The Switch

Chapter 9: Hayley

I don't like this book as much as the one Will stole from me. It's alright, just not that interesting. It's almost six in the evening now and we've been silent for quite a while. Will is doing something on his phone, waiting for me to give him this book.

Joke's on him, I'm not going to tell him that it's not as good. "I'm sorry," he says, startling me.

I jump in response and look at him. My hand flies to my heart, my pulse beating rapidly. He laughs and repeats sorry, this time meaning it for scaring me.

"Why are you apologizing? The first time, I mean."

"I'm sorry for leaving the conversation last night. You didn't deserve that. I just needed a break from talking about that, I don't want to see you get hurt again," he explains.

"I appreciate your concern. But it was just me thinking out loud, I don't think you have to worry about me going back to Kyle," I tell him.

He nods. "Alright, I'll believe you. But just promise me you won't go back to him."

"I promise," I say, assuring him.

The only problem with the promise I just made is that I don't know if I really meant it. With that thought, I pick up my phone and check the texts from Kyle and Courtney from last night. There are a few more from today and I click to view the ones from Kyle.

They read:

Kyle: Hayley, I'm sorry.

Kyle: Please answer me.

Kyle: Will you call me? I just want to explain.

Kyle: Hayley, please. Give me another chance.

Kyle: Just call me, please.

I stare at the texts for a moment, thinking of a response. I glance up at Will, making sure he's not watching me right now. His eyes are fixated on his phone. Good. I type my response:

Me: Fine. Call me.

The reply comes almost immediately.

Kyle: Alright, one second.

Me: Okay.

"I have to call someone," I tell Will and leave the room before he can say anything back.

Rushing to the hallway, I wait impatiently for Kyle's call. He calls seconds later and I answer immediately. I realize that decision made me seem desperate but it's too late now.

"Hey," his voice comes through the phone.

As mad as I am right now, I can't help but feel good hearing his voice. "Hi," I say back, keeping my voice short and clipped.

I don't want him to think that I'm automatically going to take him back into my life. "I don't think I can make this right, but I want to tell you the whole situation," he says, getting ready to explain.

"Alright."

He sighs and begins talking, "A few weeks ago, right after we graduated, Courtney started coming over a lot to hang out with you. Of course, you already know that. But I know this is horrible and it shouldn't have happened, but whenever you would leave the room or something, I would steal glances at Courtney. Then we started talking like we never had before. I know we've all been friends for a long time, but it felt way different.

"And one day, I kissed her. You left the room again, I kissed her again. I should've stopped, I should've told you that we couldn't be together anymore. I don't know why I didn't and I know it was a horrible mistake," he pauses for a moment.

I'm silent. I can't speak, it hurts too much. All I can think is, how could he? It repeats over and over in my mind. When he realizes I'm not going to say anything, he continues.

"It went on for about three weeks. It took a huge toll on how I treated you and I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this. I don't deserve you, but could you find it in your heart to give me another chance someday?" with that question, he patiently waits for my response.

I'm silent again, I don't say anything for at least a minute. "I don't know, Kyle. Aren't you dating Courtney now?" I ask, tears coming to my eyes.

Now he's the one being quiet. "Yes, but.." his voice trails off. He's obviously trying to think of an excuse.

"But what? I haven't even forgiven you. I don't know if I can. I still love you, Kyle. But it hurts too much. And it's your fault. You know that, don't you?" I try to keep the upset tone out of my voice, but it pokes through with almost every word.

"I know that, and I'm so sorry. I can't say sorry enough. I know I can't make it right, but I'll do everything I can to make it up to you somehow. It may never be quite the same. But please, please, forgive me," he begs me.

I let out a long defeated sigh. "I don't know, Kyle. I need time to process everything, I gotta go, though."

"Hayley, wait-" his voice is cut off by me hanging up.

Why did I even agree to call him? Why is he even trying with me if he's dating Courtney now? They got what they wanted, so why is he even trying?

I slide down to the floor and slump against the wall. The tears are falling and I cover my face with my hands. I sniffle a few times and do my best to wipe away my tears. Once I'm satisfied with how I look, I head back inside Will's apartment.

Upon coming into the living room, I see that he's reading the book I left on the couch. I roll my eyes and sit down. His eyes move from the pages to me, but he doesn't move his head from its current position. "Who was that?" he asks.

I hate lying, but I don't want him to be mad at me. "Oh, it was just my mom," I say calmly.

"Mmhmm," he sounds out.

"What? She was just saying hi," I defend.

He looks up at me fully now, his eyes hard. "Why did you address your mother as 'Kyle' then?"

My hand flies to my mouth. "I, uh, I only mentioned the breakup to her. I didn't address her as Kyle."

Will closes the book and puts it in his lap. "The walls are paper thin, Hayley. Stop lying to me."

I feel my face flush. He has me cornered in this conversation. "I'm sorry," my voice comes out in a whisper. "I didn't want you to be mad at me."

"I wouldn't have been if you didn't lie to me," he says as he gets up.

"Will-"

He takes the book with him as he walks to his bedroom. "Goodnight, Hayley."

With that, he shuts his door forcefully, almost slamming it. I lay down on the couch and pull the blanket over my head. I want the world to go away again. Fighting the urge to go bang on Will's door to apologize, I do my best to drift off to sleep.