Ever missed someone you haven't met? Ever pushed back a task to the back of your list for so long and felt utterly devastated when you lost your chance? Jaemin here goes through something like that. He wanted to do something but before he could reac...
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Jaemin tugs his cardigan closer as the cool breeze brushes past him. Just as he stood up to walk over and close the window, Mr. Lee's voice alerts him of an announcement. "Dear students," Jaemin frowns at the odd pause after his Principal says that. Is something wrong? He thought to himself. "Dear students, I..regret to inform you that one of our dear students, Park Jisung of Year 10 has passed on. We will hold a memorial service for Park Jisung during the assembly this Thursday."
Jaemin's limbs suddenly lose all their strength and he sinks down on his seat. A supportive arm wraps around him and he buries his head on his chest. Hot tears trickled down his eyes but the sting was nowhere close to the sting that his heart felt. A comforting hand now rubbed soothing circles on his back and the whisper "Nana don't cry," made him shiver.
Park Jisung's funeral was quiet, not a lot of people were present and the only sound that was audible were Mrs. Park's wailing. Jaemin stares at the picture of a smiling boy, if the situations were different Jaemin would've been smiling back at it but he's not. Who even is Park Jisung to Jaemin? Were they close enough for him to be bawling his eyes out at the moment?
People looked at him with puzzled gazes and a hand had to pull him out as his cries were getting out of hand. "Jaeminine, you'll get sick if you go on like this." he said, wiping the tears with a pink handkerchief which Jaemin bought for him last summer. "Why..did he do that?" Jaemin's voice croaked out, completely clueless of the events that might've led to this situation.
News spreads like a forest fire. 'Jisung's abusive family' has been the hot topic for the past few weeks. Just a week after Jisung's death, both his parents were arrested. Jaemin remembers seeing their stone cold faces on the TV screen and his mother running to him when he started breaking down.
"Jeno, I can walk back home by myself. I'm okay" Jaemin says tugging the straps of his backpack that now was dangling down Jeno's shoulder. "You're not and my parents don't mind." he responds and continues to drag the male to the white vehicle parked in the school's parking lot.
Jaemin stayed silent throughout the entire ride back home. He silently thanks the heavens for the 'Lees' not starting any small talk since he couldn't trust his voice to not choke up mid-sentence when they ask him if he's okay. Jeno probably talked to them beforehand, Jaemin squeezed their intertwined hands to show his gratitude to which Jeno smiled understandingly.
Before entering home Jaemin has to put on a mask, oh not the ones that protect you from the virus or hide your face. This mask is used to cover his emotions which unfortunately slipped when he saw some poor excuse of humans on the television. Boys shouldn't cry, he reminds himself before stepping foot inside.
"Mommy I'm home!" he informs and she peeks from the kitchen to greet him with her usual cheery smile. Mom radiates sunshine energy, never seen her cry before. Whenever you look at her she's smiling so brightly. Jaemin wishes to be like her and thinks pretending would get him to feel the real thing one day.
