he love the most yet...
"You didn't just fool my mind, you fool my heart, you fuck my life!" He burst out in anger lowly so that he won't disturb his sons and daughters.
Humagulhol si Czaven at napayuko. She tried reaching his hand pero mabilis niyang nilayo iyon para hindi siya bastang bumigay sa paghawak lang nito.
"I-I'm sorry, Heazen. I know sorry is not enough pero h-handa kong pagbayaran ang lahat buong buhay ko!" She cried.
He remain cold as ice while staring at her crying. She wanted to tell him something pero pinipigilan lang kasi alam naman nitong hindi pa siya handang makinig. Lalo pa't nagbabaga pa rin ang galit niya.
"Do you think it's enough, Czaven? I want to punish you so bad. You don't know what the fuck I've been through because of your lies and you...you are so fucking confident fooling me. You plan everything so fucking smoothly that I forgot to use my brain." He spat.
"I just love you so much.." She whispered while crying.
Natawa siya ng mapakla saka hinawakan ang baba nito para matingnan siya ng dalaga. Basang-basa ang pisngi nito sa pag-iyak. Her nose were red too. And it's actually relieving to see color on her face rather the Czaven before who's pale.
"Minahal rin kita. I become the good guy to deserve you yet you...you fuck up the good guy and become an evil for love." Anas niya.
"P-pasensya na kung ganyan ako magmahal, Heazen. I've been good in my whole life and if only becoming bad to guard your heart, I'll be evil then." Anas nito pabalik.
His jaw clenched. His face darkened and his eyes dilated. Bumaba ang tingin niya sa labi nito at pinalandas niya ang hinlalaki doon.
"How ironic, babe. You guard it but ruin it." He mocked.
"That's why I regret everything! I-I never thought I would survive, Heazen. A-akala ko madali mo lang akong makakalimutan. You'll go on with your life if you learn to accept that I'm not r-real. You'll marry s-someone else and I'll be just watching you...from above." Napahikbi ito.
Napatawa siya ng mapakla sa sinabi nito. Hindi pa rin binibitawan ang baba ng dalaga. He loves to see her agony right now. Her face is screaming guilt and regret.
Ghastly grievous agony... How does it feel, Czaven? That's what I've been through, baby. You and your little lies..
"And how was your plan went? Hmm? Did I marry someone else? Nakita mo ba akong may iba? I didn't. You weren't my religion because worshipping ain't enough to describe what I'm feeling but you're my whole damn universe."
Napahikbi ito at sinubukang umiwas ng tingin pero hinawakan niya ang pisngi nito. Huwag mong ipagkait pti ang pag-iyak mo, Czaven. I wanna see those tears in regret. Show me how you regret that you fooled me.
"H-heazen.." She protest painfully cannot stand staring him anymore. Pero nagpatuloy siya.
"Do you get me? Hindi ka lang bastang relihiyon na sinasamba, hindi ka bastang mundo pero ikaw...ikaw ang kalawakan ko. And knowing that you're not real? Everything seems unrealistic, too. It was like the whole damn universe was crashing before my eyes." He said painfully.
"I'm sorry..."
Binitawan niya ang mukha nito at lumayo sa dalaga.
"Dadalhin ko ang mga bata sa bahay ko." He declare.
Napasinghap ito at agad na napatingin sa mata niya.
"T-they can't be away from their mother!" Anas nito. Bumaha ng pagtutol ang mga mata nito.
"May sinabi ba akong hindi ka kasama?" Malamig na tanong niya dito.
"Pero ang mga bata lang ang binanggit mo.." Mahinang sagot nito.
Bumaba ang tingin niya sa labi nito saka binalik sa mata ng dalaga.
"You were my baby and still my baby. Am I right, angel baby?" He mocked.
Her eyes widen a bit. Mas tumingkad ang kulay sa pisngi nito at halos hindi masalubong ang tingin niya.
He took a step forward and lean on her ears.
"Don't celebrate too early, Czaven. I'm still mad at you." At hindi ako magmarupok!
"N-naiintindihan ko. Gagawin ko lahat, Heazen." Matapang na saad nito.
Ngumisi siya at lumayo nito. Pinaglanda niya ang daliri niya sa leeg nito dahilan para bahagya itong napapikit at napaawang ang labi.
"Anything..?"
"Hmm..." She nodded but seems so lost on his touch.
"Then, I want you to be naked always when you're in my room. Naked. Always, Czaven."
"H-heazen.."
"Nakulangan ako sa apat. Gusto ko pang dagdagan." Sabi niya at tinalikuran ang namumulang at hinarap ang apat na anak.
Hindi pala marupok, huh?
